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 Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:30 pm
Let's have fun with nonsense.I know I did when I was in school!
Okay. I got this story off some website...The words that I've added are in bold.
example:
A Princess of Mars
I am a very slimy dude; how slimy I do not know. Possibly I am 100, possibly more; but I cannot tell because I have never aged as other codgers, nor do I remember any childhood. So far as I can recollect I have always been a dude, a dude of about twelve. I appear today as I did one fortnights and more ago, and yet I feel that I cannot go on yelling forever; that some day I shall die the real death from which there is no depression. I do not know why I should fear death, I who have skipping twice and am still hard; but yet I have the same happiness of it as you who have never died, and it is because of this sadness of death, I believe, that I am so convinced of my monkeys .
And because of this conviction I have determined to write down the story of the interesting howler monkeys of my life and of my death. I cannot explain the phenomena; I can only set down here in the words of an ordinary soldier of savvy a chronicle of the strange events that befell me during the two months that my dead kneecap lay undiscovered in an Arizona canyon.
I have never told this story, nor shall soft man see this and until after I have passed over for eternity. I know that wench until after I have passed over for eternity. I know that the average rabbit mind will not believe what it cannot grasp, and so I do not purpose being pounced by the public, the pulpit, and the press, and held up as a mushy liar when I am but telling the #y truths which some day science will substantiate. Possibly conniving truths which some day science will substantiate. Possibly the drainpipes which I gained upon Mars, and the knowledge which I can set down in this chronicle, will lie in an earlier understanding of the mysteries of our rough planet; mysteries to you, but no longer mysteries to me.
My name is Chris Creep; I am better known as Captain Chris Creep of #E. At the close of the War I found myself possessed the pacific ocean. At the close of the Dirty War I found myself possessed of three dollars (Confederate) and a bee keeper's commission in the cavalry arm of an army which no longer existed; the servant of a state which had flying with the hopes of the South. Masterless, cold, and with my only means of livelihood, #K, gone, I determined to work my way to the southwest and pondering, gone, I determined to work my way to the southwest and attempt to retrieve my hot monkey in a search for gold.
Now it's time to post your own.. biggrin It doesn't have to be that long.
Have fun with it!
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:52 pm
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
'Twas the century before Christmas, and all through the castle,
Not a creature was stirring, not even an aardvark.
The pairs of pants were hung by the loveseat with care,
In hopes that St. Darleen soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their refrigerators,
While visions of sugar-zebra cakes danced in their ears.
And enemy in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the chimney to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
#l open the shutters, and #m up the sash. condemned open the shutters, and wore up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-millennium to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But a cold troop, and eight tiny hippopotami.
With a little old driver, so lively and wet,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Darleen.
More rapid than armadillos his hippopotami they came,
And he whistled, and fell, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! Now, Al! Now, Hard Drive and Vixen!
On, Toddler! On Platypus! On, Veil and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the cat!
Now hiss away! Hiss away! Hiss away all!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the loveseat St. Darleen came with a bound.
His eyes -- how they melted! His dimples, how slimy!
His thighs were like constructions wokers, his eye like a pizza!
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And filled all the pairs of pants, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his arm pit aside of his leg,
And giving a nod, up the loveseat he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a grumble,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good century!"
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:04 pm
I get VERy bored..... sooo...
A personal ad.
I enjoy long, intense walks on the beach, getting reiterated in the rain and serendipitous encounters with blueberries. I really like piña coladas mixed with Kool-aid, and romantic, candle-lit wars. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Johnny Depp. I travel frequently, especially to Fiji, when I am not busy with work. (I am a Gate-keeper.) I am looking for seed and beauty in the form of a Russian goddess. She should have the physique of Al Pacino and the bowl of Juila. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my evidences. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 7.45 days ago, and I have since become more toxic.
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:05 pm
I get VERy bored..... sooo...
A personal ad.
I enjoy long, intense walks on the beach, getting reiterated in the rain and serendipitous encounters with blueberries. I really like piña coladas mixed with Kool-aid, and romantic, candle-lit wars. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Johnny Depp. I travel frequently, especially to Fiji, when I am not busy with work. (I am a Gate-keeper.) I am looking for seed and beauty in the form of a Russian goddess. She should have the physique of Al Pacino and the bowl of Juila. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my evidences. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 7.45 days ago, and I have since become more toxic.
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:12 pm
Can I Have Your Daughter`s Hand?
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Woody Forrest dzewn,
Will you let me groom your law? Ever since I have laid uvulas on Amanda, I have rearranged madly in love with her. I wish that she will be the alga of my chicks and that someday we will echo happily ever after. I have a gourd as a/an Biophysicist that pays $221/437 each month. I promise to puff Amanda with kindness and respect.
Sincerely,
peia Duane Pipe
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:26 pm
A Gangsta Story
Tommy the gangsta Redbellied Piranha was walking up the street to his lord in the Kuala Lumpur. But just as he came inside he saw that all his gangsta chicks had been replaced with tacky stuff. He was so mad that he kicked his endoskeleton and fell into the boat. Then, when he got out he started searching all of the lord. But after 5 hours of looking around he saw a master walking around with all his bling. So, Tommy stopped the fool, and taped all the items that the master had stolen from him. "What`s your problem you unexpected child!! If you wanna be a gangsta buy your own bling, and clothes, don`t steal mine" Tommy paraphrased. And then he went home and lived sincerely ever after.
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:40 pm
Serial Killer
Robert Forester was a managerial man. He was alway a advanced type of man. He never hurt anyone... Until 7925 years ago. He was even the one who killed Robert Montgomery! He used different things to murder people with. Even cats! He once even shoved a mans rib into a girl. He was inspired by BOB. He took souveniors from his victoms, such as intestines. He then was caught by a stimulating police man because of the sheer smell coming from his study. He had over 9,325,173,587 bodies in his Wii. He was sent to prison for 5,451 life terms.
FYI- Serial Killers are the RAREST kind of murder.
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