Welcome to Gaia! ::

Sup guildies, here's our 29th issue of TLOEM Newsletter, no tl;dr-ing or we'll kick you. I mean, it's worth it, it's full of lulz, so go and read on.




By Gale-chan

In recent news we've heard we are under by Imbecilia, claiming they own us, everyone get a ******** gun! k, no, not really, don't alarm ya'll. Just some changes here and there:

-Newsletter is under Gale-chan's charge now.
-MotM without art permanently? More details at 11.
-Shaff made another come back.
-B&s and shits and giggles.
-In the end, we are all still bffs.



By Mysterious A

When I was your age, post counts didn't matter for s**t! It was all about post quality, not QUANTITY! You young kids and your post "counts". Go learn a real post! AND GTFO MY LAWN!



By Gale-chan

Gale: Well, this month we have none other than Panic Avec Moi with us, so tell us how you got in the League.

Panic: Well, one day I was invited by Shaff. It was after I had ignored guilds for quite a while... So, I avoided posting but talked to people via msn chats somehow. I only started posting a few months ago for srs.

No clue how I was invited either, since I was never in GCD... Where most of you seem to come from.

Gale: I actually asked to be invited... xD Anything that triggered your posting in the guild? What made you change your mind from lurking?

Panic: Well, after being in the chats for ages. [Discussing vaginas with most of the females in the guild.] I decided to just start replying to threads. Ya'll seemed fun enough.

Gale: And from the guild's fun bunch, any top members you'd like to name drop?

Panic: Well, that flirt Gale always makes me smile. ;]

Gale: Oh my... x3 But talking about flirting, I hear you have the record in the guild, what do you think about that?

Panic: Oh dear. >///< I just happen to love you all bunches, no matter female, male, or unknown~ The guild brings out the flirt in moi. =3 So, I wouldn't be shocked if I had a "record." You know you all like it. ;D

Gale: I'm sure they do : P So, since February brings so much love around, try to predict me what could possibly happen from here to the end of the month in the guild o:

Panic: I predict a massive lazy orgy. Where every one forgets their preferences and just has fun. . . Or the world will end. Either of. =3

Gale: Sure sounds possible with Shaff's mood swings, what do you think about him anyways?

Panic: I think he's a darling on msn . . . Either then that he tends to be to into Asians. Which I have this thing against... xD [in case no one has gotten that yet] Ionno. He's an okay guy.

Gale: I see, something else you'd like to add before we finish? :3

Panic: I think I'm too boring. =3

Gale: I don't think so, but before we end up taking over this too; this was Interview with a Moron, see you all next time.



By Teases

Teases sees it all!



and this avi is FIERCE~!

A matching, and must i say a well matching avi and a pirate to boot! HOLY $#1T! amazing! x3 Along with this title the recipetent will also recieve a chibi drawn by moi! FIERCE amirite? ;D I knew I was right.



By Dragn Breth ll

Good day, fellow morons.


Have you ever listened to a song and thought to yourself, "Hey, this song is awesome!"?

Well I have that song for you.

It's called "I Believe In a Thing Called Love", by The Darkness

Not only is it a great song with great guitar parts, but the vocals will give you butterflies wink

So listen to the song.
I know you'll like it.

I'm Dragn Breth, and this has been your C-Span segment on Barack Obama.
(lolwut?)

biggrin



By Senti-du-Bon

Hello my fellow guildies. How are you doin', huh?

Enough small talk, I'm here to educate you numbskulls in the way of the dragon--I mean, science. I'm a science/history nerd and wanna share my vast wells of useless knowlege with you all.

DID YOU KNOW THAT

There are 20 essential amino acids needed for synthesizing proteins in the human body. If just one of these is missing, proteins, like fingernails or muscles, will be effected. Often times, linkages from the correct tertiary and quadretary structures to the initial polypeptide chains will be synthesized incorrectly or unable to preform their functions. However, lacking these acids works on an even smaller level. Without correct amino acids, protein chains cannot be produced in the process of translation because there is no amino acid present to match the coding on the mRNA strand. In laymans terms, eat your veggies or yer royally ******** YOU KNOW



By The Censorship Fairy

"I Always Lose"

Why is it that I always lose?
I do just as good as the ones who win.
Maybe even better, much to my chagrin.
But I can't complain or I look like a has been.
It doesn't matter, there are always different views.

Inspiration for article title: http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff28/beatonna/yeats.jpg


By Detective Mortalis

Hello and welcome to Mort's classic movie review! Where I tell you about what I think of a movie or movies and plot holes I find.

Last week I went with my cousin to see Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. I'm glad it was a prequel because I seriously remembered nothing from the first movie (so much so that lets just say I didn't see it) and hadn't seen the second. I enjoyed the movie so last night I decided to watch the first two. I liked them but I found a few plot holes and a question so I thought I'd share them with you since I'm at home sick today and can't sleep.

1. So apparently the Lycans have been searching for a human descendant of Convenus for centuries so they can bring together the two blood lines. But we know from Lucius and Sonja that the child of a vampire and werewolf would also be a hybrid. So why didn't the Lycans just capture a vampire and impregnate her?

2. Whenever the lycans would find a descendant of Corvinus and they were not an exact match they would kill them. The whole thing is that they have to have the right gene which is passed down in non active form until a descendent gets it and it is active. So just because the descendant doesn't have the acitve gene, doesn't mean that there child wont. By killing them they were severely cutting down their chances of finding someone with the active gene in the future.

3. In Underworld Evolution the entire thing is that Markus (the first vampire) is trying to free his werewolf brother William. This is explained through the movie as being because they apparently have a strong "brotherly bond." Seriously? What a stupid reason. Markus kills his own father without flinching, a man who has done nothing to hurt him in 800 years even though he could apparently kill him easily. And yet his brother, a ravenous beast with only a minuet amount of intelligence left (apparently just enough to recognize his brother) he goes to great lengths to free. Why? Whats his plan? What is he going to do with his Lycan brother once he is free? William is nothing but a ravenous animal and would do nothing but create more unthinking beasts like him.

4. Also In Underworld Evolution Markus says that he has grown stronger since he first became a vampire. Is that why he is able to transform into bat form or was he always able to do that? 1. If he was always able to do that then why was he so afraid of Victor and why did he let Victor lock up his brother in the first place? 2. If the bat form is a rather new development (like it happened when he was hibernating) and he is getting stronger over the centuries, shouldn't it be the same with his brother? That would mean that William should have evolved enough to get his human form again and his intelligence.

5. The necklace key: I'm going to give more leeway in this one and not mind it as much. I'm not going to say its a mistake, its more just something that I think. The necklace is one of the keys to Williams cell, Victor doesn't kill William because he wants to use the Lycans as slaves. In Rise of the Lycan's (and flashbacks from both other movies) Lucian is seen stealing the necklace from Viktor after Sonja is burned alive. Now if you were Viktor, and you knew the necklace was the key, wouldn't you have fought harder to hold onto it? And when you found out that apparently Kraven has killed Lucian, wouldn't you want to see the body or have Kraven give you the necklace? I mean, that is a really importanmt necklace! That way you could use it to kill William and therefor, all Lycans in general. And even without the necklace, Viktor knows where William is hidden; why did he not just go there and kill William long ago when the Lycans got out of hand? I mean, the key would sure make it easier but it wouldn't be impossible to get the sarcophagus open without it.

***
Lastly, in the second movie Selene drinks the blood of the father Corvenus. In my thinking this makes her the same as Corvenus's sons. That means that if an animal bit her that she would get that animals traits. What animal do you think she should have bite her?



by Remon Rime

Today you should take some popcorn and put that in your mouth while you chew gum. Then you will have popcorn gum, the gum that crunches and tastes buttery.



By smiles_its_me

This image pictures several silhouettes of cartoon characters. The first person to PM me the correct answers wins 2k from me, simple no?



ALREADY SOLVED



By Amish Astronaut

La Pucelle: Tactics
Year: 2004
Platform: PS2
You can probably get it for: 25 Bucks
Rating: emotion_awesome emotion_awesome emotion_awesome

Summary: La Pucelle is a game that I came to by accident, I was looking through a used bin at Gamestop when I was, like, 12, saw it, and was like “OMG ANIME LIKE BLEACH AND NARUTO LOLOLOLLLL”, so I bought it. At the time, I couldn’t stand the game, because it’s a turn based tactics game, like Final Fantasy Tactics and Arc the Lad (buy those games, now), and I thought Crash Bandicoot was the only good game ever. I put it aside until about a year ago, and the game is solid. Not bad, not good, but solid. It’s by the same people who made Disgaea, so if you liked that then you’ll be good with La Pucelle. Anime fans will adore this game as well.

Plot: The story is that there’s this church that employs lil’ kiddies to fight demons and exorcise them and s**t (since when don’t little kids do stuff like that in anime, though?). Some dark prince is supposed to rise and wreak havoc all over your s**t, so you, as Prier, a typical short tempered, large breasted anime girl, hope to combat him and SAVE DA WORLD. This is where the game gets cool; the story changes depending on your progress, so there are many different ways the game can play out.

Gameplay: This, as I said, plays a lot like most turn based grid games, a genre that you either love or hate. The voiceovers and attack cutscenes are cool, nothing to write home about, though. WHAT REALLY TWEAKS MY s**t THOUGH is that the gameplay is slowwwwwwww, mostly in part to the fact that it’s an early PS2 game and the cutscenes take forever to load, play, stop, and switch characters. Otherwise, typical.

Graphics: The style is cutesy animu~~ Kawaii~, so if you like it, good for you. Not my favorite style, but it didn’t hinder the gameplay for me. This, again, can be set back by the fact that it’s an early PS2 game (US release date was ’04, but the game was done and released in Japan in ’02). Once again, typical. You see the pattern?

Replay value: It’s good in the sense that the endings vary depending on your play, but because of the sluggish gameplay you might not feel like playing the game more than twice. This even effects replay after deaths; if you fail a grid, you might wanna take a day off. You guessed it, typical.

Music: To be honest, I played this game around 10:30 at night while playing through it, so the volume was off. I’d expect some generic animu vidyagaym music.

So perhaps the greatest problem with La Pucelle is how mediocre it is, but it’s worth a rent or perhaps a used buy if you’re feeling generous or self loathing.



By Ritorin



So tell me, what do these emotes look like to you? Especially the one on the far right.
Do you think they all have a special meaning, since they're put in a certain order?

But anyway,
This is where the real story begins: (Oh and be forewarned, as this story doesn't really contain any Dingos or Cats )



Hiya guys! =3


Today I woke up this morning, and felt real bored so I decided to play Crash Bandicoot 2 for the PS1(I haven't played this game in years e____e ), but it sucked because it froze whenever I stepped on that floating stone thing after you beat the first five levels.
So I stopped playing.

And decided to go play with my friend, Baw.
-------------------------------------------------------------


Dog: Hey Baw what's going on--
Baw: BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ******** ALTERDOUCHE TOOK AWAY MY BONE BECAUSE I ATE HIS WHORE OF A MARSHMALLOW b***h.
Dog: ... Whu--
Baw: BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW AND PSYWING STILL USES ME AS HIS EMOTE. I ******** HATE HIM. AND I CAN'T PEE ON HIS STUFF AND MAKE IT RUST, BECAUSE HE LIKES RUST.
Dog: Steampu--
Baw: AND THEN THAT EMO GIRL OR WHATEVER THAT ARTIST'S NAME IS, IS AFRAID OF HOW I LOOK.
Dog: I'm getting the hell out of here. ಠ_ಠ
-------------------------------------------------------------

So I left that stupid dog's house, and was going to play with Ritfox.
Hopefully.... he won't rape me again.... ;~;

-------------------------------------------------------------


Ritfox: HIYA BUDDY HOW'S IT GOIN WANTTOGOPLAYBENDOVERTHETABLESOICOULDOPERATEONYOU HUH HUH HUH?
Dog: .... Did you say bend over?
Ritfox: ******** YES. NOWI'MHUNGRYLETSGOEAT
Dog: I really need new friends.
Where are we going to eat at?
Ritfox: At Martyr's place.
Dog: ARE YOU ******** INSANE HE TRIED TO ******** NEUTER THE BOTH OF US THE LAST TIME WE WENT.
Ritfox: There's no need to be such a baka.

Dog: ಠ_ಠ
I'm not even going to make a ******** comment on that weeaboo phrase of yours.
Ritfox: I'M JUST EXPRESSING MYSELF!
See, like this:
And this: See, that's me expressing my inner homicidal rapist.
This is me being sexy on the webcams. Aren't I sexy?
And this is me watching you masturbate. But of course, I'm pretty sure someone saw this coming.

....
....
HEY
DON'T LEAVE
I HAVE NO ONE TO PLAY WITH
PLEASE DON'T LEAVE MY HOUSE!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Great. Can this day get any worse? ;__;
Two idiots(one that was about to rape me), and too many reference to actual users! D:
Great, now I have to find someway of including them all in this story, or else they're going to b***h about it(YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S TRUE D:<). ;~;

If only Capn was here.... <3

Eh, ******** it, I might as well go home and go to sleep. It's getting dark.
Night guys! =3


---------------------Later that night...---------------------


Dog: Mmmm.... I'm tired....
Dog: ......... wtf is touching me?
Ritfox: Sup.
Dog: OH SH-



-------------------------------------------------------------


Dog: ... AND THEN HE FREAKING BUTTRAEP'D ME!
Baw: idrc


The end.



By smile_its_me





By Bob Vila

STIMULUS PLAN?! STIMULUS PLAN!? What you kids know about stimulus? Ain't nothing stimulating about you kids and your hippen hops. You don't produce a damn thing, you don't do a damn thing. Back in my day we use to build all sorts of s**t. Haven't you seen my show? It was called "This Old House" not "Trendy ******** shanty for dumb loser kids who don't know s**t about credit."

I ain't going to pay for your ******** health care because I don't care about you. I'm a mountain man and we look after ourselves. Up in the Appalachians. Unless you're making some moonshine you don't even get to ******** talk to me without seeing the glint of my blunderbuss! BLADDOW! Bitches! What's up now?!



By Aimless Shadow