DISCLAIMER: I dedicate this post to the up an' comming Stephene Meyer book "Breaking Dawn." Also i do not own twilight, i just like to write about it.
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Virti: hello my crazy's. How are you today?
Edward: well I don't know about the rest of my family, but I'm not great thanks to Jacob.
Virti: and what did Jacob do Edward?
Edward: he made Bella an addict.
(Virti looks shocked)
Virti: you gave Bella drugs?
Jacob: no of course not I would never do that.
Virti: you gave her alcohol?!
Jacob: no no no I took her to starbucks okay.
Virti: wait wait wait, she's addicted to coffee?
Edward: yup, she's completely hooked.
Virti: where is Bella anyway?
Rosalie: starbucks with Emmett.
Virti: Emmett?
Alice: yeah Emmett is addicted to the smell he's also addicted to seeing neurotic people complain about service.
Edward: now Bella is one of those people.
Jacob: her eye was twitching thanks to the little leach!
Alice: hey hey hey don't blame me for your mistake puppy!
Jacob: I was trying to calm her down
Edward: how was coffee going to calm her down it would just make her worse.
Jacob: hey Embry told me that was a myth that tea was the one that does that.
Edward: well Embry is a moron!
Jacob: hey don't insult Embry he's like my brother in fact he could be my brother!
Carlisle: now Jacob Edward calm down Jacob meant no harm to Bella or Emmett.
Rosalie: I want my husband back!
Virti: simmer down Rosalie!
(Rosalie crosses her arms and makes a "hmph noise")
Esme: Emmett and Bella are starting to scare everyone so please help them.
Virti: I’ll do what I can, bring them in next week.
Alice: excellent, oh I almost forgot. How's the baby?
Virti: there is no baby.
Alice: not yet.
Virti: what are you talking about?
Alice: you'll see
Virti: Damn it Alice! Tell me what baby?!
Esme: oh Alice just tell already.
Alice: no
Virti: fine I’ll see Rosalie on Tuesday the rest of you on next week, good-bye
All: bye
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Part One Here
Part TwoHere
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Virti: hello my crazy's. How are you today?
Edward: well I don't know about the rest of my family, but I'm not great thanks to Jacob.
Virti: and what did Jacob do Edward?
Edward: he made Bella an addict.
(Virti looks shocked)
Virti: you gave Bella drugs?
Jacob: no of course not I would never do that.
Virti: you gave her alcohol?!
Jacob: no no no I took her to starbucks okay.
Virti: wait wait wait, she's addicted to coffee?
Edward: yup, she's completely hooked.
Virti: where is Bella anyway?
Rosalie: starbucks with Emmett.
Virti: Emmett?
Alice: yeah Emmett is addicted to the smell he's also addicted to seeing neurotic people complain about service.
Edward: now Bella is one of those people.
Jacob: her eye was twitching thanks to the little leach!
Alice: hey hey hey don't blame me for your mistake puppy!
Jacob: I was trying to calm her down
Edward: how was coffee going to calm her down it would just make her worse.
Jacob: hey Embry told me that was a myth that tea was the one that does that.
Edward: well Embry is a moron!
Jacob: hey don't insult Embry he's like my brother in fact he could be my brother!
Carlisle: now Jacob Edward calm down Jacob meant no harm to Bella or Emmett.
Rosalie: I want my husband back!
Virti: simmer down Rosalie!
(Rosalie crosses her arms and makes a "hmph noise")
Esme: Emmett and Bella are starting to scare everyone so please help them.
Virti: I’ll do what I can, bring them in next week.
Alice: excellent, oh I almost forgot. How's the baby?
Virti: there is no baby.
Alice: not yet.
Virti: what are you talking about?
Alice: you'll see
Virti: Damn it Alice! Tell me what baby?!
Esme: oh Alice just tell already.
Alice: no
Virti: fine I’ll see Rosalie on Tuesday the rest of you on next week, good-bye
All: bye
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Part One Here
Part TwoHere
