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I'm getting a tattoo in three weeks (it was supposed to be done yesterday but my artist got sick, so at least a week's delay, and then I had to put it off an extra two weeks to prevent my mother having a nervous breakdown) and I'd like some tips on how to make my mother and her partner realise that tattoos are not in fact 'against religion' (as symbols of ideas I personally think that they're very much linked to spirituality etc), 'lower class' or something to be ashamed of. Personally I think that they're art, symbolic of some pretty major ideals(at least mine will be), and not something I'll ever regret. However, they refuse to listen and are still pleading with me not to get it done.

To put their reactions in perspective, this is a medium-size black cat on my upper back/shoulderblade, which will be visible in a singlet but hidden by a t-shirt. I already have two helix piercings, which my mother has grudgingly accepted and her partner offers to cut off with bolt cutters. (Her partner is also a general all-round wanker, so this may just be natural behaviour for him, as offensive as I find it.)

I am in fact old enough (20) to legally get a tattoo, but I'd like to try and make them see my point of view, which is namely that I want this tattoo because it has immense value to me. In short, it symbolises a lot of attributes which I think I need to work on, and will serve as a reminder that these are my ambitions. I don't think it's fair of my mother to expect me to live my life according to society's expectations about tattoos, when I don't see them as something to be ashamed of.

Does anyone have some suggestions for getting them to accept that I will be getting this tattoo, in three weeks, whether they like it or not? I'll be going ahead with it regardless of whether they're fine with it, because in the end, I'm 20, it's my shoulder the damn thing's going on, and I'm not getting something done that I'll regret later on. But I would like them (at least, my mother) to understand that it's something that means a lot to me.

I think her main issue with it is that it's quite large, for a first tattoo, quite dark (it's almost all pretty solid black) and, while it is on my back, it's on my shoulder, in a position where it'll be on show in practically any dress I choose to wear. Which is fine by me, but not so fine by her. I get the feeling that she also sees tattoos as something that girls don't get.

I think they're getting used to the idea, so my plan of attack now, is to pretty much keep my mouth shut. 'Out of sight...'

Yep. I got it anyway, got a lecture of 'I'm so disappointed in you' from Mum re. not mentioning it in the morning beforehand, and a week later, got a 'Okay, I STILL HATE TATTOOS...but that's really beautiful.' I haven't shown or told her boyfriend yet, and I don't really intend to.