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 Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:59 pm
It's A Short Story That I Did For An Essay. Like It Says. And i would Like Your Feed Back Please? The Title Is Called:
A Reason to Live.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:07 pm
A Reason to Live
“Oh my gosh! Everybody, come outside,” screamed an unknown girl.
“Ung,” moaned Ren as he raised his head from the desk. He had been
sleeping in class, waiting for it to start, until he was interrupted by that
girl. He reluctantly opened his eyes and all he saw was his classmates
rushing out the door. Sighing, he got up to follow them as he slowly
trudged his way down the halls. As soon as he stepped into the doorway
to outside, he heard a familiar distant voice. Shocked, he ran out to the
crowd that had gathered outside of the school—only to find out that it was
his best friend’s voice. He twisted and turned his head to find where it was
coming from. When he finally glanced at the rooftop with everyone, his
spirit jumped out from its chamber. His best friend, Choji Nakamura was
up there on the edge of the roof and looked like he was ready to jump
any minute. Confused, Ren Shouted, “Choji are you stupid?! Get away
from the edge already! You can fall idiot!” Choji became frustrated and
shouted back, “I know I’m an idiot! I know I’m stupid and that’s why I just
wanna die! I’m not smart like you, and everything I do is stupid! There’s
nothing useful about me and that’s why nobody wants me anymore! I’m a
failure to my parents and EVERYBODY! Nobody wants me here anyways!”
Ren said to himself, “Oh snap! He better not!” With that, he rushed back
into the school building and ran up three sets of staircases onto the
rooftop. As he opened the door, he screamed, “Choji! Get away from
there!” Ren with widened eyes, sprung from the door and dashed to
where his friend was—which were 30 yards from the door. Choji turned to
see Ren racing after him and uttered the word so softly it was almost
whispered, “Goodbye.” Falling backwards and knowing that deep down
was death waiting for him, he smiled weakly as he took one last glance at
the best friend that he was going to leave behind. Ren couldn’t stand for it
to end like this and sprinted even more to his friend. Desperately, Ren
held out his hand in hope of saving Choji. As he approached the edge, he
leaped fiercely and grasped Choji’s hand—only to have it slipped out
because he couldn’t get a good grip of it. Watching his friend fall, in what
seemed like slow motion, Ren’s face twisted in horror and grief. He leaned
over the ledge that stood up to his waist, and was about to jump after
Choji, believing that if he did, he could somehow find a way to save him.
By then, others had shown up, and prevented Ren from jumping. He
struggled to free himself of their grasp, and when he finally did, he let out
a painful roar that echoed throughout the school—even over the screams
that took place below. January 10, 2004; Choji Nakamura, really good
friend of Ren Azumaru, committed suicide at Gokusen High School by
jumping off the roof.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:09 pm
Although it was Choji who had passed away, Ren’s spirit died along with
his friend. Typically saying, he didn’t care how he led his life. Since that
day, Ren skipped school a lot because it signified Choji’s death and was a
constant reminder to him of how he believed he could’ve saved his friend.
He felt guilty and responsible for Choji’s death and constantly told himself,
“If only I had gotten there faster…or if only I wasn’t such an idiot and lost
my grip! Argh! I’m so stupid!” Feeling so, he felt like he didn’t have the
right to enjoy and live a happy life—he closed himself off to everyone. He
pretty much became like just any bystander who lived everyday of his life
like a lifeless and fragile tree just waiting for a quick storm to sweep it
away and end its misery. Although that was how he felt, others didn’t view
him in that way, instead they thought of him as a gloomy and hard to
approach person. With that impression, many avoided him but he himself
didn’t mind. His gloomy character didn’t affect his attitude towards people
who disrespected him. Therefore, he got into many useless fights with
those wannabe Yankees who didn’t notice him or so. Many with their stuck
up attitudes, would have never admitted that they had bumped into him
but would always say that it was Ren’s fault. Sick and fed up with the
world, he didn’t care if they killed him but was still self-righteous.
Whenever it reached the 10th of the month, he would feel grumpier and
moodier than usual. The smallest irritation often led to a fight to relieve
his pent up stress. It caused many problems with the school because his
many fights were often reported to them. All the staff and parents just
thought that he was problem child and mistreated him badly. The few
friends that still talked to him here and there understood how he was
feeling but thought that he took it to the extreme and it was unnecessary
of him to do so. Yet again, he is left in the world of having no one
understand how he feels.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:12 pm
Six months had past since the dreadful day happened, and everyday of
his life was painful. Then his life turned upside down on one of the few
days that he actually attended school. Sitting alone in the back of the
classroom with his chair tipped and rocking back and forth, Ren
daydreamed immensely outside. He was so dazed that he didn’t even
notice his teacher walking in and everybody standing up to bow for her.
Noticing that Ren wasn’t standing up, the class president screamed his
name and snapped Ren back into reality. “Ugh. This is such a pain,” he
grumbled to himself but stood up and bowed with the class anyways. As
soon as he was appointed to be seated, he quickly returned to his posture
and was then put into another trance as he looked through the window.
Next thing he knew, he realized 15 minutes later that there were shifting
noises besides him. He twisted his neck irritated of the noise just to find
some weird-looking guy with neck-length maroon-colored hair pulled back
into a thin ponytail at the nape, smiling at him. Ren screamed in a
somewhat emotionless tone, but was loud enough to be heard by the
whole class during their lesson. Mrs. Sayakawa sighed in exhaustion and
reluctantly asked, “Yes, Mr. Azumaru? What is it?” A confused Ren just
stared blankly at her until he could finally put it into words, “Who’s this?!”
Mrs Sayakawa followed Ren’s finger and at the tip of it was the person
sitting next to Ren. She then sighed again in disbelief and stated, “He’s the
new transfer student. I introduced him earlier and I put him there
because there weren’t any other seat ok? So don’t complain, I know you
will anyways.” The guy next to Ren turned to him and said with a wide
grin, “Hi! The name’s Togu Eichizawa, or just call me Teppei. Well,
actually, I think I would prefer for you to call me Teppei. I like that name
more!” Ren stared at him hard, trying to figure him out, but ended up
ignoring Teppei to respond to Mrs. Sayakawa, “He can sit on the floor for
all I care! He’ll survive, trust me, and I’ll make sure of it.” With that, Ren
glared at Teppei, but the teacher purposely misinterpreted what Ren said
and responded sarcastically, “Oh, are you volunteering yourself to show
this fellow classmate of yours around? Aww. This is a first since a long
time. Okay, since it seems like you really want to do it, I’ll let you.” “No!
That’s not even it! It’s because—“ Ren protested but it was futile because
he was quickly cut off by Mrs. Sayakawa. She was one out of the few
teachers who still believed in Ren, so it satisfied her to have him showing
these different feelings of complaints to her. With a smirk on her face, she
interrupted Ren, “Well, too late! It’s all settled now and I don’t care what
you have to say, I have a lesson to teach about Japan’s attack on
America’s Pearl Harbor that cause World War II.” With that, Mrs.
Sayakawa ended the conversation and class went on. When the bell rang
for lunch, Ren reluctantly showed Teppei around the school but still kept
to himself. Throughout the whole tour, Teppei had been talking about the
most random subjects ever and half the time, Ren had been
daydreaming. The next day, Teppei stuck with Ren again at lunch, and the
next. Even though Ren didn’t want him following him everywhere, Teppei
still did. Not too long after that, rumors spread that they were really good
friends, but how Ren saw it was that Teppei just kept following him. What
he didn’t realize, was that Teppei was slowly unlocking all the chains that
Ren had tied around his heart. He was expressing the emotions that he
had thought he kept safely locked. Once in a while, whenever Teppei did
something stupid, Ren would try his best to hold back a chuckle, but it
often came out anyways.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:15 pm
They’ve been known as “friends” to the entire school after 2 weeks. That
day, Mrs. Sayakawa announced that she was going to take the class on a
hiking trip in Osaka to explore the old places that the war took place and
to enjoy the nature. They would leave 2 days from that day. On the day
of the hiking trip, they were to chose a partner and be responsible for that
person and vice versa. Teppei didn’t second guess his options at all, he
went straight to Ren, who was simply daydreaming and facing the bus,
ignorant to the rules. When they reached a certain landmark with the rest
of the group, Mrs. Sayakawa explained to them, that she wanted them all
to be very quiet and walk along the path with only their partner as
company. She explained that it would be a better way to really discover
the nature’s beauty. So the first group went, then another, and pretty
soon, it was Ren and Teppei’s turn. As they walked along the path, Ren
dropped Choji’s old 2nd button that he gave him as a joke during junior
high. In Japan, on graduation day, if a girl likes a certain guy or vice
versa, then you would ask for the 2nd button on the person you have
affection for’s school uniform or if you was a boy then you would offer
your 2nd button to the one you like. If they give it to the one who asked
or the button is accepted, then it’s like accepting the other person’s
feelings. The joke that was played was that on their junior high graduation
none of the girls asked for their button, so Choji made a joke about it,
making it seem like Ren had feelings for him. Ren carries it around now
as a keepsake Choji. Noticing that he had dropped the button, Ren chased
the button as it rolled off the trail. Teppei yelled after Ren, but he ignored
it, so feeling like there was no choice left, Teppei followed closely behind.
Right as Ren bent down to pick it up; he suddenly slipped on the muddy
ground and ended up sliding off the cliff. Right Ren thought that it was the
end—he saw a familiar hand reached out and grabbed his hand that had
reflexively flown up. Ren was hit with the flashback of what happened with
Choji—except the roles are switched. Ren was now about to fall off like
how Choji was and here come someone trying to rescue him. The
situation left Ren speechless because this was scene was what had
traumatized him for 6 months. Teppei, being his usual talkative and
carefree self, grunted awkwardly, “Um, Ren, I can’t really pull you up. I’m
not strong enough; can you help push yourself up a little too?” This made
him realize that although it’s somewhat the same scene, it’s different
because he’s different. Ren chuckled at the thought of Teppei and agreed
with him. Pushing himself up and having Teppei pulling him up, they got
him to safe ground. As soon as they were on flat surface, they both
collapsed on the dirt floor panting from all the surprises and actions that
happened in such a short amount of time. After they had recovered a little
bit, they climbed their way back up to the trail and Ren decided to tell
Teppei about what happened with Choji. Seeing as to how they just
experienced a similar event he figured that Teppei would understand from
his point of view. Teppei had heard rumors about the incident from others
and wanted to ask Ren about it, but understood that it might’ve been too
personal and gave up on the idea. Teppei listened intensely because to
him, this was the first time that Ren had talked about himself without
Teppei even asking about it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:17 pm
Walking home from the field trip, Ren thought about the events of today—
especially the fall. He shook his head and grinned when he thought about
how Teppei asked for help. He thought, “Wait, what is so different about
me and Teppei that I couldn’t save a life but he could.” This thought
shocked him and he stopped walking to fully think about it. Trudging his
feet along the sidewalk, he kicked a stone furiously with restless thoughts,
“Why did he have to save me? I don’t deserve to live; a pathetic fool who
couldn’t even save his best friend when needed the most is no longer
needed in this world. What’s the point of saving me? I was so ready to die
anyways, just waiting for it to happen. Maybe if I had died then, then I
could’ve escaped this feeling of grief. It’s all his fault. Togu Eichizawa. He
came into my life and now things are all messed up. But I shouldn’t blame
him for everything. He didn’t know about what had happened until I told
him afterwards. He just thought I wanted to live and was afraid of death,
like those fools. I’m not scared of death. I’m not!” Ren continued to pace
back in forth between the conversations amongst himself.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:19 pm
Walking in through the door, all Ren heard was Teppei’s voice blaring
through the classroom. Ren, still feeling pretty ill about Teppei, ignored
him to not cause any problems and just walked to his seat. Teppei’s
excitement sent his observation skills into oblivion and didn’t notice how
Ren was feeling and walked over anyways. “Hey Ren,” greeted the merry
Teppei, while Ren just mumbled, “Uh-huh, hey, Togu.” Still feeling proud
of how he somewhat saved Ren’s life, he boasted about it as a joke to
Ren. “Hey, Ren, since I basically saved your life, which means your life,
belongs to me now,” exclaimed Teppei and followed was a loud laughter
to signify that it was just a joke. Ren was getting irritated now and replied
harshly, “Whatever.” When Ren was talking, not once did he look up at
Teppei at all. Teppei, still in oblivion, teased, “Hah, I saved your life! Yup,
I did it! Well, with your help too, but still. Hah! All that matters is that I
saved your life so, in a way I kind of own you!” He was blabbering so
much that it ticked Ren off even more, and he couldn’t take it and blew up
in front of him. Ren shouted, “If I’m just gonna be saved to be your little
pet then you should’ve just let me die instead!” His outburst shook Teppei
because all of a sudden the mood changed drastically. Teppei stuttered,
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Ren’s negative energy was swirling
around the room by now and nothing else mattered. So he replied bluntly
and rudely, “What? Are you stupid? I said why didn’t you just leave me to
die like how my friend Choji died?” The things that Ren were saying
stunned Teppei but it also began to angered him. He then shouted back to
Ren, “You wanna know why I didn’t let you die? Because I saw that in
your eyes you desperately wanted to live! You were basically calling for
help!” This pissed Ren off, because he believed otherwise. Ren shouted,
“What? You think I’m scared of death like some pathetic fool like you?”
Teppei was fed up with it, especially with what he said last. He ended up
punching Ren on his left cheek and said, “You better be scared of death! If
you didn’t want to live, don’t you think you would’ve committed suicide by
now too! It just shows what a coward you are.” This injured Ren’s pride as
he flew backwards and landed on his butt. It also angered him because it
was a landmine that had just been stepped on.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:22 pm
Ren swung at Teppei, but before he could even reach Teppei, Teppei had
already swung his fist to block it and said, “Hah! You are a murderer. How
did your hand ‘slip’ when you desperately wanted to save your friend but
here you are, with such a firm grip against mines? You did it on purpose.
Liar!” Ren was furious and swung Teppei’s left cheek and sent him landing
on his behind grunting, “Umph!” Teppei wiped the little blood that had
oozed from the left corner of his lip. He studied his blood for like 2
seconds then looked up at Ren and smirked at him. Slowly getting up, he
stated, “See! Now you’re mad because you don’t believe it too. But then,
why would you go and distance yourself from everyone who told you that
‘it wasn’t your fault’ as if you had something against it? Get over it; it’s
getting kind of old. You tried your best to save your friend, but you
couldn’t. So what?! It’s not your fault. Idiot! Instead of acting like you died
with him, live for both of you guys! He had a crappy life and was envious
of you, well, that’s what it seemed like to me from all the things that I’ve
heard. He wanted a life like yours, so don’t throw it away—live your life to
the fullest already! There are people who have wanted to live but couldn’t,
so if you can’t still live it for Choji, then live it for all those other people
who would never be able to see their loved ones anymore, like my
mother!” With that, Teppei landed one on the left shoulder making Ren
stumbled backwards and Ren gasped out, “Whoa!” As he landed the blow,
a single tear drop slid out from the corner of his eyes in remembrance of
his mother.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:25 pm
Later on that day, they got punished for fighting in class but Ren had a
worse punishment because of his record for reckless fighting. The whole
time they were in office, Teppei didn’t acknowledged Ren at all because
he was still mad at Ren’s outbursts. After Teppei finished his shift, he left
home without a single glance towards Ren’s direction at all. It gave him
time to actually let the words that Teppei said sink in. He thought about
how foolish and stupid it was of him. It shocked him that someone as
cheerful as Teppei understood pain far better than he did. When they
finally allowed Ren to leave, he went over to Teppei’s house to apologize.
As soon as Teppei stepped through the gate, Ren grabbed Teppei in a
friendly head lock and said, “Thanks, Teppei, and sorry about much
earlier.” Teppei was struggling to release himself from the headlock, until
he heard Ren call his name. His eyes lightened up and said, “Did you just
call me ‘Teppei’? Wow. That’s a first!” Ren rolled his eyes and demanded
Teppei to go somewhere with him. As things turned out, they went to visit
Choji’s grave and prayed. Before Ren left, he rummaged through his
pocket and placed it on the grave. It was a button with: Ren Azumaru’s
2nd Button, I will get a girlfriend by the time I graduate high school!
AND THAT's ALL!
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