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Apology

This sonnet cycle is written by one of my characters, Kendra, who is the head of a magical government. She has to reside over the four races (Humans, Witches, Vampires, and Angels) that do not get along with one another. In fact, the Witches still hunt Vampires to kill them; and it is not uncommon for a Witch to comment atrocities such as rape against the Vampire that was hunted. Kendra use to be one of these Witches until her resent past, but it was so traumatic for her that she refuses to talk about it. Now she had created this magical government and has to keep it secret from the Human world, but she wants to start the Human world thinking about the possibility that there are these creatures out there.

Kendra would want it to rhyme and have iambic pentameter, but she had to work through my limited poetic abilities. I cannot hear iambic pentameter so I just tried my best to have ten syllables in each line, but I’m not prefect at telling where syllables are either. I can’t rhyme without making it sound cheesy so I tried just to rhyme the last two lines of every sonnet, but near the end, I couldn’t keep up with it. I choose to make it that thing where the last line starts the next sonnet because it excited me. It sounded like a really cool concept, and I wanted to try my hand at it.

In the first sonnet, she is just trying to set up the world and call on the Muses. She does this by telling the audience that everything is not what they think it is. There’s something hidden in the past, the present has to be seen through a metaphorical lens, and there are people who can see the future. At the end, she called on the Muses saying that they alone have the key to see the world. This goes back to her philosophy that fiction is the only way that the Magical World is going to be able to ease the Human World into the Magical World.

The second sonnet talks about her love, Equality. That is the only thing (at this point in her life anyway) that she wants. She wants the races to get along and the two worlds to get along, but she knows that all of this is going to take time. She probably won’t be alive to see it happen, but she keeps striving for it. In the first twelve lines, she goes through all of the other virtues that would only be half-hearted without Equality with them. For example, Freedom could not be free with racist people feeling free to kill the person next to them because of their heritage.

The next sonnet I call the Human sonnet. It is a sonnet based solely on the humans and what Kendra thinks about their lifestyles. She wants they to except Equality between themselves so she can feel comfortable introducing them into this whole new world. I decided on adding the horse metaphor because I think it fit well here.

Sonnet four is the Witch sonnet. It talks about the Witch lore. Jochebed, Miriam, Elisheba, and Zipporah were the four main witches at the time of Moses, which was shortly before the separation of the Witch and Human races. These four witches controlled the four witch clans that could control elements. Moses was the Head Witch which is the leader of the four tribes and the only witch that can control all four elements. Even though the Head Witch can still control all four elements, Moses is the only male Head Witch to date.

Sonnet Five is the vampire sonnet. It deals a lot with immortality because Vampires are immortal and laugh at the ways Humans come up with to be ‘immortal.’ The first two lines of this sonnet is a poke at the Witches. Witches use to call Vampires ‘Stone People’ whenever they were around Humans, and Zealots refers to the Witch’s Vampire hunting history (even Angels don’t hunt Vampires). This entire sonnet is in the voice of a Vampire talking to Kendra. When the sonnet was first published in the Magical World, many people thought that Kendra’s husband (a vampire) actually wrote it, but he adamantly denies it.

Sonnet Six is the Angel sonnet. Angels have a different view on immortality than Vampires. Angels view immortality as a curse because they are forced to work for God or Satan depending on whether they were a good enough person in life. Angels are created when a person is killed by a Vampire. If that person has a gene for Angelism, they are then an Angel. There is no choice about it. The marks refer to the act of tattooing members of the different races. All the races except for Humans practice this.

The last sonnet is a quick wrap up that I wished I had had more time to revise. I wanted one of the Muses to come in here and say a little something, but I was starting to be pressed for time and that flew out the window. Without further addue, this is my sonnet cycle which I entitled “Tomorrow in the World of Mankind.”

Let me first say....
the 5th sonnet was my favorite. I think mainly for the fact, that you used Romeo and Juliette, and my name happens to be Juliette..
and that is how it is just so happened to be spelled
So, that made me happy ^^

But really. It was good. I like how each sonnet flowed into one another. But, I really won't call them sonnets. For the main reason that sonnets have such a strict code, and they generally always deal with love. (Both Shakespearean and Italian. Yay 2 years of AP English~)

Perhaps maybe making it into an epic poem? I dunno, oh, also, maybe number your sonnets. When I first started reading them, I didn't realize that it was the second sonnet until a few lines in.

But, really, I think my favorite one was the 6th sonnet. I just loved that one.

While, I think that maybe you could make them flow better, because sonnets are so strict with iambic pentameter. I'm not picking on you, because I know in your first post you said you really couldn't do it, (don't worry, neither can I. I hate writing sonnets) But not even with the syllables, maybe just reading it outloud, and seeing which words don't work and mess up the flow of reading it.

Other than that, they were really good. I enjoyed them a lot. My main thing was not having them numbered.

Kudos.