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 Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 7:51 pm
This is my first attempt at writing something happy, so please be nice. Critical, but in a nice way.
I wrote it at 4 am while I had a high fever, and my boyfriend had been up most of the night, insisting on waiting on me hand and foot...until the little sweetheart fell asleep.
My love promised me a garden
In the country side.
A little piece of Eden,
In which we shall abide.
My love promised me a flower
In an earthen bed.
Fed by an April shower,
From soft clouds overhead.
Never promised money,
Never promised fame.
But his promise looks sunny
All the same.
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:05 pm
I don't know if I can really judge, but here goes.
It's not horribly creative or new, but the imagry is really create. There's good emotion in it and I can reallly picture everything you're talking about. A very enjoyable read.
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 3:09 am
i feel that poetry should have two things;
it should follow some observable form
and it should evoke or convey a mood.
you have done both!
i can feel the reassuring warmth of your voice.
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:31 pm
beaulolais i feel that poetry should have two things; it should follow some observable form and it should evoke or convey a mood. you have done both! i can feel the reassuring warmth of your voice. I agree 100%! It was inspiring and quite good!
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