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wrote this a while ago. got bored, so i'm sharing it. i know it's got some complete au crackyness going on, but that's the point. it was originally part of a father's day challenge on y-gallery. And cap's not OOC, he just acts differently around their bunch than he does in public. seriously sweatdrop
oh, and for those that have never read hirano's other works: one of them has hitler raping a catgirl that looks an awful lot like schro, confused and in "coyote" major's prototype character talks about his mom being a whore and stuff. enjoy! feel free to tell me what ya think of it.

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NOTE: all characters speaking german unless otherwise noted. I’m not in the mood to write accented English for them.

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Doc set a folder down, scribbling notes into the margins as he hummed to himself.

“Don’t touch my computer,” he said without turning from his notes. Schrödinger’s hand snapped back away from the keyboard, and he tried his best to look innocent.

“I did nothing!” he said defensively, hands behind his back as his ears flattened slightly.

“Besides, I am everywhere and nowhere, I could be touching the computer right now, and you wouldn’t know it.” Schro added offhandedly, looking away from the shiny new technological device.

“But you are –not- touching it, understand?” Doc said, looking up at him. Schrödinger mrowled a scowl, looking forlornly at the computer.

“But it is so shiny and new…”

“And it will stay that way. Do you remember what happened to Major’s ping-pong table?” Doc asked, and Schro’s ears flattened completely to his head.

“You. Will. NOT. Touch. It. Understood?” Doc said, and the catboy nodded. He skulked away from the terminal, and past the Captain as he entered the room.

“Ah, Captain, good, I was just…”

“The Major says he’s sent three underlings to fetch you,” the werewolf said, and the Doctor smirked a chuckle.

“Ah, yes, I was… distracted.” He said. “They… left… of their own accord, I promise you,” Doc added, and the other scowled behind his coat collar.

“Just get your a** upstairs,” he said shortly, turning on his heel and leaving the creepy man’s workspace. Doc swore he heard mutters of ‘glorified errand boy’ ‘stupid scientists’ and ‘Herr Fatass’ under the werewolf’s breath as he left. With a sigh, Doc collected his papers, and then looked about the room.

“You will NOT touch my computer, do you hear me, cat?” he called, then grumbled a bit and carried his reports out the door.

“I am not a cat,” a voice complained, a pair of furry ears rising beside the desk. “I’m a Schrödinger,” he pouted slightly, then turned toward the glowing rectangle of light beckoning him closer. He made an awed expression, poking the computer’s mouse experimentally, then cringing, looking around to be sure he wasn’t about to be reprimanded before continuing his examination.

He tapped it again, then figured out how to make the pointer move on the screen. He was fascinated for a short time, then grew bored, idly tapping the button of the mouse as he scrolled it around. With a cry of surprise, he ducked behind the desk again as the screen changed.

“Oh, it has words,” he said, then moved the mouse again, finding out that he could make the words move around, and make other boxes of words open up by clicking the button. He played with that for a few moments until he heard footsteps approaching. Hurriedly, he started trying to close and undo the things he’d done, then ducked beneath the desk as Doc returned, visitors in tow.

Schro waited until he was facing the other way, then began clicking things again, trying to make them go away. Suddenly, a bunch of pictures appeared, and Schro ducked and glanced back, then tried to click them to make them go away. This only brought up more pictures, these ones with less clothes than the other…

“MAMA!?!?!?!” Schro cried, then fainted dead away, twitching slightly where he lay on the floor in a heap. Doc and the Captain rushed over, and Doc poked him with his foot, then sighed, looking at the monitor.

“Ah, he found my pornography folder. Damn him.” Doc muttered. The captain blinked oddly at the pictures.

“Is that HITLER?” Captain asked, stunned. “AND A CATGIRL????” Doc nodded.

“Yes, he had a thing for furries apparently. What, you didn’t know? How do you think that happened?” Doc said, gesturing toward the lump of catboy on the floor.

“Hitler is Schrödinger’s FATHER???” the captain exclaimed.

“What in the hell is taking you both so long, I…” The Major said, pacing angrily over to them. He stopped, blinking at the images on the screen.

“Ehe, sorry Herr Major. Schrödinger seems to have found my scans of my vintage pornography collection, and…” Doc began, quickly starting to close image windows. Suddenly the Major cried out in horror.

“MAMA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” he shrieked, pointing at the screen before fainting away in shock. Doc looked down at him in stunned silence, then over at the catboy, then back to the heavyset Major.

“This… is not a good day for science,” Doc said, staring at his troublesome new computer.
~

LOVELY fancrack, Michi! xd You know... now I am gonna have to let my mind wander on what happened to poor ol' Major's pingpong table and draw on such... xd Oh~ I forgot how much I like your work... 3nodding

All hail the power of fancrack. rofl

I can't believe this is the first time I read this.
Oui. Tis fantastic.

Oh, hey Angel how is that picture coming along?

Oh, my, Gorenza, you do dig up the most amusing old threads.

Angel: the picture you say you ought to draw in the post Gorenza quotes right here. "poor ol' Major's ping-pong table"