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 Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 1:20 pm
I always think of summer as the greatest thing ever. xD Everything good happens in summer. I love autumn aswell, but I detese winter. It's too cold. So.. I wrote a short poem about the sad loss of summer until next year. =D
Summer's Last
There's a whisper on the air,
A tale of winter's chill-
As I lie here in the darkness,
Consumed by autumn's will.
Darkness looms around me,
Bare fingers clawing down,
The grim sigh of summer's last breath,
Lifeless all around.
I can smell it now beside me,
The scent of autumn's leave,
I can hear it now around me-
It's what everything believes.
There's no turning back from now,
Six more long moons of cold,
Just huddle 'round together,
Telling stories of old.
The trees are alight with fire,
As the last fading blossoms die,
The sun's reign is over now-
What I feel is not a lie.
So hold me still through winter's night
Remembering things that have past,
As the last leaf falls from a dieing tree-
This is my Summer's Last.
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Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 12:32 pm
The guild seems kind of slow. Any comments?
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:05 pm
I think its beautiful...I don't like using a lot of technical terms because it makes me sound too much like a teacher...buuut
The imagery was amazing and it gives such a real feelings of sadness. It makes me think it could be a huge metaphor for maybe a relationship dying, as in "the last leaf falling from a dieing tree" (or something..it won't let me read the actual text at the bottom). ANYWAYS...
I think it's wonderful, and kudos to you heart
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:48 pm
"yeah guild is really slowing... The writeing is good and well though out I think.
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:47 pm
Thanks for the comments guys. <3 It was not a metephor though, U4ic, though I can see how it would sound like that. xD I just love summer so much... -sigh-
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 2:18 pm
I thought it was really good. The imagery was great and it read really well. I also liked how you ended with a three line stanza instead of a four line stanza. There was nothing I saw which I didn't really like, except for a couple of grammatical errors (like autumns instead of autumn's). Great job!
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 5:59 pm
Cereah I thought it was really good. The imagery was great and it read really well. I also liked how you ended with a three line stanza instead of a four line stanza. There was nothing I saw which I didn't really like, except for a couple of grammatical errors (like autumns instead of autumn's). Great job! -jumps- Yey! <3 Thanks. I've never really gotten so many compliments on poetry before. I'll go fix some of the grammar stuff. Much thanks! <3
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 7:09 am
I think the poem is nice. I love it.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 7:11 am
Guardian of the Sky I think the poem is nice. I love it. Thankies very much. <3
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 7:20 am
Amyane Guardian of the Sky I think the poem is nice. I love it. Thankies very much. <3 you are welcome, wuill you go read mine. It is called Cry.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 9:23 am
Guardian of the Sky Amyane Guardian of the Sky I think the poem is nice. I love it. Thankies very much. <3 you are welcome, wuill you go read mine. It is called Cry. Sure. Not a problem. Is it a poem?
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:17 pm
Your poem was lovely. There were a couple places that the rhythm was just a tiny bit off, but it's hard to get a thought across in the right amount of syllables to keep the rhythm going properly, so no worries. The imagery was very nice and overall the emotion was portrayed wonderfully. You can really feel your love for summer and the sadness at the fading of the season. Good job!
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