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Tags: LGBT, friends, harry potter, discussion, music 

Reply 04- Arts- Writing,Drawing,Poetry
Alone,tell me what you think

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Chrissy -27-20-

PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:48 pm


I see you there in front of me,
your face,your hands,your eyes.
I hear you talk,I hear you tell,
your hopes,your dreams,your lies.

I walked with you on a sun-lit-trail,
together hand in hand.
Then twilight came and you were gone,
and now alone I stand.

The woods cold,the tree's black,
the darkness is closing in.
You have gone away from me,
My brightest light has dimmed.

Betrayal is an empty space ,
cold night,dark room,alone.
Now no one can redeem your face,
my sweet knight,my safe light,gone.

It just came to me.I was bored.This poem is stupid,really.
Should I add more or is this fine?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:47 pm


I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

Not bad.
You're great at rhyming
and it still flows.

Mischief managed.

PyroDogs94
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Domerin Thompson

PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:20 pm


Nice flow - actually that is well written. The only thing is that there is nothing unique about it; it is too general and has the feel of been said a thousand times already.
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04- Arts- Writing,Drawing,Poetry

 
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