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 Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 12:11 pm
I'm going to apologise for the second topic I've posted here, but I really need to get this out somehow, and I need advice from an outsider's point of view. I don't think this forum is visible to the regular LI, so the person in question won't see this.
So, you all know about my boyfriend trouble, and I'm also going through exam stress right now. I've had another problem added to the list today.
The basics. My female friend told me she likes me as more than a friend, and while I'm fine with lesbians and gays, I don't like the fact that she's chosen me to crush on - she knows I'm straight, and she knows that I love my boyfriend/bestie with all my heart, so she should have known better than to complicate things.
Despite the fact I thought I was ok with the whole matter, it seems to have affected me more than I thought seeing as I was crying earlier while communicating with mum - it was because I don't know what to do, and I don't want to communicate with this person right now.
I'm just wondering, is there any advice anyone can give me as to how to deal with this, aside from trying to get her to back off slightly? I'm trying to get round the whole thing, and failing pretty badly.
Oh, also, she posted in the regular LI thread asking about it. I elected to stay out of the topic, due to the fact I probably am not thinking with the clearest mind, having found out earlier today.
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 3:25 am
She might well understand that you're straight and is only hoping, but not expecting, reciprocation.
The best thing you can do is talk it out with her. Tell her straight how you feel whilst still understanding the situation. If she really feels that way then she had to get it off her chest.
Talk to her, apologise and tell her you don't feel the same way. Explain to her that it's made things complicated for you and that the best thing for both of you would be to move on.
She might not like it, but even if it takes a great length of time, eventually she and you both will realise that to put things straight into perspective was for the best, instead of avoiding it and not really knowing what's happening.
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 9:57 pm
I'm curious - would you be as upset if it were a male friend who confessed his feelings for you?
I'm not trying to accuse you of anything, but the idea of it being a "lesbian crush" may make this feel like a bigger deal than it is.
As Marcus said, she probably just needed to get these feelings off her chest, not expecting reciprocation. Feelings are always awkward and scary, but I've confessed to a gay boy, and we managed to stay friends. It can work out.
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