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Welcome to Issue 28 of TLOEM Newsletter. The first real Newsletter of 2009. This has to be my least favorite newsletter. It seems to have caused a few problems for us. We're now in February and we got a few events this month! Stay tuned for info about them. Now, onto the Newsletter!

Note: Some facts in this newsletter may be wrong due to things changing so much during this month.


By Shaff

There has been quite a lot of guild changes since my return to the guild.

• I refreshed the guild layout and got the Information Thread up to date.
  
• I changed Vice-Captain and Crew around. It probably won't be changing much at all.
  
• Crew now regularly do duties for the guild. They get their duties from the Crew Subforum. Some of these include inviting new members, moving & locking threads and working on this newsletter!
  
• We now have a Warning System. 2 Warnings and then you are banned. Martyr suggested a new system added to this. Crew can appeal to have members unbanned.
  
• The guild celebrated it's 2nd Anniversary. It started as A Nice Gaia Exists in 2007. It became TLOEM in late 2007.
  
• The guild celebrated the Anniversary with a theme week including a Rock Star theme, a Fairy theme, a Furry theme and others.
  
• Announced Shaff's plan to add tags to Subforums. Sometimes they will say 'ANNOUNCEMENT!' or 'EVENT!' or anything like this.
  
• The Guild reached 200,000 posts and 100,000 donated to the Guild Account. Thanks for posting!
  
• The TLOEM Guild Mule is controlled by certain members of crew. They are Shaff, Psywing, Mysterious A, Gale-Chan, color=emo

A lot of other things have happened but I haven't added them. I'm sure we'll have a big list for next issue too!


By Shaff

January's Moron of the Month was Mysterious A. She also won Moron of the Year for 2008 which is obviously going to be yearly. She only receives one piece of art because color=emo won't draw two pieces. Maybe if I paid her she'd do two pieces. Nah, She wouldn't and I wouldn't pay her. So, I hope you like your art Myst! Happy Moron of the Monthses!

February's Moron of the Month is Winter Charade. She came 2nd for Moron of the Year and was so close to winning! Congratulations, Winter! You're our kindess user and definately one of my favourite! wink
Enjoy your art by emo... When she does it... You too Myst. She'll do it soon... I'm sure. gonk

There's going to be some changes next month. March 09 MotM will be voted in by active guild members. No more of these inactive people voting. I'll keep my eye on next months voting to make sure any inactive or mule-like votes are deleted. Also to those who had their votes delete for Feb voting, read the thread rules next time.


By Shaff

Here's a list of a bunch of people who have posted a lot. Sorry if you have been missed out but I don't feel like going through our giant Member list. I'd ban people with no posts but I like having a huge member list. gonk

• List will be done close to the Release Date of the Newsletter.

I'll try to get more people on the list next time! Go post more before the next newsletter comes out!

Now it's time for the top 10 active people. 10 people selected who I've been seeing a lot recently.

Key //
- New
- Up
- No Change
- Down

1. Senti-Du-Bon
   
2. Typo Positiv
   
3. Shaff
   
4. Peppermint Oreo
   
5. StationWagon
   
6. Martyr_of_Death
   
7. Ritorin
   
8. Aimless Shadow
   
9. Alterdeus
   
10. Greyscaled

Well, wasn't that interesting? ;D Keep up the posting and maybe you'll get on the list! If you have a complaint about not getting on this list, send a PM to somebody who cares.


By Gale-Chan

Gale: Hello, I've seen you around before, who are you again?
Martyr: I'm Shaff, and you are?
Gale: I'm your interviewer, Gale. Doesn't that mask in your face difficult your talking?
Martyr: Nope, it's a mystical mask given to me by the Daedra.
Gale: I see, how did you end up in TLOEM anyways?
Martyr: Umm... I was in a mid school picking up gi- Uh... I got a random invite from Shaff telling me to join, then I lurked for the first two months and never posted and then I became a well hated reg.
Gale: I'm sure you can't be THAT hated, why you think that hate came to be?
Martyr: Because I came on everyone there, some of them had to shave their heads; it was that sticky. So they came to hate me. But no, it's because I bother the hell out of people.
Gale: I can see that, any of those people you like bothering more than others? You must have some favorites...
Martyr: Hmmmm... It's always fun mortifying Psy and it WAS fun rickrolling Senti. But then I got bored harassing her... Ahhh, gewd tiems, gewd tiems.
Gale: Her? I hear that Senti is quite a character; which team you in, Boy Senti or Girl Senti?
Martyr: Girl Senti, of course IM not Girl Senti. I just think Senti is a girl. I'm a boy myself, a boy who loves tacos.
Gale: Ah yes, tacos ARE very nice... And what other things do you stand for in TLOEM? Rapping getting legalized? Psy getting emperorship? Everyone changing their name to 'Shaff'?
Martyr: In this order: They are nice; Nothing; No; No, I should be emperor and not him, he's a hunk of junk; and no.
Gale: Nice. Good memory there, any famous last words?
Martyr: Uh... WEN I WAAS...A YUNG BOI.....MAH FATHA TEWK MEH ENTOO THU CITI TEW SEE A MERCHIN BAIND.
Gale: Well, there you have it, Martyr_of_Death at his fullest, see you all next time in Interview with a Moron.


By Dragn Breth II

Hey, TLOEM!
I have a very awesomeeeeee song for you.
Wanna know what it is?
Well too bad.
j/k
My first featured song of the year is...
"Dreaming of You" by The Coral
this is a really awesome song and I hope you like it.
wink


By Mythey Maysonia

Welcome to You Are All Diseased, an advice column.
This is all for fun. Two simple rules: don't ask any serious questions, and don't expect any serious answers.
That being said, ask me some questions! Ask me about cooking, fashion, friends, family, homework, world hunger, poverty, construction workers, tuna fishing, garage sales, *****, rubber duckies, pin-up girls, shower curtains, Invader Zim, Post-it notes, duct tape, or how to make macaroni salad using that green thing stuck in the back of your freezer. ANYTHING at all!
Just don't ask me to buy you lunch, you deadbeat.



Dear Deadbeat,
If you need monies, do what all the other deadbeats do. Go to Durem and sell off a vital organ, like a kidney or something. I hear those crazy dark elves will sell anything on their underground marketplace.
Don't have a kidney to spare? Sell your virginity.
....Don't have that either? Whore yourself out anyways. Lots of people do, and they turned out alright. Just use protection, okay? Remember, it's all fun and games until you get an infection.
Love, Mythey



Dear Scaredy-Cat,
Go to Target and buy a military, heavy duty, professional grade flashlight. Not one of the cheapie ones. Buy some over-priced batteries with lithium or some fancy sounding s**t in them. Put the batteries in your flashlight and turn it on. Duct tape the flashlight around your head. Never take off the flashlight, ever. EVER.
Have a nice life,
Mythey



Dear Florida Golf Course Snack,
It means I have eaten you. I just finished eating a chocobo for lunch, I had you for a snack, and then I'm hitting up the nearby homeless pet shelter, or as I like to call it, my personal all-you-can-eat buffet, for dinner.
Sorry. Had I known earlier that you were into vore, I would have kept you awake and conscious as I was eating you. My bad.
Sincerely,
Mythey



Dear HungryDude,
Drive into your nearest Taco Bell and order a Crunchwrap Supreme. Take it home and eat it. Sit on the toilet and wait for the inevitable to occur: burning, painful, unforgiving, and possibly lethal diarrhea. After you've s**t out everything you possibly can, drink some water, wait for the black spots in your vision to fade away, THEN eat the cat. Clearing your stomach and bowels of all its contents really brings out the best taste in cat meat. I learned that from experience. biggrin
Sincerely,
Mythey



Dear FAIL and Games,
You heard screaming from the oven? Are you out of your MIND? Don't you realize what you've DONE?!
You used vegetable oil instead of butter, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?! mad
As a professional culinary school graduate, let me tell you from experience, cakes made with butter always have superior texture, flavor, and mouth feel over cakes made with vegetable oil. Wait until the screaming stops, then throw your cake in the garbage, just get rid of it! Start over at the beginning and use Grade A Sweet Cream UNSALTED butter. Not oil, not margarine, not shortening, only use real butter!
And get a stripper to wheel in the cake on a trolley, not to put into the cake. What if your stripper gets hungry while waiting and decides to start nibbling away at the cake around them? What if this causes the cake the collapse from the inside right in the middle of the Happy Birthday song? Then you got another problem on your hands. rolleyes

You're number one! wink

Mmmmmhmmmn. wink

☂ ☂ ☂

My name was spelt wrong.

lol.

lol


also i forgot to put our post counts gonk

Fix'd redface