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 Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 1:19 pm
If you find the light
and then you loose your sight,
Then you as well have been hounded
By the hunters of time.
If you get your freedom
And then loose your life,
Then you also have been ruled
By those well trained
To use a spiders bite.
If you argue comely,
And then are shot down
In the middle of the night,
Then you too have discovered,
The cold hard facts of life.
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 2:22 pm
It was a very interesting poem. The content catches the readers attention, which is a very good point. However, the rhythm seems a bit odd, especially since the rhyme pattern doesn't seem set. Also, a couple of lines seemed they shouldn't be on seperate lines. It's a good poem, but I'm afraid the rhythm lowers the quality of it. It's pretty good though!
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 7:23 am
It's okay, but I think the rhyning was a bit off.
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