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 Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 6:22 pm
So, I've been going to my youth group for almost five years now. I know everyone's name, I sing on the worship team, etc.
In the old days I used to be the one who made the most sense but no one listened to because I was youngest.
And now that I'm pretty much one of the oldest there (we have a small youth group) I'm not too sure about wanting to stay there.
One reason why is, yes, I am one of the oldest kids there. Other reasons include the fact that I'm not really informed about anything that's going on (part of it is disorganization, the other is that people often rely on others to relay information. So I always get stuff at the very last minute(like, five minutes before the event) and second hand, or after the event has passed. Granted, most of the time I'm not able to attend, but I still never get told about it in the event that I might be able to.),
and the fact that no one there talks to me anymore, much less seem like they don't even really care whether I am there or not.
The only time they seem to really, really care if I'm there or not is if they need me to do something. -_-;; So at this point I kind of feel like I'm being used.
Everyone there also groups off into their own little cliques, which is not only annoying, but leaves me with only one, maybe two people to talk to. (Not that they're bad, I love the people I hang out with there. It just saddens me that I only have two people to hang with.)
So aside from their own 'groups', no one really knows eachother on a personal level. This resulting in several different things, but what really gets me is the fact that we're all supposed to love one another. When we're kind of not spending enough time with eachother as one large group to do so.
ANYWAY!!!
I'm not too happy with them. Granted, I realize part of it is probably my fault since I've been more than hesitant to really get to know the other people there, but at this point, I'm not too excited to.
I've really been asking myself- should I still attend this youth group? Am I really just someone they call on when they need help? Do they even care if I'm there?
Or am I just being paranoid and this is all my fault, and I'm looking to blame someone else?
Hence the need for advice.
Really guys, I'm stuck on this. It may be clear to you, I don't know, but I personally can't think straight on this one.
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 6:49 pm
No matter what church youth group you go to there will always be clicks. I know that when people are not really paying attention to the other people around them it isnt fun. I've been in that situation plenty of times ( i only had my sister). Church really isnt about the people that are attending there though its more about if your growing in the lord or not. So if you feel that you are growing you should stay.
Try not to worry about the people too much. I would tell you not to worry but i know thats harder to be done then just saying it. Pray about it and you will get an answer. Sometimes God just want you in a different place.
*hug* I hope it all works out for you
I will keep you in my prayers smile
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Salty the Rockstar Captain
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:08 pm
Ah the cliques. Some youth groups are better than others on this subject, but never perfect. (I went to a youth group once where the WHOLE youth group was one big clique. It was cool for them, but no one would let me in!)
I agree whole heartedly with S1ng3r, are you being fed? But I've advice of my own to add to it. Spend some real quality time in the Word sometime this week, pray about it and then wait and listen.
Weigh each choice and follow the peace. If you feel peace when you consider leaving, then go. But if it feels unsettled, and your mind is swamped with scenarios consider staying with your youth group.
Off subject--->
Z O M G ! You changed your username! I remember when you were considering it! What a surprise to see it take form. (erm. if words can take form.?.)
Look's good on you! I likey I likey.
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:49 pm
Sounds a lot like what was going on for me at my Youth group.
Being the oldest is never fun when you are, literally, the only older youth.
However, even just having a few friends sounds like something is going right for you there.
But, if you're still feeling distracted by the other youth's behavior, then perhaps you should consider leaving. If their antics are going to keep you from focusing on worshiping the Lord, then perhaps leaving would be the best.
I stopped attending my youth group when it became painfully clear that no one my age was going to be joining anytime soon.
I like the friends that I've made, but outside bystanders were giving me weird looks because of our significant age differences.
Oh well, I still attend that church and see my youth friends, I just decided that going to youth was no longer what I needed spiritually.
^_^
I hope whatever you decide works out for the best for you.
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Dementia][Praecox Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 12:55 pm
ya, cliques suck and alot of the time there's nothing u can do about it. but so far as i can tell theres nothing you can blame yourself with. not more than 4 months ago i was in not much diferrent of a situation than you. at that point i dicided that i could either accept it, get mad about it, or try to change it; what i did was make a change, and its not that hard. just be nice around people when ever you're passing by just be like 'hey what's up!!' ya'know, slap some hand(high5s) or tap some fists. pretty soon when your nice to them theyll be just as nice to you, different people will start wanting to talk to you. it helped that our youth pastor did some messages talking about why cliques arent good for a youth group but) all i can say is just be friendly, be nice, ask your youth pastor to talk about it. well thats all from me, Jesus Peace!
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 7:35 pm
If We Could Be Ourselves Just A Little Longer... We actually don't have a youth pastor at the moment. ^^;
And when our old youth pastor encouraged us to spend time with the people in the youth group we didn't know on a personal level, no one really talked to eachother other than 'nice weather, eh?' XP
Oh, and did I say I'm uberly NOT outgoing when it comes to stuff like this? The most I can do is blurt something out and sit/stand there in awkward silence when no one acknowledges/cares about it and doesn't respond.
But yeah, I'm really starting to see that pretty much everyone only calls on me when they have no one else to talk to, or when they need something from me.
And I do know that what I'm really supposed to be worrying about my relationship with God. And really, a youth group is like a mini-church: A collection of people with one common interest (God) who have come together to praise, worship, learn about, and fellowship with people who also love Him.
Anyway, thanks for your thoughts on the subject, guys. I still haven't really made up my mind yet, but I've given a little order to the many thoughts scrambled within my brain. XP
@Salty
Yay! X3 My second comment on my new name! It's a pain to type in sometimes, but I think it's worth it. ^^ & &
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 5:31 am
Have you talked to your Youth Leader? told the group how you feel..and try to organize things...sometimes you have to change things yourself..instead of waiting for someone else to do it...
But if it's still a problem...maybe you should join the older group gathering...ya know...for adults? Or become a youth leader yourself or his/her helper?
That's what happened to me in a way...i finished high school...and so i just came by sometimes and said hi and helped out. But then started to go to older groups...where people are on my level..and less cliques ^^;;
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 10:11 am
We don't have a youth leader/pastor, or an older group.
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Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:10 am
oh..that's odd...well...then who is in charge of things? who runs youth group? There's got to be someone who coordinates all of that...
i dono what to say then...in my church there's someone who runs youth group and has like...a lesson and stuff...^^;;
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Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:59 pm
Well, our youth pastor left last tuesday to go back to Chile. So we are currently without youth pastor. Not that we didn't have anyone before. ^^;
I honestly don't know who's going to be leading the youth group with a lesson right now, but we've been through it before.
Other than that we can usually take care of ourselves- running worship, games, etc. We just can't do... Youth pastor/leaderly things. XD
Not that this plays a part in determining whether or not I stay, it just makes it more complicated with no one to go to is all.
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Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:47 pm
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Reply
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