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 Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 1:01 pm
Theater 3
My favorite has been forgotten,
And been gone a long time.
Heard only by those people who
Wheeze and breathe fine wine.
Sticks of burning light flicker,
High up in the creamy nights sky,
Remind me of when I saw stars for the very first time.
The trees bend and twist calling,
Reaching for something they cannot find,
Deep with in the crevasses and fissures of my mind.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 7:34 pm
Wow, that was really good. Though the rhythm was a little weird at times, it still read well and had very good punctuation. I also like the imagery you used in this piece. I was wondering why the piece is titled 'Theater 3'- the title didn't seem to fit to me, but then again, there may be a reason behind it I'm just not understanding xd . Overall, very good piece!
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 11:27 am
when i was writing it i was sitting out side a theater, its name was theater 3 and i couldnt think of a better title for the poem.
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 5:26 pm
Ohhh, I see. I still think that a title more relevant would work better, but I guess that works too!
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 5:28 pm
Other than the rhythm, which is a bit odd, good job. -thumbs up- I like.
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