Welcome to Gaia! ::

Okay, I will probably need to start at the beginning, I grew up pretty oddly. I grew up thinking I was gay. My brother and his friend that lived right down the road would always shove me into closets and the small laundry room and turn off the lights. I would get so scared. And then when my brothers older friend was about 16 and I was 9 he molested me and my brother watched. my parents both smoked as I was growing up which put into the hospital with asthma and nearly killed me, I had an oxygen level of 62. I always blammed my parents for my asthma. okay life continued as normal for a little bit, going through denial and all. My parents each fighting for coustidy. We moved up to michigan a few years ago. I feel in love with a guy that was illegal at the time. my mom found out that he was gay and that I hung out with him too much to be healthy or something like that. needless to say I was force to part with him. I am very emotionally dependant and often get attached to being with someone to so long, it was about 6 months. Later that year my mom woke me up at 3:30 AM on a saturday morning about a week before my birthday saying "The people up here are a bad influence we are moving back to arkansas" I said I wasnt going. She got her father which lives next to. He stated to drag me. I kicked to get away and hit both him and my mom. I tried escaping through the hallway and my grandfather caught me and started to choke me. I was able to twist out of it. My grandfather has these long old nasty finger nails and doug into my skin and made my neck bleed. I was sleeping in my underwear. I was able to get outside and ran through the woods next door. I banged on the door, no answer I ran out to the road and started running I saw a light on at a house and banged on the crying and all, I woke up the dog which woke them up. they called the cops. My mom and grandfather turned the story around and I went to Juvey for about two weeks, most relaxed birthday ever. It wasnt that bad at all.because they were like going through something they didnt have that many people there. ohwell. The judge told me that I had to return home. I played nice and acting fake for them for way to long. I havent loved my mother in some time and I dont care anymore its just that she still has complete control over me. andI had a date tonight to go camping with a guy that I really like and she doesnt know what it was about all that she knew is that I was going camping with some friends. she said if I went she would call the cops and say I ran off. I dont know what she is like that. but once I hit 18 im done. she can go stick it. I will probably never see her again. or a I not. I even want to get my last name changed too.it would be nice. I dont know I am just looking for some support. I got three months. and I need alittle support to put up with it alittle longer.