Welcome to the exciting world of Stormtrooping! Here is where you will learn to fight, storm, and troop your way to the rank of Imperial Commander! First thing first, get some armor. You can’t go to the deserts of Geonosis fighting rebel scum with nothing but your skin on! You’ll get blasted within seconds.

Second, you must be one with your dark side. Get inside yourself and beat the light side to a bloody pulp and toss him out! Go make a tennis ball bomb or something. FEEL the dark side flow through you!

Third, pledge your allegience to the empire. Become the Imperial trooper you were born to be! Walk, jump, run, eat, sleep, breathe, storm, become a stormtrooper! To be a stormtrooper, one must troop with his storm and storm with his troop.

We’re almost there. The fourth step is find a suitable job. What shall you do? Pilot the Imperial Tiefighter? Possibly guard the Imperial prisons which store the Senator SCUM? Shall you fight on the mountains of Mustafar? Would you want to infiltrate rebel outposts and enemy ships or maybe stand guard aside a Sith Lord? It is all up to you and your Stormtrooping skills.

At last we arrive at the final step necessary for YOU to be a STORMTROOPER! You must show no mercy for you shall recieve none. Droids, Jedi, they are all traitors and enemies of the Galactic Empire and must be destroyed. If you hesitate, you will die. If you let them live, you will die later. Dedicate yourself completely to the Emperor and you shall succeed!

Congratulations! You are now ready to maintain the Death Star!