Yea.... Im one of THEM.....Im a girl... I have a boyfriend.. i love him... but... im one of THEM. I also love of my closest friends...shes a girl....see? (im a freak crying )


And I want the best for her.... But when im away form her, i feel so lonely.... like im not worth crud.....i HAVE cut myself over it. I HAVE tried suicide... I HAVE repeatedly sliced up items in my room with my blood covered knife....

just because I know shes straight and Ill never ever get to be there like that for her..
i would protect her though. i would do ANYTHING for her... anything....
so.... i love her but i want to kill myself when im lonely... thats a little messed up dont you think? what should i do? should i just end it because i feel so stressed out about the whole damn thing or should i just go see a doctor? im NEVER going to tell her.... but it could help to know if i need professional help or not....so yea....help or deathhhh??? crying crying crying .....


also when you post, post a *hug* too? it makes me feel better....