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The Title explains it all... Though my parents are very caring, kind, etc, there's this one big obstacle that prevents them from being my ideal parents; they're too strict.
Uhm... I guess having a C is pretty bad, but you know, I'm only through half the Quarter and I think I could raise it up to at least a B-. But the first thing my father did, when I told him about the C, was scream at me.
Ohkay, I would've taken the scolding like a good girl and would have tried better, because I'm always willing to please my parents, I'd have done all that if only it wasn't for the fact that he never screams at my brother when he gets a C. He tells my brother to do a better job, that he'll do better next time, but what does he do to me? Scream.
W.T.F?! Is this fair?! Just because I'm the first born, I have to do better then my brother. I've been stressed all my Life, my parents have always reminded me that I must go to the most famous University in Korea, because I just had to be born as the first born of my father's side as well, that because they spent so much ******** money on me, they expect me to do better. But W.T.F?! They invested almost the same amount of money into my brother, my brother is the first son in my fathers family, shouldn't they be expecting the same from him as well? It's just so injust, its not fair.
Why is it always me? Because I've always achieved more then average when I was younger, since 1-8th grade?? But that doesn't necessarily mean that I would be doing fantastic work in High School as well, right? I mean, the work and homework just gets harder and harder, and I've been having a hard time, I've been stressed out; friends, work, family, everything. The only way to get this effing stress out of my systems is to eat and eat and surf the internet.
But my father is trying to take even that small privilege away from me as well now... Do they want to make me drown in the rising level of stress?! It's just not fair, I try to talk to them, but they don't listen to me, all they expect from me is good grades since they do everything else; such as feeding, shelter, clothes, lessons, all that crap...
I just don't know what to do... I sometimes feel like jumping off the building, but thats just pathetic since I'm running away from my problems... I'm scared of what the future holds for me... Since my parents have been planting itty-bitty bits of what might happen in the future in my brains, I've always feared the future. How could they do that?! Especially to a kid who was only like, what?? 7 years old!! They started doing this to me since I was in 3rd grade or something... My life has been nothing but stress since, I can't stand anymore of this... I tried to talk to a counseler when I was in 5th grade, but that sure as hell didn't work... (But I'm trying to get an appointment with the High School counseler soon)...
Crap, I think I strayed off the topic of 'Strict Parents'... But anyways... It'st just that... I'm so scared, I feel discouraged and I'm losing confidence in myself. I see everything pessimistically and I'm just... afraid that someday my parents will leave me and I'll be alone... I don't know, my feelings are all jumbled up now that I've said all this...

It's just I'm scared I'll be left alone, I don't want my parents to be disappointed, and I don't want to be a failure... I just want to lead a peaceful and stressless life... Is that too much I'm asking for?! burning_eyes ...

OMigosh. I totally understand where you're coming from. While I don't want to disappoint my mom, I don't want to disappoint myself either. I like to see straight A's on my report card and do what ever it takes to do that. I was in so much stress last year from all the classes that I actually broke out in eczema. That was terrible. I agree though, that your parents shouldn't scream at you. It won't help any. And not only that, I understand the unfairness going on with your little brother. Like me and my cousin(the boy that you know about) I was the oldest. I was...no, I AM expected to do better than him. They don't let me out, but they ALWAYS let him out. Once, I spoke against this, and they gave me the lame excuse of "Because you're a girl." How pathetic? So what? I AM a girl, sure. But I AM smarter than my cousin. I won't go off some where and get lost. I won't talk to strangers. And not only that, I am OLDER too. So shouldn't I be able to go out when I want? Gah! But we've strayed from your story...

As for counselors, I believe it might help. They can give to tips on how to relieve stress...not just by eating your fill((which I do too)). I don't have a counselor, but I use the internet and internet friends to help me out with my problems((since I'm kinda low on friends I know IRL)). Now that I think about it, that IS why I made this forum. ^^ Go Rants!

But anyways, I'm sure you'll do fine. It will get harder in high school, I assure you, but think of it this way: after after all this you're off to bigger and better things. Now that I think about it, I was confessing to my uncle about how I was jealous of the rights/privileges my cousin was getting and not me and he said, "You shouldn't get jealous. It's only going to hurt you." And he's right. But I can't help but see the unfairness of it all.

Isn't it I.E?

Anyways, I understand!!! I've NEVER slept over in my life. They never let me.

Why IS there a test in P.E?

... question

What?

Oh, lol.

I can't do that. We have computers and stuff but they block out all sites the students go on for "fun". They even disabled proxy sites. T.T

Will that work?

Works on my grandma.

@ Renji :: Thank you for trying to help, but that plan isn't going to work...
Asian parents expect their children to take care of them when they get older... Let's just say, we're responsibile for our parents now.
They've taken care of you for a long time, you need to repay them. And I won't be free of my parents when I go to college either... When I go back to Korea, my mom will follow me, since she's sick of living in Bangladesh for over 15 years... (Will be 19 years when I graduate ._.; wink
And the 'Trash' part?? He throws words at me that hurt my feelings at times... At these times, he treats me like I'm some kind of... study robot...

@ Cynn :: It always works Cx!!

I sound like I'm bad-mouthing my parents... I love them a lot; its just that I've had enough with their bickering.
Yesterday, I had a talk with my father... My brother's language arts grade went down to a C, and my father was encouraging my brother to do well... While, as for me, my C went up to a B-, and he ordered me off the computer to study some more...
I thought this unfair, so I brought the topic up during dinner, and we had a long talk. Seems that he has more expectations from me since I'm the older child and since they're used to me doing well in school and not causing any trouble...

That's exactly what I hate about Asian parents; they expect soo much from us, children, its just soo stressful ; o ;...

And when I think of stress, I think about my future... When I talk about the future, then I keep thinking that I'll become a failure, because I'm such... a screwed up person... ARGH!! burning_eyes