I'm losing touch with my boys. | Page 1 | The Gaian Mommies Guild | Guild Forums

jaz_qun_min_icy

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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 12:17 pm

My two children, D'Metrius and Justin are going into their own world. Justin, who is 19, has always come to visit me and my son, but lately, he's stopped. Last time I saw him, he had 3 tattooes and was smoking heavily. He lost his father to smoke 2 months ago, so I know he knows the consequences of smoking.

My younger son, D'Metrius (he is 12), has his own nonsence he talks about and wears his pants very low. He curses and is very out of control. I don't know what to do. I'm also expecting twin boys in 5 months and they'll be raised without a father.

Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 4:17 pm

ok, from a guys opinion here..... as for your oldest, he is 19 now, he is an adult and can make his own decisions.

and as for the 12 yr old... I personally say beat the ever living hell out of him.

I am sorry to hear about their father and I hope you fine someone to act as the father figure for your twins that are on the way.

(just another rant from yours truely..... Kenshin)

Emo Toothpaste
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Mystress_Gin
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 6:06 pm

Have you thought of getting family counseling... or individual counseling for the 12 year old... It sounds as if he is acting out.... as for the 19 year old I know the feeling... My oldest who is 21 went through the same phase, but we eventually worked through it. He is now active duty Army and is going to be deployed to Iraq in December or January. My 18 year old daughter goes through phases one day she wants to talk to me the next day she doesn't./... I thnk it is because she needs her own space. but seriously I would put my foot down with D'metrius and tell him your house your rules... there is a study being done with youth wearing there pants like that and it isn't healthy for the hips.... it cause problems with the joints and muscles... you might try and look it up... But I do recommend counseling. smile

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:45 am

Thank you for responding. I had a long conversation with D'Metrius last night and we threw out all his big jeans. He said he's been acting that way because of my ex's death, and he said he wanted to be tough so he could deal with it.

As for my older son, I'll let him run his course until he's tired of it. I know he'll get bored of it because he's always been a very bored kid.

THanks for the advice!!! biggrin

jaz_qun_min_icy

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Emo Toothpaste
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:04 am

Any time.....I hope my advice helped a bit.

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:26 pm

jaz_qun_min_icy

Thank you for responding. I had a long conversation with D'Metrius last night and we threw out all his big jeans. He said he's been acting that way because of my ex's death, and he said he wanted to be tough so he could deal with it.

As for my older son, I'll let him run his course until he's tired of it. I know he'll get bored of it because he's always been a very bored kid.

THanks for the advice!!! biggrin

I am glad that you had a good talk with D'Metrius and got to the bottom of the way he was acting... but seriously you might want to take him to a bereavement counselor to help him work through his father's death. Sometimes it is very hard for kids to deal with the death of a loved one.... And I can see that you love him and want to support him.....

Mystress_Gin
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MomokoAnazia

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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 3:24 pm

i agree...that counsling might be a good idea.
even though i know things are getting straightened out..but even if he says its ok. it might not be ..deeper down.

I never lost a parent when i was younger, however i felt like idid because my mom had triplets when i was 14. I wasn't as special as they were ...cause well they were triplets lol. I was shuved aside and all of that stuff.

there might be more to it then him just wanting to be tough. I dont know..i just think it might be a good idea.

and i hope this isn't to personal of a question however, how are you doing with all of this? I cannot imagine..being in your situation at all. Do you have any family close? Twins by yourself..i..cannot even fatham that.

but..yea..idk..im rambling. I hope things get better for you..and ya i agree with every one else about your eldest son. Its probably just a phase and hes probably dealing with allot himself.

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:43 am

It was thought for awhile till they did the sonogram that my first was going to be twins because he was so big... I mean the nurse was palpating my enormous belly and said I think I feel 2 heads.... got the machine and said nope I am wrong it is just one big baby... What I thought was another head was his butt.... LOL and yes he still has a bubble butt.... 21 years later.... rofl

Mystress_Gin
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jaz_qun_min_icy

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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:30 am

MomokoAnazia

and i hope this isn't to personal of a question however, how are you doing with all of this? I cannot imagine..being in your situation at all. Do you have any family close? Twins by yourself..i..cannot even fatham that.

but..yea..idk..im rambling. I hope things get better for you..and ya i agree with every one else about your eldest son. Its probably just a phase and hes probably dealing with allot himself.

Well, I haven't really thought about all of that sweatdrop And my younger brother always loved to help me with the kids. So I guess he'll probably help me.

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:28 pm

*huggles* Sorry to here about losing a loved one. I hope that you are able to get closer to your boys.

CloverBandia
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Mystress_Gin
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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:07 pm

Everything wil get better with time.... Just stay positive... heart

Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:28 pm

yeah im 35 my middlest kellan hes 12 he used to think he could get anything he wants but one day my husband jacob (who i recently divorced) got ahold of his butt and beat the living hell out of him my oldest sarah whose 17 i grounded her for a month my baby robby i tap him on his head and say"nono" and he listens thats what i do to punish my kids now i have to spank kellan mothers work

Alex Love391

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