I used to go through phases of being severely depressed... I never went to get it checked out though. I didn't want to admit to my parents that I couldn't cope.. they kind of think really highly of me, I didn't want to let them down. I still don't talk to them when I'm stressed about something as much as I should do.
A few times I found myself with a knife to my wrist, without even realising it. Most of the time I realised what I was doing on the brink of it, and stopped myself, for the sake of my sister. She doesn't deserve to go through anything alone like I felt I did.
The one time I didn't stop myself, the knife was blunt, thank goodness. I felt so pathetic at that moment, I just broke down crying and laughing at myself.
Nowadays, I feel like I can talk to people about things... I think that was my main problem; I felt I couldn't talk to anybody, because nobody would possibly understand what I meant.
I wrote
poetry to get it out, hoping that somebody would notice, but peoplewould just complement it. I still write poetry, but not as much, because I can talk to people now.
But anyone who's out there... you don't need to suffer alone, there are people around you who DO care. I think I started getting better when I realised that.
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