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Tags: Arts, Writing, Dance, Music, Drawing 

Reply Critiques: Poem, Short Story, and Writing for Critiquing Forum
a little piece i call "ecstasy". i hope you like it.

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c'est bon?
  oui
  non
  what? english please
  i like gold
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Shoushitsu

PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:12 pm


you came to me ravenous. you wanted out of this suffering.

i knew how to appease you.

did it hurt too much?

you and your dumb doe eyes. oak brown, rimmed with gray haze, streaked with gilded sunlight threads. like naked, primeval forests.
i wandered those forests. stole from them their silent, resonating life, leaving heavy bootprints in their dank, virgin earth.

i was a hunter. you housed my prey.

i drew out my knife and dug into you.

you whimpered like a whelp, hissed like a bobcat, writhed like a coon in a snare gnawing at its limbs. i could feel your bones enfolding me, your tender muscles loosening, reddening, melting around me.

i loved it.
you loved it.

freed from your hunger .
(freed from your i n n o c e n c e)

when i withdrew, you were bleeding like a hanging carcass.
giddy like a leaping deer, escaping, alive and ecstatic, from the predator,
but with a bullet buried in your side.


A
wounded
deer
leaps
highest,
I've heard
the
HUNTER
tell
PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:10 pm


fml.

Shoushitsu

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Critiques: Poem, Short Story, and Writing for Critiquing Forum

 
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