I wrote this the other day and decided to post it here. Tell me what you think. Go ahead and be brutal. I had a rough version that I revised, but I'm not sure whether it actually got any better.
Where were you last night?
Did you go far away?
Climbing tall towers,
Or soaring through the air?
You travelled far away last night,
And forgot to take me with you.
You didn't think to stay last night,
And drifted as only you do.
Did you see giant purple children
On cherry-topped mountains?
Were there plots of land unseen
By any mortal man?
Did you swim in a river made of gold
Full of the brightest colorful fish?
Or maybe you hitched a ride on a falling star
Which could grant your every wish.
I know you found a million things last night,
Though not all were necessarily good.
You fought through all the good and bad
As I know only you could.
Maybe you met ten thousand men
Who wanted to eat you alive.
Or perhaps you saw a giant bee
That came from a giant bee hive.
Where were you last night?
I know, I really do.
You were off in dreamland,
But you forgot to take me with you.
Off in Dreamland
Where were you last night?
Did you go far away?
Climbing tall towers,
Or soaring through the air?
You travelled far away last night,
And forgot to take me with you.
You didn't think to stay last night,
And drifted as only you do.
Did you see giant purple children
On cherry-topped mountains?
Were there plots of land unseen
By any mortal man?
Did you swim in a river made of gold
Full of the brightest colorful fish?
Or maybe you hitched a ride on a falling star
Which could grant your every wish.
I know you found a million things last night,
Though not all were necessarily good.
You fought through all the good and bad
As I know only you could.
Maybe you met ten thousand men
Who wanted to eat you alive.
Or perhaps you saw a giant bee
That came from a giant bee hive.
Where were you last night?
I know, I really do.
You were off in dreamland,
But you forgot to take me with you.
