JEOC needs beta-readers.

[J-E-O-C]

He has a story he's working on, and it's one of those could be genius, could be horrible things. Its not work safe after chapter 1. I plan on putting chapter 1 up on here as bait. PM me with how you would like a copy if you want to read and review it. Literary criticism as well as personal feelings please.  

[J-E-O-C]

Reani’s Story


Chapter 1

Reani knocked at the door of her uncle’s office. Her hand was sweaty, her uncle scared her silly and now she was his ward. The nice police officer had explained that her parents had been killed by a drunk driver on the way home from dinner on their anniversary, though he had treated her as if she was still a baby. He explained that until the will was done going through the courts, her uncle was her guardian.

His gravely voice answered almost as soon as her hand rapped on the hard red oak door “Come on in, girl. Let us get this done so we can get on to more pleasurable matters.”

She did as she was bid and took a chair, which came almost to her ribcage, so small was she. Her attempt to get into the chair nearly spilled her out on the floor as her uncle commanded, “Wait until invited to take a seat! You must learn manners if you are to stay in my house.” She stood again, in front of the chair and squeaked “Sorry uncle. I forgot.”

Her uncle pondered this for a moment. “Apology accepted. You have been through quite a bit today. Don’t let it become a habit. Now, as you know, my house is quite large. You have two choices for which suite becomes yours. Do you want the upstairs guest suite, or the downstairs head maid’s suite?”

Reani was shocked; her uncle was being too nice. She only needed a bedroom and he was offering her own suite, even the upstairs guest suite, with 2 bedrooms and a small kitchenette it had housed her family comfortably. “Either would be fine.” She demurred.

“Then I shall have your things sent to the guest suite for now.” He decided, “You will not continue in public schools, as they are a waste of time. Instead, you will be attending Iventhorn Academy. You may, if you want after this term become a resident student there. Would you rather study Latin or Greek as your classical language this term? What were your classes covering as far as mathematics?”

“Classical language? Iventhorn Academy? What is this, uncle?” Reani asked, her world slowly crumbling. She loved PS Middle 9. “I like my school. Why should I change schools?”

“Because your education is insufficient at the public schools and Iventhorn is the most suitable school for you at this point. You need a classic language in order to be considered properly educated. Do you have your math book with you? May I see it?” Her uncle snapped off quickly. “Iventhorn is where most of the family has gone to school for generations. It is quite a bit better equipped to deal with girls than it was when I went there, but otherwise it is the same.”

“If I must take a language, why not one people still speak though? Wouldn’t that make more sense?” Reani asked, getting her math book out.

“Because spoken languages are less good at tying in with grammar and such.” He answered after a very short pause as he examined the proffered math text which he frowned at.
“Latin then uncle.” Reani decided.

“Good. Now, I shall have my driver take you home and I’ve left instructions for the head maid about you. Please make yourself comfortable and at home, and help the staff unpack your things.” He pressed a button. “Go wait for the driver in my secretaries offer please. And sit up front today.” Reani did as she was bid.

 

[Switters]

i'm trapped in a burning building

I'm getting a Lemony Snicket vibe.

but man, you have to see the view

 

[ShirleyAMOR]

Yeah, he defines orphan, nowadays.  

[J-E-O-C]

It's more of a girl who finds a place in a world hidden from most after a tragedy, with a lemon-y twist and maybe a bit of lime and some odd plot kinks in intention at least.  

[ynattirb73]

I like it so far