Welcome to Gaia! ::

Wannabe Mangaka

Back to Guilds

A close group of artist who strive to make their own manga, we learn from each other. 

Tags: manga, mangaka, artist, comic 

Reply Manga Library
HE, My Sword Goto Page: 1 2 3 4 [>] [»|]

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Malviin

PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:19 pm


User Image

Gio Marche is a relatively normal boy of 17. Though very timid, shy, and a bit of a wimp, he manages to get by one his own, ever since his parents' sudden deaths in a bus accident a year ago. He's the kind of person you pity, yet want to punch for being such a pushover.
But things are going to change drastically.
When a strange girl enters his dull world, he's suddenly thrown into a large battle against those who seek to gain the ultimate prize: A wish, for absolutely anything that the winner desires.
So, Gio is a competitor, right?
Not exactly...



It is a little hard to describe without giving away too much. So come see for yourself!

HE, My Sword



The story thus far:

Gio has introduced himself, already labeling himself and putting himself down. Poor Gio doesn't seem to have high self-esteem. But at the moment, he's trying to make sense of a very strange predicament that he's gotten himself into. Gio has suddenly found himself turned into a sword!
Who is the girl wielding him, and what exactly sparked this change?



The characters thus far:

Gio Marche: 17 years old, male. A boy who doesn't hold his own worth very high. He has already put himself down by using the words 'wimp' and 'otaku' to describe himself, even though he isn't a real hardcore anime fan. Gio has made some bad choices in life since he was in a gruesome bus accident, the source of his facial scar. A high school dropout, he works two part-time jobs to keep the apartment that he and his family lived in, trying to hang on to memories from peaceful times.
But Gio saw something that day, as he lay in the settling dust and wreckage of the bus, among the carnage of the passengers. Something that changed the way he views life, forever.
((Note: his name is pronounced 'Jee-oh'))

Ki: ? years old, female. A girl who has come to the living world in order to participate in a once-a-century competition. The winner of this fight against other competitors is given a wish, for anything their heart desires. Ki draws an unwilling Gio into her battles, using him as a weapon. Literally. She wields him as her sword. If they come out as the winners, both Ki and Gio will be granted a wish each.
Generally, nothing is known about Ki and her real past. Will she reveal some of her deepest, darkest secrets to her new partner? Including her real name?
((Note: her name is pronounced 'Kee'))
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:45 pm


holy s**t!
a novel idea!

in a manga?

Aud1o Blood


Malviin

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 5:26 pm


Aud1o Blood
holy s**t!
a novel idea!

in a manga?


o^^o
It really sounds that good?
Your response is making me happy. And more motivated. ^^
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:50 pm


turned into a sword?

haven't heard that one yet.

and i mean interesting, could be good.

Aud1o Blood


Malviin

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:59 pm


o^^o

Page two is out!
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 12:20 am


Sounds very interesting and your drawing style is nice^^.
It does make me think of Zero no Tsukaima a lil

mischievous_pixie
Crew


Malviin

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 7:18 am


mischievous_pixie
Sounds very interesting and your drawing style is nice^^.
It does make me think of Zero no Tsukaima a lil


I've never heard of that. o.o
What is it?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:08 pm


If Gio is a guy,why does he have *ahem* breasts in the second page? O.o

FoxBoy1


Malviin

PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:12 pm


FoxBoy1
If Gio is a guy,why does he have *ahem* breasts in the second page? O.o


lol, that's not Gio. That's Ki. Gio is the sword, you can see his face reflected in it.
PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 10:19 pm


FoxBoy1
If Gio is a guy,why does he have *ahem* breasts in the second page? O.o


Read the story then look at the picture.
Not: Look at the pictures and don't read the story.

So far so good. Art is crisp and clean, and everything is legible. Only one thing I can see that is wrong is pointing out his age in the beginning.

The box with the "Age 17, 'I swear!'" does not connect with the other boxes. Although it is a information box. The thing is... it is a flat box like the other boxes so it "implies" that this box is connected to the other box. You may want to change that.

Enki


Malviin

PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 10:46 pm


Enki
FoxBoy1
If Gio is a guy,why does he have *ahem* breasts in the second page? O.o


Read the story then look at the picture.
Not: Look at the pictures and don't read the story.

So far so good. Art is crisp and clean, and everything is legible. Only one thing I can see that is wrong is pointing out his age in the beginning.

The box with the "Age 17, 'I swear!'" does not connect with the other boxes. Although it is a information box. The thing is... it is a flat box like the other boxes so it "implies" that this box is connected to the other box. You may want to change that.


So, I just need to change it's position? Or do I need to reword things or something? Could you give me an example of what to do? I want to get this right...
Thanks! ^^
PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:07 pm


Here you go:

http://www.onemanga.com/Blazer_Drive/1/05/
See the position? And look at how it's all bubbly. It's doesn't connect with anything else. It's its own thing.

http://www.onemanga.com/Blazer_Drive/1/08/
This one is more of the same as yours. But look at how the format of the bubble box is. That what separates them. Not connect them.

The "Age 17" information has no point too. Why do we need to know his age for?

Enki


mischievous_pixie
Crew

PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:20 am


Zero no Tsukaima
It's an anime about a magic kind of world where a class has to summon their familiar (who will be with them for the rest of their lives to protect them etc) and the main person from the anime summons a human, a boy from a world kind of like ours.
And he's like, wth! =O

In the front page the boy doesn't really stand out, it's almost hard to notice him... sweatdrop , so be careful with that.
Maybe use some effect or something (toning or grey colouring) to almost literally point at him (like make everything a bit dark in the background except in the area around him)
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:19 pm


Enki
Here you go:

http://www.onemanga.com/Blazer_Drive/1/05/
See the position? And look at how it's all bubbly. It's doesn't connect with anything else. It's its own thing.

http://www.onemanga.com/Blazer_Drive/1/08/
This one is more of the same as yours. But look at how the format of the bubble box is. That what separates them. Not connect them.

The "Age 17" information has no point too. Why do we need to know his age for?


Oh, ok! Thanks! ^^

Malviin


Malviin

PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:21 pm


mischievous_pixie
Zero no Tsukaima
It's an anime about a magic kind of world where a class has to summon their familiar (who will be with them for the rest of their lives to protect them etc) and the main person from the anime summons a human, a boy from a world kind of like ours.
And he's like, wth! =O

In the front page the boy doesn't really stand out, it's almost hard to notice him... sweatdrop , so be careful with that.
Maybe use some effect or something (toning or grey colouring) to almost literally point at him (like make everything a bit dark in the background except in the area around him)


Doesn't sound very similar...

I'll definitely try to fiddle around with that. If not, I'll remember it for the future. ^^
Reply
Manga Library

Goto Page: 1 2 3 4 [>] [»|]
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum