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 Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:32 am
Lately I have been more open minded about sexual relations. Now I think I can have sex with someone just by feeling an attraction for the person, or even if is a good friend, and not just in a sentimental relation. And to think I was raised with the thought that sex was for the marriage only, my ideals and way of thinking changed a lot. But I like to think as I do, something so special should not be controlled only by religious beliefs. Those things are wrong only if you think you are doing something wrong yourself, but with a clean conscience, I don't see anything wrong with that kind of sexual behavior.
What do you think?
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:02 pm
Well, this is a tough question. Loaded, I guess. Because a lot of it depends on personal experience, opinions, and what you were raised to believe.
My mother, for instance, was raised by a strict Catholic woman. So to her, sex is only for marriage, and only for procreation. My father, on the other hand, was raised Catholic as well. But his parents were a lot more laid back and he is someone who truly loves sex. (You can perhaps see why my parents are no longer together?)
So for me, this was always something complicated. Because I was raised mostly by my mum, being told that sex was special. Sex was just for marriage. Sex was dirty if it wasn't with your husband and you were making a baby.
Although I didn't always BELIEVE in what she told me, I was very quick to follow her rules, because I was never comfortable with my mother and I didn't want to discuss it anymore than was necessary.
Now I'm 21 and I live on my own. And my behavior and attitudes toward sex have changed A LOT.
Although I've only had three partners, and one of them was my fiance at the time, I've come to see sex as something that feels good, not exactly something reserved only for marriage.
I'm not saying you should do it with everyone. You shouldn't. And you really DO need to be careful. Because not only could you end up a parent, but you could also contract STDs from unclean partners.
However, if you TRUST a person, and you truly feel that you want to do it, I see nothing wrong with that. Make sure you don't start sleeping around with everyone you know. Haha. But how you have sex, and how you feel about it should definitely NOT be strictly ruled by religion. Perhaps I'm a little biased, since I'm not religious at all. But let me tell you a little story...
Two years ago I was in the best relationship of my life. I had everything. He was cute, he was smart, he was going places. We were engaged, and happy. Sure, we had our problems, but we loved each other and we knew what we wanted out of life.
Because of my mother's nosiness, and HIS strong religious beliefs, we never did have sex. We were together for two years, and as much as we both wanted it, we refrained. He kept saying that it was supposed to be saved for marriage, and I kept saying that my mother would catch us and we'd be dead...
Two years ago we broke up, because we were both frustrated, unhappy, and in a situation we didn't know how to get out of. I've had a lot of time to think about it, and I'll be completely honest with you. I firmly believe that if we had slept together, we would never have broken up. I'm not saying that in the sense of 'He left me because I wouldn't have sex with him'. Because he didn't. I'm saying that since I've started having sex, I've realized that it lowers your stress levels, helps you feel closer to the person you're with, makes you feel good, and puts some things into perspective.
And I'm SURE that if we had had sex, we would have felt a lot better about each other, and a lot of the stress in our lives would have diminished. Instead, it's been two years and I'm still having dreams about him every week. I miss him like hell, and I still feel as though the wound is new...
So, no, I'm not suggesting that you go out and sleep around. But I guess what I AM trying to say is that you shouldn't do something (or NOT do something) just because someone else, or some religion, tells you it's wrong. Do what YOU feel is the thing to do.
And by the way, I'm sorry my post is SO very long. Sometimes when I get to talking about stuff, I can't stop myself. xp Also keep in mind that this is one person's opinion, and you don't have to listen to a single word I've said here. Haha.
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Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:02 pm
Like she said, sex should not be ruled by religion. You must do it if you really feel that the person is special for you. ^^
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 7:23 am
◦◦◦◦◦◦ᴀ ᴘᴇᴚ-◦◦◦◦◦◦ As long as you're either open with your partner about it, or don't do that sort of thing during a relationship, then it seems fine to me. I personally can't imagine sleeping with someone I wasn't in love with, because a huge part of sex to me is about the feelings I have for my partner. The important thing is to not hurt others with your actions. [Oops, I think I got the wrong idea from your post. Are we discussing religion and sex? I thought we were discussing sleeping with/carrying on sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time.] ◦◦◦◦◦◦-ᴦᴇᴐᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴐн.◦◦◦◦◦◦
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:56 am
Miss Nicolette Strange ◦◦◦◦◦◦ᴀ ᴘᴇᴚ-◦◦◦◦◦◦As long as you're either open with your partner about it, or don't do that sort of thing during a relationship, then it seems fine to me. I personally can't imagine sleeping with someone I wasn't in love with, because a huge part of sex to me is about the feelings I have for my partner. The important thing is to not hurt others with your actions. [Oops, I think I got the wrong idea from your post. Are we discussing religion and sex? I thought we were discussing sleeping with/carrying on sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time.] ◦◦◦◦◦◦-ᴦᴇᴐᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴐн.◦◦◦◦◦◦ No, I just mentioned religion, but is not about it. And yes, I agree that as long as it don't hurt anyone, and you don't do it with a different persons in short periods of time is ok.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 4:25 pm
In a very dark time of my life, I resorted to that sort of relationship.
I was neglected...and I just wanted to be wanted.
I figured it was ok...we were both hurt from previous relationships and just
indulged in each other I guess. But after a while..I wanted it to be
more than just a physical thing.I was tired of us just using each other.
He didn't want that.
I just ended up hurting myself.
I'll never do that again that's for sure.
Lesson learned.
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:05 pm
Sex should be with a person you care about. Religion, gender, sexuality, race, nationality, none of that should matter in the end.
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Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 3:28 pm
I'm not searching for serious relations at the moment, but I enjoy been with my best friend, and yes, she is a girl.
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