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 Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:42 pm
Well I overthink everything and play too much guitar hero and I still like to hope that one day I'll be fluent enough with language to make an impact literature, but mostly my life boils down to bridging the gap between the no and the yes.
The Least You Need to Know
Tuonetar...
-is female bodied.
-loves female bodies. Okay, a lot.
-is currently sixteen seventeen. Eighteen!
-is a senior in high school. Make that freshman in college
-probably has something better to do right now.
-is studying creative writing in college.
-is passionate about the welfare of the world its inhabitants.
- wahmbulance Can be incredibly vain and narcissistic. wahmbulance
-is trying very hard to contemplate the wonders of life and experience them, simultaneously.
Tuonetar Likes <3
-creative endeavors such as writing poetry, short stories, painting, and drawing.
-classic films.
-indie films
-60's counterculture.
-abstract art
-Books!
-a pretty wide variety of music
-yoga
-cats
-cafes
-interesting people.
Everything is just fantastic.
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:07 pm
(the last fifteen minutes of) 7/11/08
The Gist of Me
Seventeen-ish years ago my mom probably forgot her pill or something, so here I am. I spent most of the early years of my childhood pining for some semblance of understanding from my peers. Finding none, I withdrew into myself, read a lot of books, and amused myself with writing, video games, and using my imagination. I generally got along a lot better with adults than with people my own age (and sometimes, I still do). Middle school arrived. I grew incredibly angsty, started dressing entirely in black, wrote angsty poetry, and listened to angsty music. I don't want to talk about that anymore.
Life improved dramatically with the onset of high school. Gradually I came out of my shell and made a lot of new friends. I also noticed that I looked at girls a lot. lols. It was a gradual process but I came out to myself, my friends, and eventually my family with few negative side affects. Of course, this new realization led to dating, which led to a lot of unnecessary drama and hopeless crushes.
And then one day (or perhaps over the course of a great number of days and nights of poetry and introspection) everything began to click into place. I realized that I had a lot more power over my life than I had previously given myself credit for, and that I didn't have to pursue a life I didn't want, or adhere to anyone else's self-righteous standards of what kind of person I should be or how I should think.
I opened my eyes and laughed.
I share a little joke with the world you see.
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:04 pm
7/20/08
She is...
More beautiful to me than she will ever know... heart
And if you can excuse my being hopelessly romantic for a minute I would just like to clarify that I have not fallen in love; this is like getting up for the first time.
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 9:19 pm
7/20(or possible 21 by the time I finish typing this)/08
Am I supposed to talk about my day?
Because there's not much to say about it. It seems like for a day that wasn't that fun the time certainly flew. Not that the day was completely un-fun but...
You know what, whatever. I'm kinda sick of this weather. I love thunderstorms but driving home from work in torrential rain late at night stresses me out.
Speaking of which, while I was driving home today from work I suddenly started laughing hysterically and crying at the same time. I like to think I'm not so easily overwhelmed but oh well. It was a strange and almost spiritual moment I guess. I can't really explain it now so I don't know why I'm bothering with mentioning it.
Sometimes I am just in awe of the amazing complexity and beauty of everything.
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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:34 pm
7/26/08
How come I never post these during daylight hours?
So my girlie's away for like, two and a half weeks. crying
And she's going to Alaska of all places. That's like...not even in the continental United States. I hope she watches out for yetis...
We aren't going to have that much time together for the entire month of August and I miss her already, but what can I do? Maybe I'll actually devote more time to getting some writing and artwork done. My basic goals for the summer are as follows:
-fill my current sketchbook by the time my birthday rolls around. (Christ that means I only have three weeks left!)
-Get my AP Brit Lit summer reading assignments and essay done.
-Finish the short story that's been incubating in my head for the last like... eight months
-read lots!
I'm not very far into any of those goals. I should get off the computer...
(lols)
In other news, I made an appointment with my guidance counselor today to tweak my schedule for next year. As it looks right now, during my first semester I would have late arrival, two study halls, and early dismissal. lol no. And besides that I'd have TWO math classes second semester. I hate math, so no way am I allowing this to go down.
Overall though, I'm really excited for this coming school year. My senior year... I guess I just need to keep my grades up and get a really ace writing portfolio put together. I know where I want to apply and I'm not actually that worried about getting into the colleges I want, but I know that I need to keep everything together this year.
Very soon everything is going to change.
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Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 9:40 pm
2/14/09
It's been so long since I've written in this. A really long time.
Where do I start?
I've been plagued by this sinister feeling that one of my best friends is hurt or in trouble. Last time I got this feeling, she was in the hospital vomiting blood. :/ Her number's out of service or not working or something, and augh I wish I could just hear from her in some small way.
But anyway. Optimism. I'm sure she's fine. I hope.
I've been accepted to one of the colleges I applied to which is nice. I'd been feeling kind of down for a while, but knowing that I can at least go SOMEWHERE is like a huge weight lifted.
It's the best of times, and the worst of times.
I'm making the honor roll as usual, my girl and I have been together for seven months today, and the whole world is ahead of me.
But while I come into a fuller realization of myself,
some of the people close to me fall apart,
and part of me knows that everything is going to pass and fade away...
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Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 2:11 pm
Why do women become monsters?
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:58 am
Anxiety! At the gay bar Why do women become monsters? I have been wondering this myself. It needs to simmer over in my head a bit longer. I will have a decent answer for this someday!
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:49 pm
7/16/09
Full of free-floating apathy.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:14 pm
First full day alone. Parents and siblings are gone this entire week.
I could get used to this, it's nice to be able to do what I want, when I want and not answer to anyone.
But this could just as easily wear me out. Everything that needs to be done has to be done by me now, and I haven't been talking to anyone much since yesterday. It's an awful habit that I have. I rarely reach out to anyone, and I know I miss out sometimes because of it.
But really, this could be a valuable life lesson for me. I'll be off in the real world all too soon, with tons of real-world responsibilities.
Also, Hofstra University is offering me a $16,500 renewable scholarship. whee
Still haven't heard from any other schools which is annoying because Hofstra still remains my third choice. Now they've got a sizeable scholarship to match too. xD
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:18 am
"I'm a lazy sod. I'm so LAZY, I can't even be bothered.
Lazy lazy."
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Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:03 am
So not ready to go back to school tomorrow. ._.
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Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 7:56 am
What?
Am I really in college? Am I really in New York City? Can it be that my dreams are manifesting themselves all the damn time?
Awesome.
I'm not on Gaia that much anymore, but I'll creep in from time to time.
My life now consists of college, writing, homework, books, coffee, live music, dancing, and the internet. It's like nothing and everything have changed at once.
It's nice.
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