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My baby, Tristan is going to be a big brother soon (in June!) and I'm in the process of getting him ready. Thing is, I know I'm not that far along, and I'm not even sure of all the things I could do to make sure he won't be mean to his sibling. He's what I call a "rough-and-tumble kid" and although sweet, he's not always gentle. >_>

Right now, I'm trying to teach him things that could help me out around the house. He likes to "help" me wipe the coffee table and he throws trash away when I ask him to. I've been trying for about a week to teach him to clean up his room, and that's going fairly well...he gets bored of anything pretty easily, unless it has something to do with cars (the kid's obsessed).

I just wanna know what you guys did to get your first baby ready to welcome the second. I was jealous of my little brother when he first came home and I want to try to avoid that as much as possible.

Well, regardless of what you do, there will always be some jealousy and sibling rivalry: it just comes with the territory. Also, keep in mind what is age-appropriate to expect of Tristan.

Ethan has done really well with his new sister and doesn't act out at her, but he has been acting out at us despite doing our best to prepare him. When he interacts with her, he's more interested in kissing her or playing Little Daddy, which can be just as disconcerting as it would be if he were hitting her at times. sweatdrop He's well-meaning and very sweet, but still a toddler and doesn't know how to control and moderate some of his actions yet.

The biggest change for a second child is not being the center of attention anymore and having to learn to share time. We started explaining to Ethan really early that there would be times when the baby was going to have to come first. But we also make it a point to give him priority at times too: if Evie is just groussing and doesn't really need anything, I'll often put her down and tend to Ethan first. Making it a point for both you and your husband to have solo time with Tristan will be important. With Ethan, we make sure to include him as much as we can with baby things so that he's part of the process and this is "his" baby too.

With Ethan, we started watching baby shows on TLC during the day and we'd talk about them as we were watching them. We'd talk about how babies cry to communicate and how they can't do all the neat things he can do: they're unable to move and get what they want and need more attention. He started to learn to recognize baby crying and developed an interest in babies when we were out. I'd like to think it helped him understand that his sister was going to be noisy and why, so he was more concerned about her when she cried then annoyed or bothered by it. (Though the first few days home, he'd wig out every time she'd cry and he'd get genuinely upset thinking that something was wrong with her. "Oh no, the baby's crying. Mommy, baby's crying!" XD After he realized it was normal and she wasn't dying, he calmed down pretty quickly and has learned to ignore it most of the time.)

When you go to your appointments, your provider will be happy to talk to you about this topic as well. I know my OB asked about Ethan on a regular basis and during the final visits asked about him each time. At my post-partum she asked as well. If Tristan were a bit older, there are classes offered at the hospital for older siblings. At ours, it was starting at age 3 or 4, so Ethan was too little to go. Yours may offer something similar or maybe even for younger "big" siblings.

My daughter, Raelin, is two and a half years older than my son, Logan. We talked about "the new baby" a lot when I was pregnant and I let Raelin spend time in Logan's room. Once we settled on a name, we began to use it often around her.

Our only sibling rivalry occurs when it comes to my mother. Raelin refuses to let "Nana" hold him when she's around. Other than that, she's happy to share her toys and sippy cups with him.

The only other problem we have is that Raelin has been acting out for attention because she's upset that we talk sweet to the baby and scold her for her misbehaviors. Just remember to spend time with your older child so they don't think they are being replaced or loved less. I'm guilty of this, I know, and so are many parents.

Good Luck.

I haven't had to do this yet, but my Mother has told me a lot of horror storys of how I tried to 'do in' my sister, I would just say, never ever ever leave them alone together even if they are asleep.

I've also been very concerned about this. My sister in law actually has a 5 month old son and when he was first born Malikai was vey jealous of him. I couldn't hold him without my son trying to climb up on top of me so that I would hold him instead. Eventually he got used to the idea of his little cousin and no longer being the center of attention. When we go over he wants to be the helpful older cousin. He tries to burp him while you hold him, hold his bottle to feed him, and even get him a pacifier when the baby cries. I know he'll be a good big brother.

Although I know he doesn't fully understand I've been telling him that there's a baby growing inside mommy and he's going to be a big brother. When ever he sees my bare belly he runs over and kisses it and will rub it and say baby. I'm not worried that he'll be rough with the baby seeing how he is with his cousin. What trully worries me is how bad he'll act out when the new baby arrives. It's different when the baby is actually coming home with you.