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Twilight fan-girls, like Naruto fans, will become violent and loud when confronted with the truth... their series is not liked by the rest of the world. They think the world would be a far better place if everyone in the world watched, read, and worshiped the characters of their obsession.

Approaching these fan-girls in the wild can sometimes lead to conversations with adult language, name calling, ridiculing, and, sometimes, fatality (not really, but its to make this more dramatic...). To avoid these avid fans of the ridiculous, I have devised a list of five things to do...

WHEN TWITARDS ATTACK!

5.) Sarcasm is a Virtue

Say you mention to a friend at school or work, that you did not enjoy the glittery, boring characteristics of Edward and the other Twilight characters. A female (it has been proven that 99.9% of Twitards are, in fact, female) turns from behind you and attacks with a voice dripping with disdain. "You don't like Twilight?!" the Twitard yells. You responded with the normal, and defensive, "No, I did not." The Twilight fan-girl will pounce. "Why not?! You HAVE to have loved it! It was amazing, and written perfectly, and all that stuff!"

Here is where you show defiance with... sarcasm. "Yes, I loved the books lack of plot, lack of chemistry, and lack of normalness in its main character, and I LOVED the abundance of Mary-Sue-ness, abundance of "specialty", abundance of lambs and lions, and abundance of GLITTER."

It the Twilight fan is not very good at detecting sarcasm (this is fairly common and will give you the time to flee. For no one wishes to be near a Twitard too long.)

4.) Hitler Wins Everything But the War

A Twilight fan is talking about the wonderfulness of Edward, how dazzling he is, how HAWT! You roll your eyes and the Twilight fan-girl sees it. You have now entered dangerous territory. The Twilight fan scoffs at you. "You don't like Edward? What are you a lezbo? All girls love Edward. He is made of win!" (Notice the internet speak. They are the tough ones. They will use lingo you are not used to, due to your correct use of the English language. After all, they DID read Twilight.) Now, you must laugh. You have a whole arsenal of gramatical attacks you could use, but tread lightly. You never know who will be listening in.

Simply reply "No, he is made of glitter. And if I wanted a cold, abusive, pillow-eating stalker, I'd go back in time and date Hitler."

BEWARE: This may cause the girl(s) to attack your "love" of Hitler. But at least you will not be talking about Edward, right?

BEWARE OF LAST STATEMENT: Twilight fan-girls are able to turn anything into a rant of the love of their obsession. If this happens... You know what, just freakin' run.

3.) I Wanna Be "SPECIAL!"

Many a Twilight fan-girl likes the series because the character is so... damned "special"! This makes the read and fan-girl feel similarly "special". Now, if you ever hear a fan-girl squeal and say "I'd love to be Bella! She's so amazing. So SPECIAL! Plus, she has amazing Edward!" I dare you to walk up to said raving lunatic and smack her in the head, anime-style. Look down at her tear-filled eyes and say to her "If you wanna be speical, go find a normal guy who will love you and treat you right, not stalk you and eat your pillows!"

Then walk away. She'll think it over... One hopes.

2.) Mary-Sue, Where Are YOU?! (Ninja-Style)

Its not THAT surprising that a lot of fan-girls will never think this character, Bella, is a Mary-Sue. It may be the fact they don't know what Mary-Sue is, or it may be because they are too busy projecting themselves into the character, but the cold hard fact it... they MUST KNOW THE TRUTH!

During an argument with the dreaded fan-girl, pull out the Mary-Sue card. "At least I know a really fictional character when I see one!" This will confuse the Twitard, leaving her thinking you a moron. Do not worry. After this attack, they will not want to continue on speaking with you. You will have made your point and they will never know it!

1.) I'm Allergic to Teen Pregnancy...


The best, and simple way to end a Twitard argument in the wild is to laugh and ask "How old will YOU be when you give birth if you follow in Bella's shoes?"

Teen pregnancy will either scare the crap outta them... Or leave them saying the cliche "It could never happen to me!"

If it is the latter, pat the little Twitard on the head, and walk away. Slowly.

Taha. I like the Hitler one. >3< I like Naruto...

Ha. I heart 4,3,and 1.
Thank you,Ducky 3nodding
Your awesome biggrin


Now...time to go hunt me some Twilight Fans *Goes to the book store*

Oh! Teenage pregnancy! Good comeback!

I have two...one I came up with with one of my best friends and one I found on DA.

Mine:


I'd rather watch Roy Mustang run away from a glittery wannabe, unshaven legs poking out from under a miniskirt---causing my eyes to bleed---than read Twilight!


And if you're on DA (Deviantart), look for whitedog1 and look for the dev "Team Rape". It will give you a *BIG* chuckle.

haha very nice smile . im soo gonna use these next time i c a twitard hehe...thankx btw :3