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 Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:29 am
Adrian Monk: That's enough to make me LOL... out loud
(Talking about a suspect)
Disher: Right, Number Two: he's dead. He died in 1995. Number Three: He moved to Europe in the late 80s, so there's no record of him ever returning...
Stottlemeyer: Randy, excuse me, Sorry to interrupt you but can you read Number Two again?
Disher: Okey-doke. Uh, he's dead.
Stottlemeyer: Right, See I probably would have stopped reading after Number Two. In fact I would have read Number Two first.
Disher: You would've switched them?
Stottlemeyer: Yeah but that's just me and probably every other adult on the planet Earth.
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:17 am
Just about any moment with Randy makes me laugh. He's so puppy dog cute. Also, I suck at remembering things... OH WAIT!
Monk: Well, it's pretty obvious since you have birth-control pills.
Natalie: I can't believe you just said that in front of my daughter, do you have no people skills?!
Monk: Oh, um... Wait- did I say birth-control pills? I really meant they were... tic-tacs. Pink and green tic-tacs. But you can't take them! They're special... adult tic-tacs.
I probably messed most of what Monk said up, but like I said, I suck at remembering things.
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:00 pm
I remember that! Twas the first episode with Natalie, if I recall correctly.
Speaking of Natalie...
Julian Hodge: If you're going to rob me, you should bring a gun.
Natalie: Pardon me?
Julian Hodge: The blouse. It's a knock-off of one of my designs.
Natalie: Oh. It is? I didn't know.
Julian Hodge: Of course, that's not the real crime. The real crime is how you look in it.
---------------------------------------------------
Natalie: (after Hodge insults her) He's the guy.
Monk: Natalie, he's not even a suspect.
Natalie: Damn!
Monk: We have a system! It's a good system. There's an old saying: Don't… change… anything... ever.
Natalie: That's an old saying?
Monk: I've been saying it for years.
[Monk is in bed and Natalie brings him some soup.]
Monk: I see letters!
Natalie: It's alphabet soup.
Poor Stottlemeyer, has to put up with Randy's crackpot theories. XD
Disher: What about liposuction?
Stottlemeyer: What?
Disher: Liposuction, yeah! He… he lipo'd himself down to like, uh… I don't know, like 400 pounds. Down the elevator, across town… killed the judge.
Stottlemeyer: Well, how did he gain all the weight back?
[Long pause.]
Disher: Reverse liposuction.
Though sometimes Monk's give him a headache as well.
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Monk... are you sure? I mean, are you really sure? And don't give me any of that "ninety-five percent" crap.
Monk: Captain, I am one hundred percent sure… that she probably killed him.
Capt. Stottlemeyer: What does that mean?
Monk: Ninety-five percent.
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Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 12:56 pm
Ah, reverse liposuction. If only you were real.
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:19 pm
randy: science monk died i made a song *plays song*
sholmire: *stops him* how long is this song?
Randy: 14 verses.
shotlemire: Monk is alive. u look dissapointed.
Randy: yeah, but, this waz the best song i wrote.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 8:38 am
(after an incident at Ambrose's house)
Disher: Did he say anything?
Monk: He said Grrr.
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Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:09 pm
In the episode where Monk gets poisoned, and the doctor in the ER comes in to tell him the prognosis...
Dr.- "Well Mr. Monk, it doesn't look to good. First you'll experience some light-headedness, followed by vomiting, followed by death."
Monk-"Vomiting???"
Dr.- "Followed by death"
Monk-"Vomiting???"
Dr.-"Followed by death"
Monk- "VOMITING????"
Dr.-"Followed by death... Mr. Monk, are you hearing what i'm saying? That last part is very important..."
Natalie-"Sorry, he has a thing about vomiting."
Monk-"Can't we just skip the vomiting and go to the last part? OHHHH VOMITING!!!" lol rofl
Dr Bell-"so today on the list is bees and blenders"
Monk-"i hate bees.... and blenders... and especially bees in blenders...ugghhh"
"Adrian? Adrian, is that you? Adrian? ADRIAN? ADRIAN ADRIAN ADRIAN!!!!!"
"So what is your doctor's name?"
Monk looks around and sees a door "Dr. Door."
"Ya right i bet if you looked over at that bell over there you'd say his name was Dr. Bell!"
Natalie spits water all over him in shock... lol
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Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2010 10:04 am
From Mr. Monk and the Leper:
"Mr. Monk! Are you there?"
*long pause
Monk: (in a growly voice) "NOOO"
From Mr. Monk and the Wrong Man:
"Well, maybe you could just make out with him."
"Mr. Monk, I'm kind of choosy about who i make out with."
"You made out with a leper!"
"Yeah? Well that was different."
From Mr. monk and the Three Julies:
Monk: "That's one big handkerchief."
Captain Stottlemeyer: "That's a pair of underwear."
*these may not have been exactly quoted, but along these lines
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