Tips, Tricks, & General Advice for **Dating & Flirting**

[elyzia]

"God sees everything," repeated Wilson.

There's no such thing as "mastering the art of dating &/or flirting". No matter how much you know, there's always more to know!

The greatest & most common concerns people have -- from puberty to dementia -- are related to boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses/fiancees/any sort of "lovers"... whether it be finding a significant other, a current relationship with a significant other, or losing a significant other... such "significant-other-related" issues are more common than any other issues. & advice about dating, flirting, & things of that nature is by far the most commonly desired advice. Perhaps research backs these claims up, perhaps it doesn't... I wouldn't be suprised if studies have never been conducted on how prominent dating & relationship issues are, because if they're not the most common issues people have, then, tell me, what the hell is?


... So, Dr. Kayla's here to provide you with a plethora of totally valid bits of advice & must-know info involving a) existent relationships, and b) flirting, casual dating, & other general important info for anybody looking for love to read & remember.

Share your advice pertaining to relationships, dates, hookups, love, etc. so others can learn & benefit from your knowledge! You're also invited to share any personal stories of failed relationships, or relationship successes! Don't worry, we won't judge you!


- - Pieces of Advice, etc. for Ongoing Relationships
 If your partner has a bad day, don’t try to fix it, & definitely don’t try to “reason with them”. Just try to listen with your full attention. Let them vent!
 Make sure you keep your own friends, interests, & activities… No matter how close you & your significant other are, maintaining your own life is crucial to a healthy relationship
 Even if it isn’t your favourite item in the closet, once a week or so where what he/she likes to see you in.
 Not excited about an upcoming event? If it’s important to your significant other, being upbeat is the best thing.
 Even if you’ve been together for a while, it’s great to have someone tell you that they love hearing your voice.
 Bothered by your significant other’s lack of style & fashion sense when it comes to clothes? The best way to help him dress better is to compliment what outfits work; don’t criticize their “fashion faux pas”.
 The secret to giving good gifts is listening closely during normal conversations; you’ll pick up good clues about your lover’s wishes [& not only when it comes to gift-wrapped items! wink ]
 Don’t be too shy to ask for “feedback” about your, you know… performance in the “physical affection” area wink Be brave! It’ll strengthen your bond! … Besides, men love a woman who knows what she wants “in the bedroom”, &, guys: women aren’t as repulsed by such conversations as you seem to think!
 “The Four A’s of a Healthy Relationship”: Attention, appreciation, attitude, & affection.
 Even if you’re crazy about eachother, give the relationship time to simmer and don’t rush things.
 If you find yourself giving unsolicited advice to your partner, it may suggest you don’t see them as an equal,
 Little good comes from either of you knowing each other’s password’s to anything online. Resist the temptation!


- - Pieces of Advice, etc. for Flirting, Dating, being uber-Appealing, & all that fun stuff

 Studies show both men & women find slow, deep speaking voices attractive.
 People find it hard to resist someone with a genuine smile who’s a good listener.
 Don’t waste time on people whose actions don’t match their words.
 Good posture makes you look appealing & confident.
 The key to flirting is to have fun with it, & not care too much about the outcome.
 Mind your manners with waitstaff during dates. Rudeness is a huge turn-off.
 Be specific when asking someone on a date so he or she will know what to wear.
 First date topics to avoid like the bubonic plague: Past relationships, health history, ideas on marriage, politics.
 Don’t wear the colour yellow on dates. Researchers say both men and women find it repellent. [Come on, don’t tell me that actually suprises you]
 Want to get noticed? Position yourself right in the center of the room.
 You only have three seconds to make a good first impression, so dress to impress!
 Flirting should happen mostly with body language, not with words..
 Too many compliments or trying too hard to be nice makes you seem desperate.
 Learn to accept compliments gracefully as well as give them.
 Dressing appropriately for your age makes you more attractive.
 The “three C’s of flirting”: be cool, confident, & charming.
 Good flirts always display a sense of curiosity about other people.
 If you sense good chemistry, don’t be afraid to make the first move. Your date will likely be relieved you did!
 To make your intentions clear when flirting, give at least three verbal or non-verbal clues.
 Show up on time. It shows that you’re responsible & trustworthy, as well as displays respect for yourself & your date.
 Don’t know how to get a conversation started? Wear or bring something that gives people a reason or excuse to talk to you. For example, a band tee-shirt!
 Good flirts are outward-focused. You can’t flirt effectively if you’re self-absorbed. Talking about yourself may be your favourite topic of conversation, but, as Dostoevsky noted, “everybody’s favourite thing to talk about is themselves”.
 Remember, what you say is often less important than how you say it.
 Don’t try too hard to match someone’s likes or dislikes. Express your own opinions. People rarely want to date a clone of themselves.
 There’s nothing wrong with giving someone a second chance, but don’t be so eager to give a third of forth.
 Think twice about trusting anyone with intimate photos or videos of you!
 You can’t force closure after a split. Closure only comes with time.
 Stop waiting for “the best” and try to be open to the idea of the “good enough”.
 You can find a date anywhere – waiting in line or walking your dog. Just be open.
 Signs that somebody’s listening well: appropriate nods, smiles, leaning forward.
 Scared of rejection? Ask yourself this – is living with uncertainty any better?
 Signs someone’s flirting with you: Eye contact, laughing, casual touching.


- - Cont.! (Added Jan. 30, '09)
-- The two most important rules of dating: 1) Get out & meet people, 2) make safety a priority.
-- Three to six months is generally enough time to determine if someone's a "keeper".
-- Smiling at & talking to everyone you meet is great practice for flirting.
-- It's okay to brag about your partner -- especially in front of them! It shows that you're truly proud of them.
-- Surrounding yourself with attractive members of the opposite sex makes YOU seem more desirable.
-- Be forewarned! Sociologists say a passionate first romance can make later relationships more difficult.
-- Leave your partner a hint of your perfume or cologne somewhere to remind them of the fun you have together wink
-- A new survery shows that 50& of young singles have dated a colleague; 70% say it was a bad idea.
-- Studies show that touching someone's arm when first approaching increases likelihood of connecting,
-- Be aware of what you do that makes your partner most happy, & repeat it as often as possible.
-- Relax your standards a little. You're more likely to catch a good fish with a wider net! (Not that you'd want to date a fish or anything.)

"That's an advertisement," Michaelis assured him.