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 Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:29 am
Hello all. Been a while since I've popped on here, but a question has been bugging me lately -_- See, I've been fiddling with possible transitioning plans for a couple of months now, but I was thinking about relationships too (especially with this past month >_>; ). I was wondering, from bio girls, if it's usually better to try looking for a girlfriend before or after one started going around mostly or full time as a girl. Also, if there might be any points against me for the fact of turning 20 last month, and yet to of been in a relationship ^^;
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and if this is in the wrong section, I'm sorry. ^^; I wasn't sure if anyone would actually see this if I posted somewhere else..
Anyway, till the next~ Dred Lily ^w^V
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:13 am
Hmmm....Hard to say really.
The unfortunate fact of the matter is that whether it's before or after the operation, you will still encounter people who do not understand you. However, if there's someone that you like whom you think will be receptive and supportive of you now, then why miss out on a good opportunity for love? If your relationship is strong then it can last through the transition.
Keep in mind though that you could change a lot mentally/emotionally during the transition, which could be hard for your partner. I read this awesome book on sexual orientation/gender identity called Pomosexuals which I would definitely recommend you check out. It's been a while since I've read it but I remember some of the contributors who had transitioned to the opposite sex found that they were no longer attracted to their pre-op partners after the operation or their sexual orientations had reversed completely! eek
If I were you, I think I would wait until after the transition when I'm comfortable in my new body but really, you know what's best for you. If there's someone special, go for it.
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:44 am
Tuonetar Hmmm....Hard to say really. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that whether it's before or after the operation, you will still encounter people who do not understand you. However, if there's someone that you like whom you think will be receptive and supportive of you now, then why miss out on a good opportunity for love? If your relationship is strong then it can last through the transition. Keep in mind though that you could change a lot mentally/emotionally during the transition, which could be hard for your partner. I read this awesome book on sexual orientation/gender identity called Pomosexuals which I would definitely recommend you check out. It's been a while since I've read it but I remember some of the contributors who had transitioned to the opposite sex found that they were no longer attracted to their pre-op partners after the operation or their sexual orientations had reversed completely! eek If I were you, I think I would wait until after the transition when I'm comfortable in my new body but really, you know what's best for you. If there's someone special, go for it. That's the thing ^^; I don't really have anyone right now I know that I'd like to start a relationship with. As I said, I've never been in one before, and I'm a bit shy and unsure when it comes to going out and seeing people. Not to mention I work at night with my two times off each week split apart. It's times like this I wish we all weren't so dedicated to our computers and home gaming systems. Maybe then..people would go out and more and physically see each other, ya know?~ Dred Lily ^w^V
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 6:11 am
Dred Lily That's the thing ^^; I don't really have anyone right now I know that I'd like to start a relationship with. As I said, I've never been in one before, and I'm a bit shy and unsure when it comes to going out and seeing people. Not to mention I work at night with my two times off each week split apart. It's times like this I wish we all weren't so dedicated to our computers and home gaming systems. Maybe then..people would go out and more and physically see each other, ya know?~ Dred Lily ^w^V Have you searched for lgbt clubs in your area? That's the only suggestion I'd have. Well, that and despite the time the internet consumes, it is a useful way to meet people which more and more people are utilizing. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 12:16 pm
I'd have to agree with Tuonetar's advice.
Also, work on getting yourself squared away first. That is top triority.
Relationships are important to everyone and I don't mean to come off as seeming like they aren't but everything changes when you change your body and how you see yourself then internally.
As afore mentioned, new possibilities may can can open up a whole new range of ideas and feelings once you transition.
You can't be holding yourself (your true self if that be the case) back in case something exterior doesn't pan out. Other people will be more willing to accept you and certain aspects of your life and body if you do so first.
I guess your conflict will be determined when you define the source from which your happiness origionates.
(ex: Is it you transitioning or having certain people in your life, etc.)
I also have a friend who has also been considering a mastectomy but b/c of her gf, has decided to suspend that idea, in part due to her gf really likes her breast just the way they are.
My advice to you I guess would be to keep an open mind about the possibility you have for transformation and maturity. You will find that given some perspective in your situation, like asking said person out, you may discover your range of ideas will grow and you will feel and think about certain things and cetain things more clearly.
Get some life experience that will put things into perspecitve for yourself and you sound like you will do fine in the future; you've got a good heart.
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