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 Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:38 am
I feel we should all get laid back a bit and start laughing our asses off at the jokes there are for the President to be. Note as I have made this thread the day before the inauguration.
Jokes that I know of:
What do JFK and Obama have in common?
Nothing Yet. xD
I'm gonna get you an Obama tree ornament because I believe everybody should hang him from a tree xD
If an apple and Obama fall from a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple because the rope would break Obama's fall. xD
Have you got any or heard any good ones?
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Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:23 pm
"Why does Barack Obama want change so bad? Because he wants every cent of it."
If John McCain is elected President of the United States then the French will immediately surrender to us. If Barack Obama is elected President then the French will immediately invade us.
Here an interesting fact: If you add John McCain's age and Barack Obama's age together you'll get the number of times Obama usually says "uh" when answering a question.
Q. Why did John McCain cross the road?
A. There was an Old Town Buffet on the other side.
Q, Why did Barack Obama cross the road?
A. To help the other side.
John McCain rolled up his sleeves and went offshore in the Gulf of Mexico looking for oil for American drivers. Barack Obama responded by going to the shores of Hawaii, taking off his shirt and oiling up his torso for American soccer moms.
Barack Obama's camp claims that John McCain was cheating in their first forum appearance because he actually gave straight answers to the questions. Politicians aren't supposed to do that.
Any candidate that John McCain picks to be his vice president will necessarily be a younger candidate than he is. Any candidate Barack Obama picks to be his vice president will necessarily be better candidate than he is.
It's a hard election for conservatives this year. They'll have to hold their noses tight in order to cast a vote for John McCain. But they'll have to hold on even tighter to their wallets if Obama gets elected.
The sad fact is that if John McCain is elected President he might not last another four more years. A sadder fact is that if Barack Obama is elected President then America might not last another four more years.
Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He's deciding which of his names (Barack Barry Hussein Obama Soetoro) to put on it.
***
Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. The ink isn't dry yet.
***
Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. Hillary Clinton won't give it back to him.
***
Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He wants to surprise us at his swearing in.
***
Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He accidently smoked it.
***
Q. Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It shows that he didn't have a virgin birth.
***
Q. Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It got mixed in with his Rezko mortgage records and shredded.
Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.
Q. How can you tell when Obama has been smoking dope?
A. He answers the door when the phone rings.
Q. Why did Obama think that he had campaigned in 57 states?
A. His heavy pot use has left him a brownie short of a full pan.
Like any experienced Chicago politician, Obama would go the cemetary to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested they just move on to the next plot. Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has a much right to vote as anyone else here!"
Bill Clinton said, “I didn’t inhale.”
Barack Obama says, “I didn’t inject.”
Richard Nixon said “I am not a crook!”
Barack Obama says “I am not on crack!”
Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here!”
Barack Obama says, “Leave the bucks here!”
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Anagrams
President Barack Obama = Arab base, pink Democrat
President Barack Hussein Obama = A Democrat speaks inane rubbish
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.
Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.
Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'Obama in '08 .' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.
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Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:07 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:58 am
What's the difference between Hillary and Obama? Hillary has a p***s.
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:06 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:58 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 7:09 pm
Desert_Fox_Rommel What's the difference between Hillary and Obama? Hillary has a p***s. MEGA WIN. xd
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Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:07 pm
What's the difference between Barack Obama and an african lion?
One's an african lion, one's a lyin' African!
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Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:43 pm
[Kwest] What's the difference between Barack Obama and an african lion? One's an african lion, one's a lyin' African!
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Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:50 pm
What's the difference b/t Simba (The Lion King) and Obama?
One's an African Lion and the other's a Lyin' African.
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Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:34 pm
now that the election is over, and Obama won, you know what it amounts to? One more black family living in government housing.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 1:45 pm
He's really just the governments token black guy.
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:42 pm
What did Obama get on his SAT's?
Barbecue Sauce
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Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 8:25 pm
Come
Help
A
N***a
Get
Elected
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Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 8:56 pm
Decaying Waste What did Obama get on his SAT's? Barbecue Sauce Ok I missed it. I know what the SAT means as implied by the question, but I don't understand what the SATs given by the punchline mean.
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