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byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Captain
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 Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:59 pm
 ρℓαgυε яαтs αη∂ вℓσσ∂ч cяυмρεтs...A Pagan In Hell
A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before a set of pearly gates. St. Peter asks him, "May I help you?"
The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"
Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."
"But I don't believe in heaven," says the Pagan.
Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"
"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."
Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodeling."
"What should I do now?"
Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."
The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.
He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I'm Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"
"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"
Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."
Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming chasm, which immediately closes up with a thud.
The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"
Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Christians; they wouldn't have it any other way."
from All Things Pagan
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 2:21 am
lol I have heard that one quite a few times, but when it was told to me, they hadn't taken over the summerlands, it was just simply closed for construction, and it will open back up soon and in the mean time the pagan should wait in hell.
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byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 9:15 am
ρℓαgυε яαтs αη∂ вℓσσ∂ч cяυмρεтs... xd
I found it pretty amusing. I found in one of my cults on vampirefreaks.com Status >in want of fuseling
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Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:45 pm
LOL i love that story! makes me think of a bumper sticker i want to get that says "it's YOUR hell, YOU burn in it!"
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byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Captain
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Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:10 pm
Civilian13 LOL i love that story! makes me think of a bumper sticker i want to get that says "it's YOUR hell, YOU burn in it!" ρℓαgυε яαтs αη∂ вℓσσ∂ч cяυмρεтs...
I've seen that, although I think it was on facebook xd
I love it
Status >in want of arts
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Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:58 pm
My favourite funny Pagan story is apparently true!
In small town America, a group of Fundies (reportedly Klansmen) discovered that a group of Pagans would be meeting in the middle of a natural reserve or similar. They decided to ambush them in the middle of their ritual and put the fear of god into them.
So, they got a big cross and some torches and went off into the bush, envisioning that they would find a group of teenagers dancing around in the nude with flowers in their hair.
Instead, they find themselves staring at the business end of spears, swords, and a couple of sizeable axes. Instead of the pascifist kids they'd expected to find, they'd stumbled upon a Heathen Blot.
From somewhere behind the weaponry, one of the Heathens said "So help me, if that cross goes up, you're going up with it. I have my hammer right here..."
The story goes that the Fundies left in rather a hurry wink
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 7:21 pm
Sanguina Cruenta My favourite funny Pagan story is apparently true! In small town America, a group of Fundies (reportedly Klansmen) discovered that a group of Pagans would be meeting in the middle of a natural reserve or similar. They decided to ambush them in the middle of their ritual and put the fear of god into them. So, they got a big cross and some torches and went off into the bush, envisioning that they would find a group of teenagers dancing around in the nude with flowers in their hair. Instead, they find themselves staring at the business end of spears, swords, and a couple of sizeable axes. Instead of the pascifist kids they'd expected to find, they'd stumbled upon a Heathen Blot. From somewhere behind the weaponry, one of the Heathens said "So help me, if that cross goes up, you're going up with it. I have my hammer right here..." The story goes that the Fundies left in rather a hurry wink XD Fantastic!
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 3:20 pm
Sanguina Cruenta My favourite funny Pagan story is apparently true! In small town America, a group of Fundies (reportedly Klansmen) discovered that a group of Pagans would be meeting in the middle of a natural reserve or similar. They decided to ambush them in the middle of their ritual and put the fear of god into them. So, they got a big cross and some torches and went off into the bush, envisioning that they would find a group of teenagers dancing around in the nude with flowers in their hair. Instead, they find themselves staring at the business end of spears, swords, and a couple of sizeable axes. Instead of the pascifist kids they'd expected to find, they'd stumbled upon a Heathen Blot. From somewhere behind the weaponry, one of the Heathens said "So help me, if that cross goes up, you're going up with it. I have my hammer right here..." The story goes that the Fundies left in rather a hurry wink ρℓαgυε яαтs αη∂ вℓσσ∂ч cяυмρεтs...
That's quite amusing xd
Status >in want of arts
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byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Captain
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Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 11:39 am
Sanguina Cruenta My favourite funny Pagan story is apparently true! In small town America, a group of Fundies (reportedly Klansmen) discovered that a group of Pagans would be meeting in the middle of a natural reserve or similar. They decided to ambush them in the middle of their ritual and put the fear of god into them. So, they got a big cross and some torches and went off into the bush, envisioning that they would find a group of teenagers dancing around in the nude with flowers in their hair. Instead, they find themselves staring at the business end of spears, swords, and a couple of sizeable axes. Instead of the pascifist kids they'd expected to find, they'd stumbled upon a Heathen Blot. From somewhere behind the weaponry, one of the Heathens said "So help me, if that cross goes up, you're going up with it. I have my hammer right here..." The story goes that the Fundies left in rather a hurry wink oh, my goodness! i sooo wish i could have been there to see that!....and to take pictures wink
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Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:01 pm
Sanguina Cruenta My favourite funny Pagan story is apparently true! In small town America, a group of Fundies (reportedly Klansmen) discovered that a group of Pagans would be meeting in the middle of a natural reserve or similar. They decided to ambush them in the middle of their ritual and put the fear of god into them. So, they got a big cross and some torches and went off into the bush, envisioning that they would find a group of teenagers dancing around in the nude with flowers in their hair. Instead, they find themselves staring at the business end of spears, swords, and a couple of sizeable axes. Instead of the pascifist kids they'd expected to find, they'd stumbled upon a Heathen Blot. From somewhere behind the weaponry, one of the Heathens said "So help me, if that cross goes up, you're going up with it. I have my hammer right here..." The story goes that the Fundies left in rather a hurry wink
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Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 9:50 am
kehehehe heard this one a few times but still makes me giggle since everytime I read it I picture homer simpson falling into the hell part xD
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Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:53 pm
Sanguina Cruenta My favourite funny Pagan story is apparently true! In small town America, a group of Fundies (reportedly Klansmen) discovered that a group of Pagans would be meeting in the middle of a natural reserve or similar. They decided to ambush them in the middle of their ritual and put the fear of god into them. So, they got a big cross and some torches and went off into the bush, envisioning that they would find a group of teenagers dancing around in the nude with flowers in their hair. Instead, they find themselves staring at the business end of spears, swords, and a couple of sizeable axes. Instead of the pascifist kids they'd expected to find, they'd stumbled upon a Heathen Blot. From somewhere behind the weaponry, one of the Heathens said "So help me, if that cross goes up, you're going up with it. I have my hammer right here..." The story goes that the Fundies left in rather a hurry wink Hee hee xd It's fun to be a Heathen. And that last remark made me think of an icon I saw that said "Your God died nailed to a cross. My God carries a hammer. What does that tell you?"
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