Welcome to Gaia! ::

It's not that I can't deal with it. It's just that I want to make a positive start. For the past two months since the love of my life has left me, I've been twisting and turning, desperately looking for someone to take his place. Well, now I don't want to do that. I don't want someone to take his place. I want a want a boyfriend. I might go out with a girl, but that is not as likely, especially when I paint my nails and sorta am girly myself. So if there are any girls that want me, they'd have to accept that. Anyways, A little bit about myself.

- My name is Mark
- I live in North Augusta, South Carolina
- I don't care what my profile says, the birthday was accidently. I meant to put down September 25, 1990. So I am 18
- I like to write.
- I like to play games.
- I am very kind
- I can be picky with my food sometimes.
- I can also be picky with picking out my boyfriend. [gotta be my "type"] (I really try not to though; There's this one guy that I just can't force myself to like at school. Bless his heart)
- Though basically I just can't deal with immaturity. That's all there is to it. I don't know. I find it unattractive. Now, don't mistake it with laughing a lot and goofing off.

What I find immature
* making stupid noises constantly
* saying stupid stuff that doesn't make sense (Like: "I'm going to rape your kidney", quote from the famous boy who finds me beautiful.) If it hadn't been for the immaturity in the first place, I might've found it to be a more enjoyable relationship with him, but I don't.
* being a jerk to people for no good reason. (I usually am not even friends with these people)

Anyways, I guess I'll start making a journal so that anyone who "wants" to go out with me can maybe, I don't know, get a little insight first before they go delving into a relationship.

(P.S. I don't approve of online relationships, so if you're going for an online relationship, don't expect it to be serious. my ex, Carl, lives in Michigan, and I nearly died watching him suffer without our contact. He's the one that broke up with me, but I can't blame him. And now, I'm scared we won't even be able to be friends. He's got a girlfriend now, which saddens me. And I just want to get past it...I still love him and I want to end it.) A gaia online rel sounds a lil fun, if somewhat silly, though. surprised

I don't know...I've been very mean the past month and a half. and selfish. LMAO. But now I'm calming down a bit. My manic depression...dunno if it's going away or not, but at least it's..At least I'm getting used to it, I'll leave it at that.

didn't stop me from making a very dark poem in the poems section. Eh, did I get that math answer right? This week's?

I wrote two now biggrin I like both of them equally. I guess I'm pretty good at writing them now. At least, much better than I used to be.

LLol someone posted girlfriend.

Hey Mark.

Well I fully understand where your coming from, seeing as how I just got over that myself and all.

Serious pain, trust on that. I found venting on my word program most helpful. heh. Lets see...writing letters you never intead to send help. Mostly what I did was just type what I was feeling, no matter if it were good or bad. Then posting them on my myspace, but locking them. My 'person' was able to see them on my pagef...but not able to read them. Kinda like you know their there..but just can't see them. Sounds really dumb out loud, but makes perfect sense in my head.

well anyway....what i'm getting at is... if you want someone whose great at listening, or just someone to trade Angsty poems with...i'm more than happy to be there for you.

i know exactly how you feel and i feel the same...but at the same time i'm the only one who's there for myself...does that make sense?