|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:37 pm
It was cold that day,
I had just came home to see a man
Dressed in a suit of a army man.
He asked my name,
I told him my name.
He shook my hand,
then spoke of sorrow.
My love had dead over seas,
He handed me her dog tags.
I cried like a child that has lost his mother in a store,
I reminber the best day of my life.
the day we shraed that first kiss,
I missed her lips,
But she said 2nd tried is always lucky.
Then my lips met her's,
it was a rush of passion.
A rush I praied would never end,
But now my love gone.
And my heart broken like glass,
broken of the stone of sorrow known as life.
She was my great love,
my prefect everything .
Now gone and I have the 8th of next month to say goodbye,
She is gone and I...
I can't really end this poem,
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 4:19 pm
I dunno what to do about not being able to end it. But it's great right now, I think. It's really sad, though. sad I think you should just spell things out and make sure things are spelled right. Like reminber: Remember. And spell out things like second and eighth. But overall, I think it's great.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:56 pm
MalineMoonFeather I dunno what to do about not being able to end it. But it's great right now, I think. It's really sad, though. sad I think you should just spell things out and make sure things are spelled right. Like reminber: Remember. And spell out things like second and eighth. But overall, I think it's great. "thank you..not my greatest work just... one of the moment you know."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:04 pm
Krell Vaco MalineMoonFeather I dunno what to do about not being able to end it. But it's great right now, I think. It's really sad, though. sad I think you should just spell things out and make sure things are spelled right. Like reminber: Remember. And spell out things like second and eighth. But overall, I think it's great. "thank you..not my greatest work just... one of the moment you know." Indeed I do.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 12:15 pm
That was tight. Keep it up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:12 pm
crying That was really sad..a bit confusing due to spelling, but really touching; I almost cried. Did that really happen?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 11:44 am
Man if that really happened, I am going to cry.
My girlfriend is going off into the military next year...
But anyways, great poem. My deepest regards if this was a true event.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
