I am 15. And a lot of things have happened to me in the past week that are probably going to be very confusing so try and follow along. I also am going to go into detail because thats the only way I can get my point across. I'll make the posts look pretty later.
Lets start with age 5 or 6-
Okay, around this age I was pretty much just starting school. My brother is four years older than me and he would always torture me by beating me up and such. So I always had bruises etc. But this time, my brother hit an all time low. He was just learning about the whole puberty stuff and wanted to try some stuff out. Well that person that had to be his guinea pig was me. This is really really personal and it is really hard to type right now. I've tried to forget about it and dont think about it a lot but every once in a while. Anyway he tried messing around with me (against my will but I didnt dare argue)
-Time Skip-
11-
My brother finally stopped doing what he was doing. Yes it lasted for five years. But it wasnt like a daily thing just every once in a while. Yes it was still very mentally and emotionally scarring me but its in the past now and like I said I dont think about it much. But I was starting to get an attitude. So I would talk back to my brother all the time. He started beating on me more and one time actually threw me into the wall. I got up from that and kicked him in the stomach and he started throwing punches. (where were my parents?!?! work...) Anyway. After that fight we got over it and then like a few weeks later got into another. I annoyed him so much that he actually started chasing me around the house. So I picked up a metal hanger and raised it to throw it at him across the room. He told me to do it and I did. I tripped trying to run from him and he picked up a hanger. He was about 3 inches behind me and I was in the fetal position. He threw the hanger and hit me square in the back and I screamed. (my parents were outside, he'd do things like this when they werent around)
12-
Ahh seventh grade. This was a loooong year. So there was a new girl in town. Me and my brother had still been having our little arguments but nothing durastic. Anyway this new girl Jenny became me and my friends' friend. I stayed the night at her house the day before Veterans day. She had an older brother who was 18. And he had a friend over who was 18 as well. Well Jenny was supposed to be babysitting these two kids but instead it was I who got stuck with them. And her brothers friend (austin) was upstairs with me. He was asking me all this stuff like 'how old are you' and blah blah blah. Well I didnt think anything of it and just kinda shrugged it off. Well after the kids went back to bed he caught me in a really awkward time. It was like four in the morning and I was really tired and really kinda dazed. Well we ended up having sex. I was too scared to tell him no because if my brother did what he did, then this guy who was 18 could do a lot more harm. It was like that for a while. I started actually not caring and hanging out with him a lot. Then, he got me into trouble. My parents found out I was hanging out with him and stuff and got onto my case about it. I rebelled and did it more. Of course what else is a pre-teen gonna do? So then he got me into trouble at school. He got me a gang flag (Crip to be exact) and my friend actually dared me to show our principal. Me being the idiot I am showed him and we got suspended for 3 days. I was grounded for four months afterward. Me and Austin stopped talking and havent talked but twice since.
13-
Eighth grade was better, I actually didnt get kicked out of school, or kicked off the sports team and I played football. Although I did manage to get my BF of like 4 months pissed at me. On thanksgiving night I met this guy Patrick. He was 17 at the time and I thought I really loved him over my BF Jacob, that I had at the time. So I broke up with Jacob for Patrick on New Years Eve of '07. My dog was very old, he was almost 13 and a very large German Shepherd. So on January 6, 2007 at 9:23 PM he died in our living room. That was/is very hard for me. I still think about it sometimes and cry. He was my life, I had, had him for 12/13 years. We were never apart except for when I was at school. I know for some people that doesnt seem like a big deal but it is for me. Anyway that night he died I called up Patrick and broke up with him. It was just too hard to juggle both at the moment.
14-
Around July 7th, almost two months after I turned 14 I met this guy. Daniel, I thought he was the most wonderful/thoughtful/amazing guy ever. Boy could I have been any more wrong? We dated for a month before he stopped calling me, stopped talking to me, stopped messaging me back. Turns out he cheated on me and went back to his ex Lisa. I was soooo pissed about this. I didnt talk to him for like 10 months. He tried to talk to me but I refused. Then I slipped back into his grip. And he pulled his s**t again. But never again will I speak or see him ever again. Around January I dated this guy Colton (who as of now I am with). So we dated, and then one horrible night at a dance we broke up. Why? because there was an awful rumor going around school that I said he raped me. YEAH RIGHT! People are so stupid. We had already had a few adults on our case about it and one of them almost took it to the cops. Whatever, thats stupid, I talked to her face to face and told her nothing happened and she was still gonna take it to the cops. I hate her by the way. Anyway he broke up with me because it could have gotten him into a lot of trouble. Even if it wasnt true. I was so hurt. I cried for like two weeks after and still thought of him every day. I cared about him so much, maybe I wasnt in love with him but I did care about him a lot. (still do) Anyway, then Patrick was back in my life as a BF (Well he never left it and we were on and off but we were mainly just friends) We dated in April of 08, then I broke up with him because there were cops snooping around and he was 18, and I was 14. So then in May I totally freaked on him. Told him that he was the only one I ever loved, the only one that ever treated me good. He didnt care, all this other time he was all obsessive (a little too much if I say so myself) and this time when I was calling out he didnt care.
15-
Patrick basically disappeared until July 5th. Then he reappeared the day my Gpa died and asked me out. We dated for a month and a half. Then I had to break up with him again. I didnt want to (Well I kinda did) but my mom was getting way to suspicious and she thinks hes too old for me to be dating him. For some reason he didnt understand why I broke up with him and was very angry with me. Well about 4 or 5 days ago I had Colton ask me out again. I had no reason to say no because my mom likes Colton and approves. So I said yes of course. (and plus I still had major feelings for him) Anyway, the day after me and Colton started dating my friend Thomas watched his dad bleed to death. Then Friday the 29th my other friend Nick shot himself. Patrick went to jail the 28th and called me the 29th about it. On top of all that, Patrick called me last night and bitched me out for having a BF and suposedly lieing to him. I never lied to him because he never asked me about having a BF and I hadnt even talked to him until Friday night which he only called to tell me that Nick shot himself and that he went to jail. All of which I already knew about. Anyway we got into a huge fight and he said he never wanted to talk or see me again. So I told him to hang up and he went off on me and so I went off right back, I dont take s**t from people. So this is what I told him 'I broke up with you because you dont have a life! You never will have anything in your life! You'll always just sit on your a** and do nothing! You'll never amount to nothing seems how you didnt finish high school and your to lazy to go back! So if you think I'm going to sit on my a** and wait for you to get your Effing life together thing again because I wont!' Harsh? maybe but I was/am really pissed about the fact he was calling me a liar and stuff... Thats pretty much all thats happened.
