Welcome to Gaia! ::

The Shoujo-Ai & Yuri Guild

Back to Guilds

 

Tags: girls, love, yuri, shoujo ai 

Reply ..The Arena.. ___________Fanart, Fanfiction, and Original Creations
[L] Lotus Union

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Korius 001

PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:30 pm


In case you don't know, I have been writing an original work that I hope dozens of shoujo-ai fans would enjoy. Here it the link!

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2589964/1/Lotus_Union

Story: In the forlorn peaceful kingdom of Arcadia, existed a particular pair children that shared a special bond with each other, which over time blossomed into love.

Aria: the kingdom's princess
Luciana: her childhood friend

Sadly their love must be kept secret due to the fact that it wouldn't be accepted within the royal family. As compensation, Luciana trained in the arts of swordplay and sorcery in an attempt to be the first female knight in the Kingdom.
Years later, Luciana became Arcadia's greatest mageknight as well as Aria's personal guard. As long as she could protect her from harm, she couldn't be anymore happier.
Until one day Aria is arranged to marry the Emperor of Aquarius Empire as form of peace. Luciana was crushed by this event and as result, she refused to see her beloved off and went into state of self-questioning.
Should she betray her Kingdom to pursue her love?
The answer becomes apparent when the Aquarius Empire staged a surprise attack, decimating the Kingdom. After surviving the attack, Luciana gears up and wages a rebellion against the Empire that had stolen her happiness and lover. She won't be alone in this quest though, along the way she will gain companions whose goals intertwine with her's.
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:05 am


Interesting stuff, Kor! Your tenses still keep changing, so watch out for that, but overall, it's full of action and stuff. I can't help but wonder if the stuff going on with Luciana is a result of her having the sword or her own innate power, but if it is Luciana, then I would have liked to know about it a bit earlier. Giving off dark aura and bloodlust isn't something that can really remain hidden.
The two new characters throw in an additional plot twist that I'm hoping we'll get to see more of, but I also want to see how Aria's doing at the current time. Everyone's talking about her, but we haven't really seen her since she left.
So, yesh. The action is totally over the top and such, which is awesome. Reminds me sort of of Final Fantasy: AC action wise, people defying gravity and having absurd amounts of strength and things. I'm a bit concerned that Luciana hasn't really been too hurt in her fights or showing a whole lot of exhaustion, but I am interested in finding out why Judgement wouldn't cut the valkyrie. Speaking of the valkyrie, I was a bit thrown off by you referring to her as such. If you say valkyrie, are you talking about, like, Valkyrie Profile type of valkyries, or generic monster valkyries, or like, old school Norse myth valkyries? The name summons up so many different types of images that I wasn't sure exactly what you were going for, describing her like that.
Also, I'm noticing Vlades has an awful lot of monster-type soldiers. What's up with that? Is his country the only one that has or uses monsters for stuff? I think I'd be a little bit sad about that if that was the case. Other countries should have different views or uses for the creatures if they exist in the land and whatnot.
Anyhoo! Those are my thoughts on the next chapter. Looking forward to the next one. ^_^

Althy


Korius 001

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 12:49 pm


Saying anything about Judgment will result in huge spoilers.
As for the valkyrie; they are high ranking female knights in this universe (but I did get a lot of inspiration from Valkyrie Profile), which seems strange for a sexist like Vlades to even have. There are going to be many sides to the Aquarius Empire.
As for Luciana's power, A lot of it comes from the sword, but she's powerful on her own. As I mentioned before, Luciana was already powerful, before she received judgment.
The monsters have a really big secret I can't reveal now.
As for countries, expect a load of unique races and lands, but most are under siege from Vlades' army.
Aria will actually get some screentime next chapter.
PostPosted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 10:25 am


Awesomeness. Will totally be looking forward to it then. ^_^ And thanks for the clarification and stuff....good to see stuff is coming together in the story.

Althy


Korius 001

PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:02 pm


The next chapter may take a while (I haven't even started yet.)
What with school and finals coming up...and my inability to remain focused on one thin-OH! A PENNY!!!

*runs over to get it*
PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:20 pm


LOL. Very well. I understand the stress of the finals coming up, even though mine aren't for a couple more weeks. Have fun, study hard, but don't burn out. GL, Kor!

Althy


Korius 001

PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:24 am


Thanks Athly!

Mine aren't for couple of weeks either, BUT I am getting a load of work dumped on me by my ENG Comp II class (I hate poetry, can never get the right message) so that's going to eat up a lot of my time.

On the positive side, I am getting time to structure my next chapter and how include other characters for a change (Luciana beating baddies up is good and all, but other people need let out some stress too.)
So...it's bad and good in their own ways.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:17 pm


Ah. that's awesome. i've been doing finals and putting off more writing and stuff. Yes. bad girl. Dunno. I have a headache, so it's hard to focus on anything at the time of this posting.... sweatdrop

Althy


Sundae Afternoone

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 6:15 am


fun premise! i love the girl x girl princess/female knight sort of dynamic.

i'll be eating this up for the rest of winter break. ;]
Reply
..The Arena.. ___________Fanart, Fanfiction, and Original Creations

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum