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 Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:27 pm
OK, this a VERY long story, so I suggest that you get comfortable. All situated now? Good. Here it goes. I broke with my girlfriend last school year because she thought she was straight. A little while later it turns out she really wasn't. In her words as we were randomly cuddling at a party she threw during the summer "I really don't care what my sexual orientation is anymore."
And she now keeps doing things like "Maybe they'd be cuter if they were girls." (About these two boys who were musicians at our school.) And keeps mentioning times of when we were together. Getting really close to me ALL the time. Wants me to come over all the time, follows me everywhere and has even tried to kiss me a few times.
Now, I LOVE her and she's the only person that anything's ever felt right with and I REALLY don't think I could ever date/be with anyone but her.
So, my problem is: I have NO idea what to do. I was thinking about asking her why it never worked out between us before and see if maybe we can try again (there was more than just her thinking she was straight) but other than that I have NO idea what to do. So if anyone has any ideas, can you share them please?
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:34 pm
It seems to me like she's clinging to you because you are the only one that will stand still long enough for her to do so. Maybe take some time away from her. Go on a trip to visit an extended family member some where for a while. A cousin or aunt or grandma or some one you are comfortable with. go for a walk or something and just think in a different setting. after that just listen to your heart .
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 1:13 am
I'd be careful, if she doesn't care what her sexual orientation is anymore it sounds like she still hasn't figured that one out yet. You could take her back, but what if she changes her mind again?
I wonder, from your description, if she's just looking for someone to fill her lonliness? That's not love, and you stand a good chance of getting burned.
I can't say don't or do take her back, but do take the time to think about it carefully first. Especially about if you really love her?
One question, have you had sex? It sets up it's own pair bonding feelings that can be confused with love (in an ideal world we all fall in love and bond that way first, then the sex feelings act like extra glue to make the bond stronger), so be really careful if you've had sex to be sure you love her, and don't just remember the sexual feelings.
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:01 pm
We've come close to having sex but never actually did. I'm really not entirely sure what to do with this situation still. It's really confusing and is (luckily) making me think of things i never would have. D:
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:42 pm
Well, that's normal enough, everyone has to eventually figure things out, it's just your turn, he, he... ^_^
How about just being friends for now? Tell her outright that you like her and like having her around (it sounds like you do), but you don't get the impression she's figured out her gender preference yet (have you, absolutely for sure?), and you don't want to get more committed than that until she's absolutely sure. That would let you hang out with each other, but make it clear there is a limit to how close you are going to get. If she wants to go beyond that limit, she has to prove it. And if she decides she's into guys after all then you haven't gotten too close and hopefully it won't hurt, at least not too much.
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