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just a few poems i wrote, i would like comments and criticism but no over harsh flames

Control: (prose poem)

I never said id lie and wait forever, yet when I make a move to be free I am stabbed by guilt, beaten by the blunt blade of sorrow and locked away into the pain. You stare into your mirror everynight and smile in triumph, a princess of control stand before you, a mistress to her slaves, you pride yourself in my anguish. The contorted shadows bending and forcing back the light as the dark endless currents of fate and torture collide and drown me beneath their weight, sealing me below the pitch black surface. like a worthless puppet you use me, pulling my strings and toying with me in the most harsh of ways, like a chained up dog you abuse me, tempting me then pulling away, teaching me tricks then beating me when i do wrong. either for personal reasong or for comical release. I say not a word to dare break the silence that is destined from your lips. for even if my heart were to stop, my breath to cease, and my eyes to lose focus, I would not leave you.Bound to your very essence I will become, never to stray from your side, I did not promise I would wait, yet I did promise I would stay.

Dagger:

I hide from sight
as I flee in the night
and as I shiver on the freezing earth
you laugh and joke in front of the hearth
I force myself not to cry
as the pain inside makes me want to die
my mind is attacked by a flood
as I look at my hands, and as I look at the blood
you stabbed me well
and broke through the shell
I never thought it would be you
the one I thought cared so true
and you left me with a kiss
but I hope you ponder this
in that home in which you speak
you are surrounded by people so frail, so weak
I will see you again in a place known so well
it is my home, my prison, my house called....
HELL!

Raven:

Azarath
in your eyes I see a dark
an unholy pain of two worlds torn apart
mother and father waging new wars
as your heart burns from the sores
Metrione
im the dark you shed your tears
while in the light you hide from your fears
and in your new home you find a trustworthy friend
yet even with him you still play pretend
Zynthose
and for him you hold a special kind of love
a love that shines brighter than the stars that hang above
and with him you wish to one day be a mother
but u dar not say a word nor show anysign for his heart belongs to another
but still you wait there wasting time on your chores
waiting for the exact moment when your could make him yours

These are amazing, but she is right. Grammar can be just as important as content. Try using a spellcheck system next time.

Other than that...you are really talented smile