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Is it?
My younger sister, she was born when I was 12, and she just turned four. I treat her a bit harshly because I don't want her to be weak like me.
As a kid, I was always sick, I was never good at any sports, I tired easily, I couldn't stay out in the sun because I was allergic to it (truth! it's where the body can only take in so many UV rays before it rejects them). I didn't make friends easily, and I stuck to my dreams and my books. I was shy and couldn't stand up for myself. I was hurt easily, I didn't think things through sometimes and that would end up with me hurting someone.
I don't want my little sister to be like me. So I show her "tough love" to make her "stronger". I want her to be able to deal with people. She has the natural ability to talk and socialize, but she hurts others, bosses them around, and throws fits when she doesn't have her way (and often repeats herself even when you answer her).
My mother and I are trying very hard to teach her manners, but it's not all that quickly progressing.
So....(all this useless info, heh, sorry), is it wrong to be tough on her?
I want her to be strong, and I know this type of thinking in-of-itself is wrong. But I never "hurt" (it's a flick on the head or a one-touch-spanking) her without a reason (ie: she hits someone, throws a fit still after us telling her to calm down, she throws something, etc).

Touche`.
We're trying not to go beserk when she does something bad, but she goes into a wall-eyed crying fit and doesn't listen so it's hard. But I understand your points.
Thanks, Boris. =)

I was like that. Bossy, ignorant, very sociable. Maybe she's like me and she'll grow out of it. Hell, she's 4, I say loosen up, let her be a kid. Yeah, teach her manners and respect, but don't obsess over her not being weak. Anything is possible, just let nature take its course. If you think she's becomming 'weak' in the future, like in some years, maybe do something, but being tough and commanding isn't going to help.

you should still keep it about the same but loosen up a bit. you shouldnt be that hard on her but still keep her in line. i have a little sister and brother. sis-15 bro-2 1/2. to keep her from throwing things, thats simple if she keeps throwing things just sit her down for 30 sec. for how old she is until she learns and if she throws a fit tell her if she keeps throwing a fit she will stay there longer till shes learned her lesson.

I sound a bit like you. And as for your sister. I'd do the same. I know that at times it might seem like you're being a bad person but your trying to help her. I think it just might have been easier for her if you two were the same age since now she's looking at you as more of a parental figure and kids like that don't like parents. Also because you have alot more freedom than her. Stay up later, drive, and such and she wants attention could be the problem. Try ignoring her for a week and see what she does.