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 Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:14 pm
I was asked by someone what was up and I responded with that I am missing my Fiancee because she is in Air Force basic training. He asked why I missed her so much, he said that one time his girlfriend went to the beach for a few weeks and he was fine the entire time she was gone. He said for me to suck it up and forget about it because it's not that hard.
Aside from beating his head in (which I really wanted to do) what would be a proper response to this?
Oh and 18 more days till she graduates...
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:40 pm
there isn't much you can say to that. I get it often, though my personal favorite is -
Me: my husband is going to deploy
them: oh I know how you feel, my cousin/friend/neighbor is over there/went over there a few years ago.
or
me: my husband is deploying for the second time
them: my buddy has deployed twice already its not that bad.
me: oh, what branch?
them: marines
me: oh, so the 6 month deployments
them: yeah, so its really not that long til you will see them
me: the army is full of real men, they go over there for 12-16 months
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:56 am
I don't understand why people think they need to try and empathize... Every situation is different and though there may be some similarities, there aren't enough to make me feel connected to that person... If anything it really annoys me that they think being away from their loved one for a few weeks yet being able to talk to them whenever they want is the same as what is going on with me...
Sorry but I needed to vent... it happened again... everyone seems to think this is nothing. Whereas I see this as the beginning of a long wait for her return... (she won't actually get a break until Christmas) And since it is not just my "buddy" but the one who is my entire life gone... *sighs* And I'm still new to this whole thing...
She's in Warrior Week this week and I worry about her everyday...
Once again sorry... I'm venting...
17 days till she graduates...
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:46 am
I still think you are worrying a bit more then is needed for this situation, yes, there is a very slim chance she can get hurt, but she is about as safe as it gets.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:09 pm
Not just worrying about her safety but how well she is doing. She got really sick before going to basic and wasn't able to prepare for it... she has never had any upper body strength... worried about her passing her physical exams...
I also worry about how she is doing mentally. I tore me apart to hear her crying in her phone calls... she never cries... she's only cried twice and both times were with just me... I know from her letters that she is getting stronger mentally and she's gotten into the routine but I still worry...
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:28 pm
If she has made it this far, then she will probably make it to the end.
Tony got some sickness that made his temperature go to like 104˚F, he passed out and woke up in an ice bath.
he still passed basic
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:55 pm
People will indefinitely compare their situation to yours tons of times. Its something you're going to have to get used to. People just don't think before they speak sometimes.
And, She'll definitely make it.
Mine had one more chance for some PT thing two days before graduation. (he was 2 push-ups and 3 seconds off or something like that) But he made it. She'll be fine.
Maybe you should take up a hobby so you don't worry about her all the time. It will be alright. But if she knows how worried you are it will stress her out too and you don't want her to be stressed out over you when theres a million other things she needs to focus on.
I know that sounds a little cold hearted, but you need to think about her and how your emotions are going to affect her.
I rarely tell my husband how upset I am over our situation. I let him know that it would be really nice if we had a house and that it would be great if I did make it before he left. But, I don't let him know that I've cried about it multiple times and freaked out. Its better for him because he has pre-deployment things he needs to be prepared for and he doesn't need to worry about how upset I am.
I hope I don't sound too mean, I'm really not trying to.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:04 pm
yeah, my husband tells me not to cry every time I start crying about the deployment. Men don't handle things the same way we do.
Doesn't help that Tony is semi excited to go.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:24 pm
I'm actually fine with the deployment. Surprisingly. I got super upset when he mentioned it about 2 months ago, but now I'm fine. I've come to grips with the fact that its his job and that there is nothing I can do to change it.
I'm more upset over things not working out like they were supposed to. We had a cute little plan of how things were going to work and that cute little plan is completely up in flames and burning away.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:30 pm
I'm having trouble with it, just because I'm use to him being here, next to me. It doesn't help that I don't really know anyone up here.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:40 pm
Yeah. Its a lot easier for me.. kind of. I don't see him every day, although I want to... BADLY.
Either way it sucks.
I haven't been hanging out with my friends or anything because I didn't want to get super attached to them before I left. I'm sure it seemed like I was being a mega b***h and blowing them off, but really, I just was trying to prepare myself. Now I don't know what I'm going to do.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:51 pm
I was lucky I talk to a lot of my friends online, but up here it kinda sucks not having friends and I suck at making friends.
So I have some friends at work, but not the kind I would hang out with.
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:02 am
I don't really do anything and since I moved to her town I have no friends here... I try to keep busy with work and such but in my off hours I'm always running around trying to find something to do and alot of useless stuff gets done... like my apartment that I keep reorganizing...
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:36 am
Thats why I started crocheting, to have something to do while i wait.
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:40 am
I wish I could find something like that... I really have no idea what to do though.
16 more days till she graduates...
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