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Reply Critiques: Poem, Short Story, and Writing for Critiquing Forum
How about a quick Tragedy? ---Critique please? :3

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AnnaConDUH

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 5:48 pm


How about a quick Tragedy?

A Bullet, blown through the temple of your head,
by a physcotic suicide gunner.

In with bullet,
Out with blood.


Where the whittness tries to help, but instead, turns the weapon on himself.


Or, perhaps a nice, long, painful death?

Stapling your swollen, cherry lips together.
Taking a razor, and slowly slit your body, carving designs of death into your porclein skin.
Burning your hair,
Strapped to a chair,
And nobody dares to care.
Amputating your fingers,
With live wires and Stingers,
A deadly monster is he.
Driving nince inch nails,
That never ever fails.
A monster that will not flee.

So with the taste of your blood,
Which quite litterally he would,
A slow painful death will be delivered to thee.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 8:09 am


It was well written and all, but a bit too creepy for my liking...

mychemicalimb4l4nce

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Critiques: Poem, Short Story, and Writing for Critiquing Forum

 
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