Benefits of Being a Woman
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
Taxis stop for us.
We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber net.
Irish scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.
These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
A reporter comes running up and says, “Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”
The Saudi says, “What’s a shortage?”
The Russian says, “What’s meat?”
The North Korean says, “What’s an opinion?”
The New Yorker, says, “Excuse me?? What’s excuse me?”
Boy Scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, “We might as well give up. They are coming after us with flashlights.”
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
“If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?” she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
“You have 171 sheep,” said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, “if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?”
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. “You’re a blonde! Now give me back my dog.”
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