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 Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:18 pm
Yup, you heard me. I actually want to start drinking with my friends (a live in an area with very FEW members, plus I'm underage, plus I'm a member, so that's a double against me). I'm thinking about stuff I REALLY shouldn't. I'm doing some stuff I really shouldn't. I can't put it all into words though.....
And before you say ANYTHING, I REFUSE to talk to my Bishop or my parents. No offense to them, but I wouldn't be able to handle it.
And as for praying, I can't seem to handle that either. I'm sure God would help me if I would actually let him, but right now, I just can't. I don't know why, but I just seem to be unable.... I have far too many doubts in my mind......
All I can say is.... oy.....
And why did I post this? I don't know.
Anyway, thoughts? Comments? Whatever nonesense?
EDIT: I guess this kinda goes along with my last topic about asking for a prayer, except that was for my family. This problem now is just me. Wow.... a few years ago, I would have never guessed my life would be falling apart like this.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:32 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:37 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:41 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:44 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:48 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:48 pm
That describes most of my life. In all reality I don't think I really had a testimony until a couple years ago, but I mostly gained it at EFY. I know exactly how you feel. It's like your dead ne? You know you should pray, you know you should read teh scripture but you have no desire. I don't know why I never had a testimony. I had quite a few personal things which should have bolstered it but they didn't. Going to God would be the right thing, but I know how impossible it is. Truthfully, I don't know what advice to give other than to stick with the standards, and just dogidly do what the church says to. I had my conviction at EFY and since then I have had a testimony, albeit a small one.
Let me bear you my testimony though, that I know that I know this church is God's church, and I had a firm belief that Joseph Smith is a prophet. I have been through what you are going through, and I pulled through. I know you can too. God never leaves us. I know that if I can get myself onto my knees and pray that I will be blessed in some way. I know that once you start doing one thing wrong how quickly your life falls apart, and soon you look back and wonder how you fell so far. Keep doing the little things; read your scriptures, pray, even if it feels meaningless. I will be there to talk to if you feel the need. You can gain the spirit back. My prays are with you, and all my love too. If you need help I'll be there and so will God. I know this, and I have felt his so much of his love. When he was in Gethsemene he felt what you are feeling now. He knows everything you've felt. God loves you, he is your father. Amen.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:51 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:51 pm
Sorry but my mom wanted to watch a movie with me and I have been feeling really annoyed with her so I need a good experience. If you ever need someone to talk to, PM me.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:54 pm
Dragonwarrior_Keltyr That describes most of my life. In all reality I don't think I really had a testimony until a couple years ago, but I mostly gained it at EFY. I know exactly how you feel. It's like your dead ne? You know you should pray, you know you should read teh scripture but you have no desire. I don't know why I never had a testimony. I had quite a few personal things which should have bolstered it but they didn't. Going to God would be the right thing, but I know how impossible it is. Truthfully, I don't know what advice to give other than to stick with the standards, and just dogidly do what the church says to. I had my conviction at EFY and since then I have had a testimony, albeit a small one. Let me bear you my testimony though, that I know that I know this church is God's church, and I had a firm belief that Joseph Smith is a prophet. I have been through what you are going through, and I pulled through. I know you can too. God never leaves us. I know that if I can get myself onto my knees and pray that I will be blessed in some way. I know that once you start doing one thing wrong how quickly your life falls apart, and soon you look back and wonder how you fell so far. Keep doing the little things; read your scriptures, pray, even if it feels meaningless. I will be there to talk to if you feel the need. You can gain the spirit back. My prays are with you, and all my love too. If you need help I'll be there and so will God. I know this, and I have felt his so much of his love. When he was in Gethsemene he felt what you are feeling now. He knows everything you've felt. God loves you, he is your father. Amen. Thanks. If I came off as having no testimony, I have a very small one. The problem is, part of me wants to throw it to the wayside, and ignore it for the rest of my life, and it's destroying the rest of me. I have very little faith, and it's gotten so little of late, it's getting hard to work off of.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 7:07 pm
as long as you have a little bit of faith you won't fall, such as I did. I had no faith. I knew I should have faith but it was not there.
((I'm curious how old are you?))
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 7:09 pm
Dragonwarrior_Keltyr as long as you have a little bit of faith you won't fall, such as I did. I had no faith. I knew I should have faith but it was not there.
((I'm curious how old are you?)) 15 and I'm not so sure I won't fall, because my faith is dwindling (sp?)
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 7:31 pm
Skwunky Dragonwarrior_Keltyr as long as you have a little bit of faith you won't fall, such as I did. I had no faith. I knew I should have faith but it was not there.
((I'm curious how old are you?)) 15 and I'm not so sure I won't fall, because my faith is dwindling (sp?) Stay strong, but remember that God will be there to help you up when you fall.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 7:42 pm
Dragonwarrior_Keltyr Skwunky Dragonwarrior_Keltyr as long as you have a little bit of faith you won't fall, such as I did. I had no faith. I knew I should have faith but it was not there.
((I'm curious how old are you?)) 15 and I'm not so sure I won't fall, because my faith is dwindling (sp?) Stay strong, but remember that God will be there to help you up when you fall. sure.... And yay for me, I have school tomarrow. At least it's only a short week. two half days followed by no school on Friday for fall break.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 7:52 pm
Skwunky Dragonwarrior_Keltyr Skwunky Dragonwarrior_Keltyr as long as you have a little bit of faith you won't fall, such as I did. I had no faith. I knew I should have faith but it was not there.
((I'm curious how old are you?)) 15 and I'm not so sure I won't fall, because my faith is dwindling (sp?) Stay strong, but remember that God will be there to help you up when you fall. sure.... And yay for me, I have school tomarrow. At least it's only a short week. two half days followed by no school on Friday for fall break. lucky bum blaugh Sorry, if I'm not much help. I'm really not great at giving advice sweatdrop
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