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Every once and a while my husband hints at thinking that i sit on my ars all day. I respect my husband, he works too hard and way too much but that is his choice he doesn't have to. He could chose to delegate, he could choose to do things differently but he doesn't.
I am laid back. I need the house clean for my sanity and I need food 3xs a day. I need my son to be educated and all his physical needs met but if I set my priority on any given day to be researching a given subject and I don't get the laundry done and we eat what ever i can fix in 10 min or less then I do because I have a good reason.
I don't do that all the time but I do sometimes. And I'd like to think that when I do when my research is concluded and I get the house back into shape that all of us in our little family are better off.
Sometimes I need to get away from the monotony. I have lots of freedom yes. On the weekends 3xs in a month my son is at his father's house but that time is not time I get to spend how ever I'd like because I'd like to spend it with my son just hanging out doing what ever comes our way. I'd like to spend that time developing our family bonds with each other. But I do not decided when I have free time. I have things that will not get done if i don't do them when they're needed.
I do not get to see and enjoy my husband and sons company at the same time, on the rare occasion I do get to spend time with my husband.
When my husband wants to be playful and is not in a bad mood, is not exhausted I am exhausted.
I am a morning person, and by that i mean if i do not get time first thing in the morning quite early to bum around before I become the chef-teacher-maid-laundress-secretary-counselor-excreta I am not able to fulfill all these roles.
My husband on the other hand has such a hard time getting to sleep that the only time he sleeps solidly is in the mornings, when he has to go to work. By the time he comes home, 8:30 or later after being gone from 8:00 (its a shorter day than his 6am to 9pms were) and i have been doing what I need to I am worn out. He on the other hand needs an hour or two to decompress and then he's revving to go. By then I am unconscious.
I am tired of this situation. I want it all, to fulfill my sons rights upon me, my rights upon myself and my husbands as well.
I have told him over and over again that I need him to make the family the first priority. I am not asking for a lot. Just to spend time together, even for an hour each day where all three of us are all awake, and not about to fall unconscious from exhaustion if not full ready to be together as a family. and it would be nice if we could also squeeze in some together time each day where both of us are able to be attentive.
Just 30 min a day would work for me.
I am asking for 1.5 hours out of 24. He works for 12! that leaves on 6.5 hours to sleep, and decompress from the day. COME ONE THIS IS RETICULES! He works 6 days a week officially but in reality even on Saturdays he answers his phone for work, "runs over to the program" and does paper work.
He tells me "It's not my fault if the people at work refuse to use the on-call list" meaning that its not his fault that his employees, co-workers, clients and boss call him 24 hours a day 7 days a week instead of calling his assistant on his only day off.
I tell him if you answer your phone then they will call again. Yes emergencies arise but only once every few months on his day off.
It makes me mad! I have a right to have a companion! I don't have one all I have is a roommate that try's occasionally to have sex with me when I haven't had a conversation with him in WEEKS!
He provides for us physically very well but emotionally he does not. When is the last time the three of us did something together? Well I made him change a social appointment to a day were my son would be able to come and this was a social appointment so the women did one thing while the men did another, we're Muslim. What that means we only spent time together in the car, a whole 30 min! Before our 30 min in the car I can't remember the last time all three of us did something together even if it was watch TV!
O I am mad. And this keeps coming up. I tell i am sorry I don't want to have sex I have to do the laundry because at that moment the only thing i want to do is get what i need to get done and go to bed. I'd like to spend time with you but not having sex. Maybe if we just spent some time together I wouldn't feel like a stranger is groping my chest but other than this temper tantrum when's the last time you showed you value me?
I am important! I am to be valued! I do not feel valued when I am only addressed when there is a need from me.
What about that sounds fare?
My husband is not terrible, but he is not attentive. It's not like I don't verbally communicate that I am not able to balance being up at(6) a time I can take care of all thing but certain needs you express at night (not just sex) and your late night needs. I need to sleep.
By my husband working too much not delegating, not taking care of himself and his physical needs such a sleep he can not fulfill my rights upon him.
Would you want to have sex with someone you haven't talked to in weeks? You haven't bonded with in months? And you want me to just PUT OUT!
My emotional needs farrrrrr out weigh my need for sex. AAAARRRRRGGGGG!