something to think about....

[morphingbutterfly]

ok...being the odd butterfly that i am....i have a very active mind...and a lot of times i think things that most wouldnt....i often come up with scenerios and i literally cant sleep for thinking about them....so i am gonna start this thread....this will kinda be a personal place for me to put these ideas and thoughts...and considering that i trust all of you purkles...i would love to hear your thoughts on any or all of the things i put here....

before i start any of them..please let me know if this is ok to do....i greatly respect all of you and would not want to upset anyone....once i get some oks i will put the first one up....  

[MysticfawN]

I'm all for this group being a free and open-minded place where we can safely talk about any topic, even the ones forbidden by some other sites. I'm a little unsure what kind of ideas and thoughts you were thinking of using this thread for, whether anything from story ideas? To what-if political scenarios? To deep-profound questions about the universe? Can you give me some examples? No matter what, I'm in support of this, but I have no idea what general ideas you're thinking of! lol  

[GigglyBipper]

Eeeeeeeeep!!

"What-if"s keep me awake many times too!

I notice the soil for "what-if"s to grow in has become much more fertile for them to grow since I turned into a momster.

I will listen!

And yer not odd! Everyone knows Purkles are even!  

[WickedPlum]

I say go for it! Even if it winds up just kind of being your own personal little soapbox, I think it's a fine idea. One of the things that's so great about this group is that we really are pretty non-judgmental.  

[morphingbutterfly]

well fawn..a lot of times it ranges...you will see few political type scenerios...poliitics is not something i am very good at....but they are more like daily life...relationship....and what ifs.......now i must admit that some will be based on my past experiences....but not all....let me see if i can give you an example...i will post it seperate from this....

i will also number them...that way when we answer me might could put that number up there so all know which one is being answered....that is in case someone decides to post more then one....did that make sense?  

[morphingbutterfly]

scenerio #1

a couple...while together everything kinda falls into place...jobs, money issues, family matters..that kinda thing...they split up and both of their worlds fall apart...nothing goes right and lose a lot...one ends up in jail and having to go to court...losing job.....well they start talking again and start to make amends and everything starts to pick back up for the both of them....no jail cause case is thrown out...finding job again...finding a place to live...it all just starts running smooth again....then a breakup accures again and again it all falls apart....

now.....is it possible that they are destined to be together....looking at how when they are together they are strong but seperated they arent....what are your thoughts  

[WickedPlum]

Hmmmm, this is a tough one. I would not necessarily say they are meant to be together, but that individually neither has developed the proper coping skills to allow them to handle life's problems alone. I think it's more of a case of each feeling more at ease and confident with them self and life when not alone--essentially any partner would allow the individual to be stronger.  

[MysticfawN]

Often it's clear when someone's in a relationship that they're actually worse for the wear, but they won't admit it because they're so sure they're "meant to be" and they don't realize they're better off OUT of the relationship. This is the other side of the coin, where they appear to be worse off without each other, and more stable together, but I like the possibility Plum brought up, that it's not necessarily the match up that's making them more stable, but just being in a relationship, and not having the individual coping skills alone.

I would ask, why did they break up in the first place? And the second time? Was it a problem that can be worked through, or that one of them needs to get into a different mindset before that can happen? Or something they're going to keep encountering again and again?

Good scenarios. They sound like the beginnings of a novel.  

[morphingbutterfly]

scenerio #2

your fiance left you for another woman...time has passed and you get along with your ex...you even get along with the woman he is with...they decide to tie the knot and invite you to the wedding...

in your mind you are thinking....why invite me i dont want to see you marry the woman you left me for....but on the other hand you arent wanting to be rude....what would you do

i will go ahead and tell you yes this is about me....and i have spent the past 2 months thinking and debating on the situation.....yall know i have a messed up life...lol sweatdrop  

[GigglyBipper]

For scenerio #2 .. I don't imagine I would want to go, were I you. That is my opinion.

I would prefer to go to the movies, or stay home and do something and not think too much about it, but then again, I can't understand how you could be friendly with "her", then again, I don't know how she was brought into the whole thing.

I cannot imagine they would consider it rude if you declined the invite! They actually might be sweating it all the way up to the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit.

You could always go and stand at the appropriate moment, adjust your chair and sit back down... LOL

Bottom line... do what YOU are comfortable with. Don't worry about hurting his or her feelings. We already know they did not spare yours.

**huggles the buttehfly**  

[EternalHearts]

As good as it is to see you Butterfly, it's sad to see all this happening to you *HUGS*

I absolutely would NOT go, under any circumstances. You will always be curious about it, but I think curiosity is better than the potential hurt you're going to feel while there.  

[MysticfawN]

If you really don't WANT to go to the wedding, then don't. You're not obligated to. But if you truly feel the past is the past, you get along with your ex and his bride-to-be, and you don't have sore feelings or hurt feelings you think would get in the way, then it's ok to go and show that you're not sore about it. But if that's just a facade and you think you would feel too hurt by it and by being there, then don't think it's rude not to go. You're justified to stay away.  

[morphingbutterfly]

well he should be getting married today...i decided not to go....even tho i am able to freely talk to the both of them...i dont know...i just dont want to see it...watching him marry the woman he cheated on me with and left us for....its hard to explalin...  

[GigglyBipper]

There is no need to explain. I think most of us can understand.

**big hugs**  

[MysticfawN]

Agreed. There is no need to explain yourself. That would be too hard for most anybody to go through. *bigpurklehugs*