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Shared Pain

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Umi Pryde

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:01 am
I wrote this in my poetry class this semister, it's a found poem from the words in Cathedral, by Raymond Carver


Shared Pain

Instead of dying what more does he want?
- called the ambulance in time
- put down the knife
beyond my understanding I felt sorry
I blamed him for that

went to the window wearing a smile
dragged his arm down the glass
right hand, left hand
what’s it matter which side?
I hadn’t - not since I was a kid
I’d nearly forgotten the sensation

I wished there was something different
I stared and let it drop. I watched
with admiration - it didn’t seem to bother him
I was feeling left out
He leaned back and crossed his legs
I didn’t want to be left alone
he said I don’t feel anything then laughed his big laugh
he’d been doing it since he was nine years old
I stayed up going crazy
- wanted to watch something else
- turned to nothing and apologized.
It hurt me tonight  
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 12:26 pm
Wow.  

Beximo


Umi Pryde

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 12:31 am
thanks, I think it turned out rather well. I still haven't been able to go and rewrite/work it yet. I'm hoping that means it's a good poem and not just my attachment to it.
But hey, thanks for commenting on it.
 
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