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 Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:53 am
((If this is in the wrong section please move or delete if necessary just let me know please, thank you in advance.))
By nature I am a Master or Dom. I am also a switch. I've had a Master now for a few months. However since mid-june we've been too busy to see each other. Myself with work, him with work and family. Some background, he has an autistic son and has chosen to be a full time caregiver to his son whom he loves more than anything which I understand, I've actually spent time with Master's son. However he is polyamourous which means loving more than one person. (NOT polygamy, thats having more than one wife there is a difference) So I know I'm not first in line which I've come to understand.
What has been bothering me is that since The end of July and throughout august I've been the one to contact him, I've been the one sending info keeping in touch. He has kept saying he'll call me and doesn't. I keep thinking things came up, he forgot etc. Its getting annoying and frustrating. Am I on punishment? Has he forgotten about me or abandoned me? I WANT TO KNOW. I've sent out a polite e-mail, message on instant messenger and called and left a voicemail all of them polite stressing how I want to make time and at least catch up and talk with you, we really need to talk because I have no idea whats going on.
What should I do? Am I jumping to conclusions. I don't want to just walk away but I'm not going to put up with this, if I'm being punished its nice to know I'm being punished because then I know what I did wrong!
Thanks at least for reading all of this.
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 6:01 pm
Don't stress. more than likely he has become busy with something else. he will probably get back to you as soon as he can.I wouldn't worry about it. if he was punishing you, he'd let you know, and if he forgot you, then that's his loss. you shouldn't let that bother you. I say wait a while longer and if he doesn't come back, find a new one.
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:47 am
Updates:
his son has been moved to full time school which is good but the whole fact that its a HUGE adjustment for the poor boy.
He's been sick from moving and unpacking having medication issues (which he informed me about but didn't think it would be a big issues)
And apparently he's had his license temporarily suspended until he can pay fines. Something about an old warrant that came up in the system etc. Basically a bunch of texas state law stupidity. (yes it really is)
And the fact that setting up the new house phone has been a pain thus the lack of contact. HOWEVER his whole tone of voice and demeanor over the phone was a put off to me....I'm still suspicious yet trying to give him the benefit of the doubt....
IT doesn't help I have a fear of abandonment and trust issues either from previous friends or people before him in the bdsm community
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 10:04 am
Sounds like he has a lot going on right now. I wouldn't blame him for not keeping in close contact. Give him some time to get settled. Don't read too much into his tone of voice from one phone call; he could have been tired or in the middle of dealing with bills and whatnot. If he is still distant even after he's settled, then ask him again what's going on.
No matter what happens, don't beat yourself up over it though. Like Youkai said, if he's trying to ditch you, it's his loss. In that case, you can move on and find someone better anyway. And if he's not trying to ditch you, then there's no reason to have trust issues.
Don't spend your whole life being distrustful. Sure, it can hurt to trust someone and be let down, but it's usually worth it. We often feel good when we can trust someone, and even if we're let down, it's often a great learning experience. But when we just let the suspicious feelings take over and are distrustful all the time, that never really feels good, and it can actually ruin some good relationships.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:47 pm
I agree with the others. See if things straighten themselves out and just wait a bit for him to collect himself. After an amount of time he is still absent and it is bothering you have a serious conversation with him.
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:17 am
And even if things don't move on, I'm sure you've learned plenty from him for the time you have had him as a Master. Your lives might just be going in separate directions, so it may be better for you to move on and find someone who's got less stuff keeping them separated from you... if it comes down to that. Though being only their pet (or slave, whichever term you prefer) does put you understandably lower on their list of priorities when considering their family and such, you don't deserve to be so low on the list that you're not a priority at all anymore. You deserve at least some attention from your Master, especially if you're as good and loyal as you seem to be.
But I'm not saying to jump to conclusions or leave him just yet. Things may settle down and return more to normal. As the others have said, wait it out. Give him time, and if things don't get better maybe you should start looking for a new Master. It's best to leave on good terms, though. Let him know how much you've enjoyed having him as a Master and how you hope to perhaps keep contact with him as just a friend in the BDSM community.
Sorry for focusing entirely on the negative, just trying to cover all the bases the others might not have fully covered. And give us some updates when things change!
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