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 Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:01 pm
 Raven walked softly. She was getting a bit better at being on her own. She still loathed it though. Given what had happened to her, it wasnt surprising she didnt like being by herself. She was still incredibly jumpy. Being in an open area, such as this small meadow, wasnt so bad though. Seeing in all directions helped. No way to sneak up on her this way. She gave a soft sigh of relief.
Raven enjoyed the breeze, that blew threw her hair. She enjoyed the birds chirping to each other. She knew that somewhere, a crow was following her, her father didnt want her to get hurt again. But being watched by a bird, wasnt much protection, and she still flinched at strange winds. Unknown noises still made her duck and cover, and lords forbid if she found another Kitsu. She froze up around strangers, stuttered terribly, and tried to find a polite, yet quick way of fleeing.
For now, she wasnt going to let it get to her, too much. Even though her mind was determined, her body remained tense and alert. Always ready to flee at a moments notice she was.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 10:34 am
 Quin was feeling a little... lost.
Not the physical, I-don't-know-where-I-am lost. While that was technically true he could easily enough follow his own trail back until he found some familiar territory. It was a more metaphorical sort of lost. He'd found his lost brother, and the mother that they had all thought dead... his little sister Celeste was safe, in decent shelter, and he wouldn't have to worry about feeding her and there were plenty of other kitsusagi around for the playful femme to socialize with that Quin didn't have to worry about trying to harm her. But after spending his entire life looking after and guarding Celeste day and night he suddenly had all this free time... and he had no idea what to do with it. No idea where to even attempt to start. So he was basically just... wandering around, hoping something to do would stumble across him.
His pace was entirely nonchalant, absolutely nothing hurried or even focused on anything to be seen in his posture. He was as purposeless as he was directionless, and the droop in his ears and the slight shuffling of his feet did hint at his somewhat despondent mood. He certainly didn't look... perky. But he wasn't angry, either, and despite all his floof and size he looked like a confused kid more than anything with the way he was wandering around. In a lot of ways he still was.
He shuffled his way out into a small meadow a bit, not really even bothering to glance around. He sniffed a bit at a late summer flower before sighing and flopping his large self down on the ground rather un-gracefully.
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 11:00 pm
A noise.
Raven tensed up, it took all her willpower to fight her natural instinct to run. Her heart pounded in chest so loud, she could swear anyone within a mile radius could hear her. Turning around, she surveyed the area, to find the source of the noise she heard. Standing out like a giraffe amongst cows, she saw Quin. Being various colors of orange and yellow, combined with black sky and stars, he didnt exactly fit into the foliage around him.
There was something about him though. He was the same size and shape as one she lives with, who was mostly just fur and mass. Was he the same?
She shook her head, and took several deep breaths to steady her poor, beating heart. She folded her wings against her black robe, and padded, ever so lightly, towards the flopped down Quin.
Clearing her throat, she softly called out "H-h-hello?" Being nervous, her stammer returned. Raven wasnt exactly a small female either, she wasnt as big as her other sisters, but she could hold her own, if only she wernt so....meek. Everything about her posture, showed clearly she was terrified to approach Quin. Her only ray of solace was she was confident she could at least out fly him, if he was violent.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:34 pm
Quin was lost in his own thoughts, or lack of them, so Raven actually went unnoticed until her hesitant greeting reached his ears. His body jerked slightly in startlement, not quite what one would actually call "jumping in suprise", and he lifted his head with his ears straight up as he looked toward the source of the sound.
Seeing Raven's obvious fear of him gave a twist to a little dagger deep in his heart and he immediately did his best to hunker down. He didn't get very far, seeing as he was quite simply big, and he was already laying down. "Oh. Hi. Sorry, did I interrupt something? I didn't mean to barge in, I wasn't really paying attention..."
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 5:26 pm
Seeing how he reacted to her fear, made Raven relax. He didnt take advantage of it, he didnt use it to his gain. He made himself less threatening. For a second there, she could swear that a brief flash of heartache pass through his eyes.
"No, you d-didnt interrupt anything...i just.." she trailed off, she didnt need to always introduce herself as the abused scared female. "M-m-my names Raven....whats y-y-yours?" Her stammer was still there, which ment she was still nervous. It wasnt thick, but it was still there.
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:20 am
Heartache indeed. Quin had his own issues with being attacked and abused... they were just a lot less noticable than Raven's behavior. His ear flicked when he caught her stammering, and equated that with her body language and general hesitancy. A very slight frown drifted onto his face. He knew those signs... and he didn't like the things it brought to mind.
He pulled his face out of the frown and slapped a small smile on before resting his fluffy head between his paws. "Mine's Quin. Bit of a play on my fur pattern... Mom had... has a silly sense of humor. I gotta say I'm glad she named me "Quin" rather than "Harley"..." His small smile drifted into a bit of a tentative grin. The information had drifted out unintended but all the same he hoped it might make her a bit more at ease. He didn't like it when people were scared of him...
"I, ah, you all right? Seem a littly jumpy. I don't bite, I promise." Well... not unless someone was attacking his loved ones. But that seemed about as likely with how Raven was acting as ice cream turning into gold.
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:54 pm
Raven's ears perked up again, slowly facing upright, as opposed to their previous position against her skull. Her haunted gaze, watched Quin, and softly smiled, she relaxed a bit. "Quin...thats a pretty name. Raven is a name my father remembered from his...Before" She said with a nod, her stammer wasnt as pronounced as earlier.
There was something about Quin, she didnt fear him, even though he was rather...bulky.
At his question, her ears swiveled, and lowered. For a brief moment, she looked like a small child, so scared and alone in the big wide world. The moment passed, and she looked at Quin again. "I...i'm t-t-erribly jumpy around those i dont know. I w-w-as attacked, a few month's back and i'm a-afraid its left me horribly paranoid and s-s-cared of my own shadow" The information, poured out of her. It was un-intentional. But as of late, its happened alot. It was a fact of life for her. She's mostly gotten over it, well, not really.
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:54 am
Toward most people Quin was about as fearsome as a big furry pillow. He had a few problems with his temper, but if he started feeling himself boil over he usually just went... elsewhere until he calmed down. It was if his loved ones were attacked, or he ran into someone who liked to hurt people just for kicks that he became dangerous. In situations like that, the offender might as well have walked into a bear's den.
The idea of "Before" was rather confusing to him... though the long time residents at the Place had attempted to explain it to him after he and Celeste had been brought in and settled. So though a mild look of confusion settled on his face after she mentioned it he didn't ask. He doubted she could explain any more than the others already had. The what of the concept was understandable it was just... really strange.
"Your name is pretty too. I never really understood why most people don't like the birds..." He didn't really have anywhere else to go with that, so he just sort of trailed off and listened as Raven explained herself. The frown drifted back onto his face and he once again forcibly replaced it. "It's... good you can talk about it, really. Holding that sort of thing in is... bad." His own past wasn't something he liked to talk about. Endless had started making friends, talking about it a bit. Celeste and their mother, Naneth, didn't seem to mind talking about it, though Celeste often grew quiet and scared if it remained a topic of conversation for very long. Quin told himself that maybe it wouldn't be so hard for him to talk about it if his own tales of his father weren't so much more... complicated than the rest of them.
"You're not the only one that's had that sort of thing happen..." The frown was back, but that was probably as close as he could come right now to admitting how very much he knew how Raven felt. "And I'm pretty sure your own shadow won't do anything to you. But I won't promise about anyone elses." There. A bit of a joke and a teasing tone and his smile was back. Maybe it would help both of them feel a bit better.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:10 pm
Raven, tilted her head to the side, watching Quin. He did everything he could, not to frighten her. And it reminded her of Kae'lic. The nightmare was large, but did his best to not be intimidating or scary. She respected that, and it made her feel more at ease. Raven's posture relaxed, and she took on a less frightened look, a small smile even danced across her painted maw.
She gave a soft nod, when he commented on it being good to talk about it. " It...was a bad thing that happened, but it would be even worse if i didnt share it with others, to prevent it from happening again, or to help someone through their own similar experiance." she gave a sad sort of smile, like she was trying to make the best of a terrible situation, and that she was doing it alone. She had friends and family who would be there for her, but she didnt want to bother them, they had their own lives to live.
Another soft smile, at his comment about shadows. "Well, as long you're shadow doesnt do anything, i think we should be ok for now." she nodded, and folded her wings against her robed back, her burnt amber tips crossed at her back.
Her pale blue painted face, made it look like she was always smiling and happy, but her eyes, her eyes were impossible to mask. They shone with vibrance and life, or they seemed deep as the ocean with sorrow and grief. So long as her eyes were open, she could never hide how she felt.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:20 pm
Quin's own eyes glowed with a soft silver light, and while it wasn't bright enough to mask his eyes completely the way it did for the smaller members of his family, it helped him to hide his own pain away. He didn't like to burden people with it, really... especially not the... major fact of the ending of his father's abusive tyranny. He'd never actually told Celeste what had happened... just that he'd made Kairn "go away". She'd never asked her big brother for more of an explanation than that.
"Help others with it? Well... I guess it would help to be able to talk to someone else who knew how it feels..." His expression drifted to one of pensive thought as he mulled it over, though her reply to his joke about the shadows drew him out of it and he grinned again. "Nah, I think my shadow's more fluff than I am." He looked down to poke at the object in question and it's slightly distorted appearance against both grass and earth.
He looked thoughtful again for a moment before looking back up from the shadow to Raven. "Do you feel like talking about it?..." There was something troubled in his expression, something he obviously wanted to say, or to ask, that he seemed equally hesitant to mention. He'd never really talked to someone else who'd been through the same sort of thing... even around his family. He mostly tried not to bring it up... Naneth tried to get her son to open up more than he was ready to yet... Celeste always wound up having a relapse of some sort, since she couldn't always remember "when" she was because of the damage it had done to her. And while Quin and Endless both wanted to reconnect and form some sort of brotherly bond... it was bizarre to look at one another and know, This is my brother, but also feel like a pair of complete strangers.
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:22 am
Raven watched Quin, a sincere smile playing on her face. By his previous comments, and his current mannerisms, she had an inclination, he had something he wanted to talk about. If her, speaking about her painful experiance, somehow helped him with his own scars, then she would gladly share what had happened. Well, not gladly, it still hurt her to speak of, but she'd get past that. She smiled again, watching him poke his shadow.
His question, caused her to take a deep breath, and hold it for a moment or two, while she pondered the question. "There are times when i wish i could just close my eyes and forget it ever happened" she sighed softly, exhaling her breath. "But i feel that would be wrong....i need to share. To remember what happened. To remember why...It was terrible...but part of me cant forget." She gave a sad sort of chuckle "That sounds a bit looney doesnt it? Not wanting to forget." she dropped her gaze, to the grass below her pale blue paws, and lightly pawed at it "I believe, that every experiance, good or bad, leaves a mark on us, in our heart and soul. And to deny that, would be wrong in some way. It would be like denying part of our heart...." she trailed off with a sort of shrug. She felt some need to explain, why she had the looney idea that she needed to remember.
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:52 am
"My mom..." Quin started, the paused, looking troubled. He seemed to shrug it off after a moment and went on. "My mom... she feels like that. She thinks it's better to remember, even when it hurts, because of what you learned, you can help people with, and it makes the good things that come after more precious. I think... she just treasures every memory she has, too. She was sick, for a long time, and the fever messed up her memories... she can't always remember the way things happened properly from one day to the next." He half-grinned, and half-grimaced. "I'm just glad she never forgot about us... if she'd forgotten me and my brother and sister I don't know if I could have taken that."
If he'd been standing Quin would have been shuffling his feet around self-consciously. As it was he continued pawing at his shadow out of a semi-nervous reflex. "The rest of my family will talk about that stuff, a bit at least, if they need to. I don't... I don't like to. It feels weird... we were all separated for a long time, 'cept me and my sister. Didn't even know the others were still alive, and I'm happy we're all together again, but Celeste has... episodes if she thinks about it too long, I don't like to do that to her. Mom keeps trying to get me to talk about more than I want to... and Endless. Well. We had a laugh over it, the other day, how weird it feels since we're brothers but we haven't seen or heard from eachother since we were little bitty kits and we don't really know eachother at all. Though I guess that in itself means we're a lot more alike than I'd have thought at first."
He grinned sheepishly. "Though... 's a little weird saying anything to you since I don't really know you, either, but it's not... that sort of weird. I... I dunno, does that make any sense?"
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Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 6:09 am
Raven stayed quiet, as Quin spoke about his mom, she could relate to wanting to remember, but, to forget entirely? A shudder coursed through her. She may be a stranger to her sisters, but she would never, never want to forget them. She was going to ask, if they'd taken her to a healer, but thought that would be in-appropreate at this time. "You cant forget whats in you're heart..." she said softy, a gentle-ness to her features.
A crow, circled overhead, and Raven's attention was briefly drawn upwords, she shot the bird a brief glance, and it lazily soared around a bit longer, before finding its way to the tree-line. Once more, her attention was on Quin, and his shadow-shuffling.
"Its...sort of like that with my family. Me and my dad are sort of...outcast from the family" she gave her own half-smile. It wasnt entirely true, but at times, it felt that way. "All of my other sisters are so close to each other. They go on adventures, they travel, they....know each other. I hardly know them at all...I havent seen them since long before my..attack. I dont even think they know.." her shoulders rolled. She tried not to let it bother her, that she was so unlike her sisters, but sometimes it did.
She returned his sheepish grin "I think...our similar past's give us common ground, and an unexpected comfort...So it makes it sortof easy to talk about it" she gave a slight nod "So...it does make sense, i guess" a light chuckle.
"its easier to talk to someone who wasnt there, but was in a similiar situation. If the person was there, chances are they might not want to talk about it...Its a strange system"
The wind, moved some brush behind her, and the female gave a nervous shudder, and an purely reflexive glance over her shoulder. Her body tensed, and her heart...sank. Would she ever be free from this constant paranoia? Would she ever just...relax and feel some-what safe? Raven turned back to Quin, her eyes nearly filled with tears, but she blinked them away. "s-sorry..." she said softly.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 2:02 pm
Quin nodded thoughtfully to her as she spoke, the things Raven was saying making a bit of sense on some level. "I guess there's also... knowing you can sort of... take a break from it, with someone else, where with family you sorta get stuck feeling like that's all they're going to think about and all they're gonna let you think about until they can make you "better"... and it doesn't work like that." His mother was a strong lady, she seemed to have truly overcome what had happened... she wanted the same for her kids, and he could understand that, but he just... wasn't ready yet. He'd spent so much time looking after Celeste that he'd never really taken time to deal with himself... and it was a slow process, at least for him.
One of his ears went up as he glanced over at Raven and really looked at her, rather than his sort of unfocused state that he had been looking over her in. "You should go see them... while they're still there to see, you should go see them. Maybe not... right now, you know, but sometime. Family is important... and I wouldn't want you to have to find out how much they mean too late to do anything about it. It really sucks."
She was actually kinda pretty when she started to relax a bit. Sure, she looked... unique, but Quin wasn't one to judge on appearances. He was more worried about the things that looked like normal people and wound up being monsters. After everything he'd been through he was definitely more concerned with behavior than appearance.
At the sound and Raven's reaction Quin sat up rather suddenly, both ears up in alert. Rather like a big guard dog. After her murmured apology he ducked back down, and very gently bumped the underside of her chin with his nose. "You don't have to be sorry for feeling how you do. Just figure out why it makes you feel like that and start trying to get a handle on it. Avoiding the feelings doesn't make them go away, after all." He sat back up a bit so he could keep a more watchful eye on their surroundings. "Besides... anything dumb enough to come after you with me here... I'll sit on." He grinned. It was kind of silly... but... also a decent threat at the same time. He was big, and for all his floof there was a lot of muscle on him. He certainly wasn't a lightweight.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 3:02 am
Raven, tilted her head slightly, and nodded softly at what Quin was saying. "Family tends to push more, with talking about it and helping..." It was easier to talk to a stranger, if things got too personal, you could just say you want to talk about something else. Family has a tendency of wanting to help to the point of smothering.
It would still be a long time before Raven was anywhere near 'overcoming' what happened. Right now, she was finding a way to cope with it, and she was still trying to understand it. Part of her knew it was random and unexplainable, but part of her still yearned for an explanation.
A brief look of pain flashed over her face, as he mentioned she should see her family. She knew shat he said was true, she also gathered there was more beneath the surface of what he said, but she didnt want to pry. One thing at a time. "I want to see them but...part of me doesnt feel strong enough to go alone. Its almost like..i'm afraid to see them again.." another flicker passed her face, this one of shame. She'd come a ways since the attack, but in some area's, she was still stuck in that moment. Part of her, still cowered in the underbrush, waiting for the next strike to come.
She blushed slightly, as he lightly bumped her chin with his nose. Something surprising happened. Raven didnt wince. She didnt flinch, or try and shy away from the touch. No one but her father, or her saviors had been able to get close like that, without her flinching out of habit or fear. She looked at Quin, a puzzled look on her face, and then she smiled slowly, which grew into an actual, bright smile. And then, she laughed, her smile still remained. "You wont let anything happen, will you" it was a whisper, and it wasnt so much a question, as it was a statement. She felt....safe, around Quin.
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